Do you confront your triggers?

[DDNatureLover]

I used to be very self-conscious in public. I've learned to manage the anxiety provoked by social situations and being out in public over the years, because I had no choice but to face situations that caused my anxiety. I can still avoid some, such as driving in rush hour traffic in the city, since I don't live or work up there there days, but other activities such as going to the grocery store, don't bother me as much as they used to. Repetition seems to help. Although some stores are now offering online ordering and curbside picks ups of groceries, I would rather go into the store these days, and do my own shopping.


I used to hate public speaking, but I had no choice but to get over that in school, when public speaking was required. It took years of making speeches and giving presentations to learn the best ways of managing my stress in those situations. One way I overcame some of my fear of being out in public alone was to jump right in, and go out to eat by myself. I would bring a book with me, and treat myself to a light meal or snack. Since reading relaxes me, and also distracts me, I was able to learn to cope in those situations, and it also gave me the opportunity to people watch, which I enjoy.

 

[amy88]

My husband has been encouraging me to do that more and more. He's been very supportive of me in that sense, and I think without his help and that safety net of knowing he is there, that I wouldn't be so inclined to do it.


Simple things for me, like making phone calls are something that makes me pretty anxious, so he will even go so far as to practice with me before I need to call somewhere. I think his support is huge in helping me make progress.

 

[Elly]

I used to be afraid to talk on the phone, but my first job opportunity was at a polling company. Yes, this did involve getting on the phone, and yes people on the other end of the line could be rude because the people taking those polls had their information stolen and used in ways they didn't consent to (which was how employees like myself could call them in the first place.) So, when I think about it, it kind of was shady...well, at least they gave us a script, so both structure and repetition in training or on the job helped so much, and I emerged unafraid to use the phone ever again! I really needed the money.


​​​​​Other times, it didn't help. My social anxiety came about because of bullying at school, and even changing schools got me bullied for acting afraid of bullying. I wished I'd gotten real help and healing for that sooner, because constant confrontation alone simply never, ever helped in that case.

 

[Alex]

It can be very scary, but once I did confront some triggers (not all) it's okay. I was doing a temp job in an office and was thrown into the deep end to make about 50 calls to people to ask if they were available for a campaign. I was terrified, but had to do it, and somehow got through the day. There are certain triggers I tend to avoid though if I am a bit down or tired because it does take energy to cope as well as courage.


For some people they need to accept that people or events maybe triggers and that's hard for others to understand at times. An example is a phone call from my brother which is never good news, but I have to answer the call at times because I can't always ignore him. I tend to only answer when I feel I can speak to him, or I will ignore the call for my only sanity. I can't really ever tell him he was a major cause of my depression.

 

[sidney]

Of course it's advisable that you should confront triggers, because the more you immerse yourself in it, the more immune you will be, and in turn you won't be affected by it anymore. That has been my experience and now, it seems like I rarely get anxious about the things that bother me anymore.

 

[DDNatureLover]

amy88 It's great that your husband is so supportive. That can make all the difference in the success of any undertaking. Alex Being thrown in the deep end can be the scariest situation, because everything is unknown. That's how I've developed some of my best skills though, and also has led to some nice friendships. I agree, it's important to set limits and know what we can handle. Every day is different, and what we can manage to cope with on one day, we may not be able to the next, so it's good to be aware of where we stand on a regular basis.

 

[Panic57]

I pick and chose between the triggers I want to deal with and the ones I avoid. With the triggers I do deal with, I try to deal with them slowly. By taking apart a trigger so I can deal with it , it becomes less scary to deal with. I was afraid of public speaking but I find that I can do it in the dark with the focus on a presentations. I also deal with my fear of walking alone at night with mace or a heavy bag to hit with.

 

[AlysBunny]

I push myself to cope with some triggers but I work around others. Making a phone call to order pizza or take out is a problem but I can order pizza online or physically go stand in the restaurant much easier so I do those things instead. Oddly, I do fine on the phone if there's a script. I've had jobs where I call people with appointment reminders or answer the phone and book appointments and I'm fine with that. There's a pattern. If a call goes off script in the moment, I cope with it okay. I have trouble initiating calls that I worry might go off script but it's the build up before that's the problem, not my ability to deal in the moment.


I really work myself up about whether there will be parking I can get my truck into (because the truck is huge and my parking skills aren't great) when I go somewhere new. To cope, I plan to be there very early and walk farther if necessary. But I only do that if it's somewhere I really want to be. It has to be important to me in some way, even if I'm anxious about it too. It has to be worth fighting myself.


I have trouble in places that are crowded but if there's an event where I want to see the presenter enough, I go. I make sure someone I know will be there and try to stay beside them. On the other hand, I don't fight the anxiety to go to the grocery store or walmart. If they're too crowded, I just leave and go back later.

 

[accountingmom3]

I agree with others, I do push myself and hype myself up before confronting triggers like making a phone call or going to the grocery store. I have found that sometimes doing some jumping jacks or running in place (something to get my mind off my anxiety) and then I just have to GO for it! It is when I ponder on things and keep digging into deeper thoughts that really get me going, which is why I have a hard time waiting for things. For example, a preplanned party or date of some sort- it gives my mind time to wonder and wander constantly and freak me out. I will sit before going into a place, such as the grocery store, take a deep breath and just go. That is as simple as I can explain it without going into EVERYTHING that goes through my mind before I do anything. It is kind of like the Nike slogan, "Just do it" , for me anyways! Eating out is the worst for me, I try to plan my mind accordingly, but I think the constant waiting on the server and the food and seeing everyone around me really gets me going and I have panic attacks. I usually need to go to the bathroom, so I can cool myself down and I won't be able to eat anything else until I get home. Eating out is the only thing so far that I still avoid doing, the best I can anyways. I love "To-Go" options and thankfully my husband is supportive and a lot more understanding now than he was when we first started dating. When we do get a chance to go out to dinner or lunch, we usually go during the slow time when not a lot of people would be out and the food is served quicker as well. Well, best wishes to all and I am so happy to find people dealing with the same things I do!