Do you find online relationships easier?

[lexinonomous]

With dating comes a series of uncomfortable in-person meetups. It can be frustrating to meet someone you've found an interest in- especially when you're suffering with social anxiety. Meeting in a public setting can make the actual meetup ten times worse. I found dates to be excruciatingly uncomfortable and usually did not end well. It had gotten to the point where I would have to play question games with people in order to get myself talking.


Personally, I have been in a relationship for nearly five years and still find myself thinking back to my online relationships. It's not so much that I miss the relationships themselves, but more so the communication. My ex and I would see each other once every three months and majority of our relationship was done through text and phone calls. I found it much easier to connect with my significant other and had all around better communication skills through text.


Do you find online relationships easier than real life relationships?


Do you prefer an online relationship?


What is it that you get from an online relationship that you don't from real life?

 

[hades_leae]

I truly don't understand how people can consider online relationships to be real life relationships. I have met women online that I ended up having relations with offline, but we could never consider it a real friendship or relationship because we had never seen each other in person. Or at least that's how I feel. I had one girl that I ended up dating from the internet, we didn't see each other for the first 2 months because she was in another state when I met her online, but she did not live to far from me when she was actually home.


When she got back, it became more real, and it was much easier because there were plenty of time "well like daily" that I wold myself to stop talking with her because I never knew if we were going to see each other. I never let myself develop real feelings for her until I saw her in person. I limited my emotions with her because of the online relationship we had, I don't know if anyone else will agree with me, but I feel like online relationships are basic, and cannot be compared to real life relationships.


Online is digital, and real life is physical...that's the only difference I need to know.

 

[amy88]

Funnily enough I met my husband online, so I definitely think that it's easier for me to talk to people in an online capacity. It allows me to think about what I say more - and have a bit more time to formulate a response. In a way, I also feel like online I'm more confident, whereas with face to face interactions I can be a little nervous/anxious.


I've also made friends online (due to similar interests) and meeting them in real life was a whole lot less stressful due to the fact we already "knew" each other from chatting online and had stuff to talk about. A big part of my SA comes from not knowing what to say or talk about, so online interactions help build that foundation for me.

 

[John Snort]

Online relationships aren't easier because it's makes it relatively easy for people to tell more lies. A friend of mine tried online dating and fibbed a bit. When he met the girl he'd been "dating" online that was their last date. Luck can favor you though and you'll meet an honest person who actually is also seeking someone to love. When I used to date I preferred meeting to ask out ladies who members of clubs that interested me. Common interests made breaking the ice rather easy.

 

[Zamininc]

Coincidentally my current (and only) relationship started online. I'm not sure if that's ultimately why it happened or not - but I'd like to think that we would've gotten together even if we first met in person. I'm now living in her country and I've been with her for nearly two years now.


I think online dating overall can be a bit dangerous and you absolutely need to verify the other person is who they say they are. You don't want to get catfished.

 

[Sue]

I met my fiance online and I found it less stressful meeting up with him in person after we had talked online before that. We hit it off immediately and now I can not imagine my life without him in it. We probably never would have met had we not met online even though we live in the same city. We just never went to the same places and we had different likes and interests. In our case opposites really do attract. I am not one to go out and hook up with people at bars, etc. Before I met my fiance I was in an online relationship with a man for 5 years. He lived in another country so we would visit each other a few times a year but we talked every day for hours on end. I liked that we could talk about anything. In an online relationship communication is the key because that is all you have. We ended up ending our relationship because we couldn't get things together for him to move here and I wasn't able to move there. If you have problems meeting people in person I would recommend giving online dating a try. You have to be careful but you can meet your perfect match too.

 

[kgord]

Yes, it is definitely easier in my opinion because you can get to know each other online without a lot of physical distractions that are present in the real world. The only caveat with online "dating" especially if you are in a long distance relationship is that when you finally meet and see the person in person it can be shocking. The chemistry that existed online might not be there in real life, so if you are long distance for instance it is best to use Skype or or yahoo messenger so you get an idea of the person first. With other online friendships, this doesn't matter so much of course.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

It's curious, but I think that I'm not a big fan of online relationships. Even if when I see the person in real life I am basically the human representation of anxiety, I think that I prefer them that way. I really don't like phone calls and I'm basically terrible at texting back or keeping a regular conversation online, and I didn't used to be like that but I don't know what changed.

 

[It'sJaz]

Yes, I find online relationships very much easier than real life relationships. I don't have the stress of talking to them face to face in real life. Although at the same time, I am also a bit paranoid sometimes, towards anyone whether I know them online or offline. That said, I think I would prefer an online relationship. It's online where I can really show who I am, as in real life, I'm a silent mess. There's no chance for me to be who I am and people get put off. However, when people get to know me online, there are also times when I can't talk to them in real-time chat because of my issues, and that tends to put them off anyway.

 

[IcemanofOz]

I'm not sure about relationships on line as I've never really had one, I do however find dealing with people online much easier than doing it face to face or even on the phone. I find myself more often than not reverting to online communication as much as possible. I even order my groceries online so as to avoid having to go to the shops.

 

[pwarbi]

I don't think there is as much stigma attached to finding a partner online as what there used to be, and with the amount of online dating sites that are springing up these days then it's easy to see why. Personally I've never tried the online dating sites as I've never needed to as I have had a partner for a number of years now, but I do know friends and relatives that have tried with varying degrees of success.


If you are suffering from anxiety then dating online can take a lot of the stress out of finding and looking for a partner, and these days I think that more and more people, even those that aren't suffering with any form of mental illness will actually prefer to use the online dating sites as it just takes out the leg work of dating. Technology gets a lot of stick but it can also help people in more ways than what we think, and online dating is just one example of that.

 

[kelden]

I think it can be more successful if an online relationship gets really serious (one of them move to another house, or they move together to a flat or something) than the usual relationship encounters at bars or social meet ups. Online you will find matches with people that share hobbies and sexual preferences, out there in real life is more a hit or miss and thus the appearance plays a major role as first impression unlike online.

 

[fukozawa]

I met my boyfriend online and we pretty only communicated through phone-calls and texting for about a year. For an entire year I was devoted to this boy even though I had never seen his face in person. This allowed he and I to get to know each other extremely well without having to worry about going on awkward dates spending money we didn't have. Though I got so comfortable to only ever hearing his voice that I would start to experience feelings of unreality where I would think that he wasn't real and that our relationship wasn't real either because he was just a voice in a phone. That was when I knew I had to meet him face to face or things wouldn't end well. So while online relationships can be easier at first, they start to take a toll when you crave the physical intimacy.

 

[Julian]

I'd find it rather scary. Dating someone who you've never met would be quite different than dating a classmate. A classmate would already know me, what I'm like. No surprises. But online dating... Will she be disappointed? Maybe even disgusted? I guess confidence would also be needed, something I lack, unfortunately.

 

[Turdburger]

Online relationships provide several advantages. Communication is improved because you have time to edit and re-word responses to say exactly what you want. Social anxiety can slow cognitive response to a crawl. Thoughts might evaporate or become so anemic that responses in conversation are reduced to single words. Allowing oneself to not get it right every time and to be comfortable with working within one's limitations is difficult to do. It is easier to communicate online because it allows for the decreased speed of thought when interacting with others. This reduces anxiety and makes online interaction preferable to in-person.

 

[Hoop3]

I met my husband online. I find it much easier to start new relationships (not just romantic, friendship, any kind of relationship) online. I would always rather email someone than call them, both in a personal and professional capacity. I just feel like I can communicate better and I seem more articulate when I type vs when I talk. I also can preview what I am going to say so it is less likely to inadvertently offend, and I cannot interrupt. I also can refer back to what the other person said so if I ding out and miss something no biggie, I can address it later.


I do have several friendship relationships that are exclusively online and very likely always will be. I think in a romantic relationship solely online would not work forever. But I think it can with friendship and professional relationships.

 

[Alex]

Relationships in general all take time and a good one that thrives needs honesty, and online provides a cover to be dishonest even if it's not intentional, the temptation is there.


I have a friend who uses online dating and she lies constantly, and it's no wonder that she can't find anyone. She married one from a personal ad and then divorced him, and she is on several sites as a paid member but knocks off a decade off her age (she's 67) which I think is silly as she wants a long term relationship, of course they will find out and then what?


Being online means that you also have the chance to think before you write, so there should be less arguments, but when it comes to Skype is that any different? You can still choose to speak or not, so there is more control in some respects.

 

[AlysBunny]

I'm a fan of online friendships. I can respond to an email or get on a message board when I want to be social and not turn on the computer when I don't. I can talk to them about anything, knowing that I may never meet them so it's a lot less stressful to share. I do feel that there's a limit to online though. They can't give me a hug or go for a walk with me or have other physical interactions that are important in my life. On the other hand, once we've interacted online without ever expecting to meet, if we do meet, I'm usually fairly comfortable fairly quickly as long as it's one-on-one. I feel like they already know me. They got to know me in the way that was easiest for me so I shared more than I ever would in person. There's nothing left to hide.

 

[KW2496]

An online relationship can be easier as far as communication goes. But I also think it can make anxiety worse once the actual meeting in person comes along. I think I prefer meeting someone in person. And there's definitely some people that are easier to communicate with than others. It gives me some anxiety meeting people in person. But I think as far as coming up with things to talk about, it depends on the person. I am pretty shy anyways so I usually get on better with people who like talking a lot because then I don't have to put in quite so much effort. It takes some of the pressure of coming up with what to talk about away.

 

[Panic57]

Personally, I have better luck with online because people online are expected to communicate if they want to meet you. I've had guys ask for my number or email and I would try to get them to talk first before I'll go somewhere alone with them. It never fails that they end up repeating the same thing before we kind of drift. The benefits of meeting a person in life is that you have an idea of what they are like in a natural setting but you could spend money on dates only to find out you're not compatible or he only wants sex. Online, you can date multiple people for the price of one really nice dinner and air out the important details to find out whether your compatible or not. You can also stay a little more objective instead of emotionally attached to a person because you've invested in them. People like to complain about how easy it is to lie online but is as easy to do it in real life. People will dress up really nice and drive a really nice car to appear rich but really they nose deep in debt from college, mortgage, and car. So you're always going to deal with liars dealing with both but I think it's easier to shift out the ones online.