Depressed but parents expect me to talk to them and answer every question when I don’t feel like it

[Strawberry Banana Sundae]

I haven’t told you any of this, but I’ve had depression for several years already, left undiagnosed as well. And my struggles of depression has brought me a lack of energy and lots of irritability. I have a hard time talking to my parents, because I feel they snoop on me way too much. I can’t relax or rest without them getting in my space or demanding me to answer one of their stupid questions. It pisses me off since in most occasions, I’m not in the mood of having a conversation with them.

My parents are the type of people that have little respect for personal space, especially for their own relatives. They’re also hypocrites. Whenever I try to tell them something important (not barge in, just knock on the door), they’ll get angry and say “go away, I’m busy!”. Eventually they would push my buttons so much that I soon burst into flames and go “why don’t you just mind your own business already!”. And then, wait for it… they get even angrier and yell at me for “smart-mouthing” them and that I have no right to talk to them like that. Funny how they say that, yet they’re totally fine with invading my privacy and talking trash in front of me while on their phone.

I have a better time socializing online as I can talk whatever and whenever I want. The thing is, I kept trying to tell them that I don’t want to talk when I’m not in the mood. But they don’t listen. They think they know more about me than I do. They think I’m just a stubborn mouthy know-it-all bitch who needs to be thrown in the insane asylum. The reality is however that I’m depressed and my parents refuse to acknowledge that in me. They think depression is just the devil possessing me. But when I DO need to talk, I’m expected to keep my thoughts to myself and yet they can yak theirs all the hell they want. You get the picture.

edit: I have moved out since almost two years ago. However, I’m still financially dependent on them because of their pressures on me in the terms of society and I now feel as a failure and if I die in the REAL WORLD, everything would be MY fault.

 

[LostMyWay]

In some ways that sounds like my parents, except mine don't (or didn't in the case of my father) seem interested in talking to me. I also understand the depression aspect all too well, as it's something I've struggled with for 20+ years now. I've even tried explaining it to my parents, even tried writing a note saying I wanted to die, but it was a waste of time. So yeah I understand having the kind of parents that are hard to deal with, because mine have not been supportive in any way and have only made things worse.

I hope you are able to handle your depression pretty well, because unfortunately I know all too well just how hard it can be and how bad things can get because of it.

 

[Jonathan123]

It so often happens that depression follows a bad bout of anxiety. We drain ourselves of mental energy so that we lose interest in anything but how we feel. To expect everyone to understand is futile. Many have no idea of what depression and anxiety can do to a sufferer. But a lot of the problem is due to frustration on the part of relatives. It seems they offer advice that is not helpful and get annoyed because we can't 'snap out of it'. 'You must fight this thing, it must not get the better of you'. That kind of advice is useless and can be harmful. We then begin to feel we are weak in character and not like other brave souls. I have always found a great strength in anxiety sufferers. They battle and fight their way through the pain in a very brave way, but just exhaust themselves in the fight. They are told by those close to them to fight 'IT' when they have no knowledge of what 'IT' is or what it is like to suffer in this way. Uncaring people will blame us for how we feel. It still amazes me that in this day and age anxiety is still not understood as it should be.

 

[MATD]

In addition to Jonathan’s post I’d like to reiterate what I said in another of your posts. Parents aren’t perfect. No one is perfect. All anyone can do is the best they can and hopefully with as much knowledge as we possess. Therein lies the problem with your parents. Lack of knowledge. I suggest you try to understand this fact and take what your parents say and divide it into listening to what is helpful and putting the rest aside. Then forgive them for their shortcomings. Start focusing on your own issues instead of theirs. You can’t change who they are, it is a futile endeavor. I also suggest you educate yourself on anxiety and depression and how it affects you and how you can help yourself. The world isn’t against you but you can be your own worst enemy.