Depression and Divorce

[joshposh]

It's no hidden secret that most will get depressed after a divorce. I've went through it and it was the most difficult thing I had to go through. The depression last for a long time. I never admitted it as I engrossed myself with alcohol and partying. But that never solved my problems they just were numbing agents.


Eventually over time and counseling I could get over my depression and look forward to making more goals for myself. Have any of you gone through divorce and been in a depressive state?

 

[mns1991]

Absolutely! It's a depressing thing, getting a divorce. Even though if you knew it was for the best, it is a hard thing to manage.


I've experienced something similar, (it didn't help that I had depression beforehand), and I learned that I had to be okay by myself. Learn to be happy by myself, and learn that my happiness didn't depend on anyone else but myself.


Keep your head up, it'll get better!

 

[judyd1]

That's when my depression started as well. It lasted for over 3 years. I didn't self-medicate, but I read everything I could get my hands on. And there's so much good information out there from competent professionals.


Knowledge and understanding are the keys to overcoming depression. But some sadness still lingers. That's different than depression, though.

 

[NormaD]

I just got divorced a couple of months ago, and the truth is that I am not that depressed. I think I went through the worst of it while we were still married, when I knew we were headed for divorce. Now I'm just a bit numb.... I hope with time I will be able to get over this feeling that I will never love again.

 

[joshposh]

I just got divorced a couple of months ago' date=' and the truth is that I am not that depressed. I think I went through the worst of it while we were still married, when I knew we were headed for divorce. Now I'm just a bit numb.... I hope with time I will be able to get over this feeling that I will never love again.[/quote']
Divorce did change me a bit. I do have intimacy issues now. I have gotten counseling about it before so I have identified the problems and accepted it. But life is a journey and this is just a stumbling block I suppose.

 

[Sue]

Divorce changed me but marriage also changed me. I was in a bad marriage for a very long time. The marriage destroyed my self confidence and who I once use to be. I am glad to be out of it now but I feel like I wasted so many years of my life. At the time though I believed that I needed him and that nobody else would want me because he told me that every day of life. When I left him I lost everything that I had. I had a beautiful home, money, car but I walked away from it all to find myself. I never fought for nothing I didn't want nothing. I just wanted to be free. Now I live in an apartment with a beat up car and I am starting live over again when most people are settled. I struggle with depression and there are days when I wish I could just end it all. Just to be free of all this but I have children and grandchildren who love me and I could never do that to them. I have good and bad days. Sometimes the bad days last for long periods of time.

 

[joshposh]

Divorce changed me but marriage also changed me. I was in a bad marriage for a very long time. The marriage destroyed my self confidence and who I once use to be. I am glad to be out of it now but I feel like I wasted so many years of my life. At the time though I believed that I needed him and that nobody else would want me because he told me that every day of life. When I left him I lost everything that I had. I had a beautiful home' date=' money, car but I walked away from it all to find myself. I never fought for nothing I didn't want nothing. I just wanted to be free. Now I live in an apartment with a beat up car and I am starting live over again when most people are settled. I struggle with depression and there are days when I wish I could just end it all. Just to be free of all this but I have children and grandchildren who love me and I could never do that to them. I have good and bad days. Sometimes the bad days last for long periods of time. [/quote']
That is the script of my life story. Been there and done that. I took it one step further and moved out of the country just to find myself. It has been an interesting 5 years of self discovery to say the least. There was a time when I had forgotten my ex wife's name. So this trip was a therapeutic one and it worked. Moving away had given me a fresh perspective in life. I use to think differently as we all were pretty much brain washed to believe that life was built up to getting married at a certain age and growing old together. But it didn't work out the way that everyone said it would.

 

[beautifullybree]

Ive actually found myself depressed after my parents divorce. I genuinely want them to be happy. I've always hated feeling like I was making it about myself. I know they were hurting. It was so hard to have my whole life change. Holidays were no longer the same, and I couldn't even visit our family farm since it was sold. I truly missed the way things were and found myself more and more depressed.

 

[Sue]

That is the script of my life story. Been there and done that. I took it one step further and moved out of the country just to find myself. It has been an interesting 5 years of self discovery to say the least. There was a time when I had forgotten my ex wife's name. So this trip was a therapeutic one and it worked. Moving away had given me a fresh perspective in life. I use to think differently as we all were pretty much brain washed to believe that life was built up to getting married at a certain age and growing old together. But it didn't work out the way that everyone said it would.

I am glad you were able to leave and find yourself. I am still working on that. It is hard to do after being made to believe for so long you were worthless. I am getting there though. I know that I am none of the terrible things he made me believe I was. I am not sure if I ever would want to get married again. I agree that when we were younger we were made to believe in getting married and living happily ever after but that isn't always the case. My marriage was anything but happy.

 

[sidney]

My parents had a happy marriage, but my mom has died already. I have never been married, but I'm pretty sure that undergoing a painful and stressful divorce is no walk in the park. If possible, when a person is already feeling depressed, then he or she should talk to someone, whether it's a friend or a psychiatrist.

 

[amy88]

I haven't gone through a divorce, but a few people I know have. One guy I know had his wife divorce him, but he just jumped back into a new relationship a couple of months later! Before the divorce papers were even drawn up, really. I felt sorry for him initially but I did wonder how he could really get involved with someone else so quickly, if he truly loved his wife


I don't know if it was just his way of coping. I think people cope in very very different ways.

 

[joshposh]

I haven't gone through a divorce, but a few people I know have. One guy I know had his wife divorce him, but he just jumped back into a new relationship a couple of months later! Before the divorce papers were even drawn up, really. I felt sorry for him initially but I did wonder how he could really get involved with someone else so quickly, if he truly loved his wife
I don't know if it was just his way of coping. I think people cope in very very different ways.

Some people need someone by their side at all times. I tend to think that it is a underlying insecurity and to have no one there beside him leave him vulnerable or unwanted. Those that can, and like the time alone are more confident in themselves and is in tune with their internal feelings. They don't run to someone in search of self worth or validation.

 

[amy88]

Some people need someone by their side at all times. I tend to think that it is a underlying insecurity and to have no one there beside him leave him vulnerable or unwanted. Those that can, and like the time alone are more confident in themselves and is in tune with their internal feelings. They don't run to someone in search of self worth or validation.

I think you're right. He did mention that after his wife left that he was worried he wouldn't find anyone else - since he was in his early 30's I think he felt like everyone else was already in long term relationships or married already. But yes I definitely think there's some insecurity there that he didn't want to be alone.