I have tons of anxiety and ocd but how I feel about myself and how I feel the world treats me is a huge prob. The thing is I’ve never been made to feel attractive at any age the way guys have treated and things they’ve said stayed in my mind all these years. I’m 35 and since I’ve been in my 30s I’ve realized all the ageism that exists against women this age. I’m sorry but it not the same for guys they are allowed to age and the world accepts them but women we need to be young and perfect all the time or we are hated and irrelevant.I notice it all the time in the shows on TV movies the message is if you have any dreams they could o come true as long as your young at 30 then your a hag and you don’t deserve to be happy. I was watching a YouTube video talking about a movie i enjoy and a guy was annoyed saying that a character who just 25 is too old to be the star like really 25 it’s sad it’s not me imagining it’s everywhere and as someone who never liked themselves it hurtful to think on the days I actually think I look good that no one else would think it cause even if I look young I’m still my age and I’m tired of it. It makes me feel no matter if I work hard on fixing my life it’s useless cause now I’m old irrelevant never find love or be seen as attractive. Anyone have advice
Depressed about age
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Cuchculan
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This depends on who you ask. I am in my 50's. To me 25 is too young. Even 35 would be too young for me. One example of something like this would be a person who is 50 plus. A male. Say he gets together with a girl who is 25. That is all legal and above board. But a lot of people would call that guy a pervert. Because of the age gap between him and the girl. So you could argue this both ways. Depending on what exactly we are talking about. You mentioned films. Load of beautiful female actresses who are 50 plus. Not saying that because I am in my 50's. A few of these would have been 50 when I was about 20. So would be in their 70's by now. Still good looking. Jessica Lange. She is 72 and I wouldn't say no. 
You don't really see a lot of women in real life who look like movie stars. They make a living based on their looks and having procedure after procedure until some don't even look human anymore! Who really cares anyway. As long as you are happy with yourself and you have people who love you, that's really all that matters. Most people in Hollywood have more issues than average people, and there is always someone who looks better and younger. I wouldn't want to date someone who only wanted to date me because of how I looked. The best we can do is take care of ourselves and be around other people who aren't that shallow.
Cuchculan
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Heck there are videos on you tube about what men should not wear once they hit 40. Load of rubbish. Don't wear this. Don't wear that. What hairstyle you should have. Never seen such BS videos in my life.
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Jonathan123
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It is said that beauty is only skin deep, and it's true. You can have a beautiful soul and not be good looking. Another saying comes to mind. 'Never judge a book by its cover'. What you give out you get back. If you have love and compassion that will be returned, 'in abundance and running over'. If you hate yourself and the world around you, then that will be returned.
I know it's nigh impossible to be cheerful in anxiety. Some wise person said to me 'always try and keep your sense of humour' Even in the middle of GAD my wife and I used to fall about laughing at some of the silly things I thought and did. The laughing soon stopped, but at least my sense of humour was still there. One big thing about the British is our ability to laugh at ourselves. I had a German friend who found it difficult to understand when I made jokes about ourselves. In anxiety we often have that 'hangdog' expression. People will avoid us because who want's to be made miserable. We can at least smile at someone! The man said to his landlady, 'I have had enough. I am going down to the river and jump in, but if anyone smiles at me on the way down I won't do it'. Are you going to be the person he passes?
I know it's nigh impossible to be cheerful in anxiety. Some wise person said to me 'always try and keep your sense of humour' Even in the middle of GAD my wife and I used to fall about laughing at some of the silly things I thought and did. The laughing soon stopped, but at least my sense of humour was still there. One big thing about the British is our ability to laugh at ourselves. I had a German friend who found it difficult to understand when I made jokes about ourselves. In anxiety we often have that 'hangdog' expression. People will avoid us because who want's to be made miserable. We can at least smile at someone! The man said to his landlady, 'I have had enough. I am going down to the river and jump in, but if anyone smiles at me on the way down I won't do it'. Are you going to be the person he passes?
It bothers me when in my experience and seeing things onlin that if a guy doesn’t find a woman attractive for her age or any other reason they have to hate them and spend their time online making videos and being on Reddit talking about how these women have no worth no guy wants them they never look good.I mean if you don’t like soemone then jsut stay away from them ans date who you want. The things is these guys want me to feel for my age that what they think is fact that’s it wired in them to like women under 30 and that no matter what no guy would want me. This is what they do and that sometimes really upsets me cause I start to believe it. I never thought age mattered till I read all this I mean if it was legal that’s all you need to know but guys really trying to say after 35 your useless and it’s messed up. I would never be that way I hope I make sense
Cuchculan
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If you go in search of certain videos you will always find them. It works both ways. Girls do make the same videos about boys too. That is not all girls and that is not all boys. That is just some people who are narrow minded. We could all get upset over this issue. But there is no point. You are only giving in to the fools who make those videos. They want a reaction. Just ignore them. Don't give them any reaction at all.
ThankfulJen
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It can be disheartening, for sure. We hit that age where we don't get to run with the young. All those great songs about young hearts, young and wild, young and free don't apply to us anymore. And Hollywood is full of the next young babe flashing on the screen. We can't do anything about it and, unless we are rich, we can't turn back time the way the rich try to do. Somehow, we have to find a way to embrace this age of wisdom and far more empathy than we had when we were 20. I always heard people say, oh I would never be a teen again. I would lol in a heartbeat. But I can't. So I really try to find the beauty within myself. The things I love about myself, that I have worked on for so long! Like Cuchculan said, those others are narrow minded. Shallow. Would you really even want to know anyone who felt like that? Thought like that? Those people have a lot to learn about reality. Thankfully we have learned a lot. We know what counts. We know what matters. Embrace it. Don't let the douchbags bring you down!
It’s all cause I never got to have good times in my teens I never had friends never went out and at 17 all my anxieties started and it’s never been the same. I never got to do things everyone else did. I feel even if I work hard find the right therapist and fix everything I’m gonna want to do things but the world is gonna say I’m too old. I really don’t feel or look my age that’s why when I look at myself I think i look good and it took years to think that I feel good about self till I think of age. Then I feel world thinks I’m old and could never look good I’m wrong to feel this way. I don’t get why the world think 30s are old is it really that much a difference to younger ages that people act like it is. I want to say f it if others want to act 80 at a young age then that’s their choice it’s not a good way to think. I feel like everyone acts like teens and twenties are the best are they really and people acting like people those ages are flawless are def wrong. I just hate that I’m made to feel old and irrelevant when i never even got to live yet it’s not right.
chickentender
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It can sometimes be hard to get older due to societal pressure.
However, the people you're talking about who make these videos and say these things are snobby and self important. Why are you trying to live up to the standards of people like that? Just because they think their opinions are important doesn't mean that they are. Why would you decide that these people who feel they are in a position to judge other peoples' merit based on age are the ones you should be working to impress or listening to?
So what if you look younger than your age? So what if you look your age? So what if you look older?
If you consider 30 "too old", then relative to how long people live now, there's only a very narrow window of time according to you that people are "young". And yes, it is YOU deciding to believe that people are old at 30. YOU are deciding who to listen to and what opinions to put stock in. You can find groups of people having any opinion on pretty much any topic if you go out looking for it.
As for the societal pressure, women have always been told they aren't good enough for a plethora of reasons. Here's something to think about: what happens to the beauty, diet, cosmetic surgery, anti aging, etc. industries if women aren't pressured to believe that at an age where they may have settled into having some expendable income, they suddenly have all sorts of "flaws" that need fixing?
However, the people you're talking about who make these videos and say these things are snobby and self important. Why are you trying to live up to the standards of people like that? Just because they think their opinions are important doesn't mean that they are. Why would you decide that these people who feel they are in a position to judge other peoples' merit based on age are the ones you should be working to impress or listening to?
So what if you look younger than your age? So what if you look your age? So what if you look older?
If you consider 30 "too old", then relative to how long people live now, there's only a very narrow window of time according to you that people are "young". And yes, it is YOU deciding to believe that people are old at 30. YOU are deciding who to listen to and what opinions to put stock in. You can find groups of people having any opinion on pretty much any topic if you go out looking for it.
As for the societal pressure, women have always been told they aren't good enough for a plethora of reasons. Here's something to think about: what happens to the beauty, diet, cosmetic surgery, anti aging, etc. industries if women aren't pressured to believe that at an age where they may have settled into having some expendable income, they suddenly have all sorts of "flaws" that need fixing?
Realizing that I was undeniably "of a certain age" was a tough pill to swallow. I was overcome with the feeling that I was somewhere between unattractive and fodder for jokes. I eventually realized that life wasn't over. My demographic is now young-at-heart, active middle-aged people. If it's about finding a mate, middle-aged people find mates too. If finding a mate seems hard, that's because it's hard for most everybody these days.
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ThankfulJen
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Camden
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I try to tell myself age is just a number and a state of mind.
I’m 28, and the big 30 is coming up fast which I’m not too thrilled about. On the other hand, I try to remind myself to avoid negative influences that peddle age stereotypes. I look back at college friends (18 - 22) and it makes me feel old.
One of my good friends is 32 and he’s doing great for his age. We have a lot in common and it helps me having a friend who’s a bit older to see it’s not so bad to age.
Focus on your support group and know that age is largely irrelevant regarding enjoying life.
I’m 28, and the big 30 is coming up fast which I’m not too thrilled about. On the other hand, I try to remind myself to avoid negative influences that peddle age stereotypes. I look back at college friends (18 - 22) and it makes me feel old.
One of my good friends is 32 and he’s doing great for his age. We have a lot in common and it helps me having a friend who’s a bit older to see it’s not so bad to age.
Focus on your support group and know that age is largely irrelevant regarding enjoying life.
Why do people act like 35 us middle age it’s not middle age isn’t till mid 40s. I don’t think it’s right for anyone to be made to feel just cause they aren’t in their 20s anymore that means their old I hate that if I feel like still young others don’t feel that way and it makes it like I’m crazy to feel young I hate that society makes it like 20s are everything then life sucks after. I hated teens and early 20s.
Cuchculan
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You don't feel old @Rana So you are not old. Ask anybody your own age what old is and they will look towards another age group. That is just how things work. Ask anybody your own age what too young is and they will look at those people who are saying your age group is old. Just because you reach a certain age, that does not mean you have to stop doing certain things. Continue on as you are.
chickentender
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Opinions on something like this can only make you feel bad if you give them weight. It's your choice whether you want to listen to stories of people who felt empowered and freed and STILL BEAUTIFUL as they aged or catty people who say negative things about people older than them.
@Cuchculan is right about how people of different ages view the point at which a person is old or young. I know a woman in her 90s who often remarks that certain things are for "old people" (as in old people, not herself!).
You're younger today than you will ever be again in your life and you're wasting time fretting over the inevitable. Everyone who is lucky enough grows older.
It may help to explore this in therapy since it's upsetting you to this degree.
Think of the older people in your life. Do you still love your older relatives? Do you think of them as beautiful people? What would you think of someone who started insulting one of your older loved ones based only on the fact that they looked to be a certain age? Wouldn't you think that person was a bad person?
You are going to keep aging. You are going to have to learn to ignore shallow nasty people rather than letting their opinions rule how you feel about yourself if you want to be happy. If you base your happiness on whether people who fetishize youth find you attractive on a skin deep level, you will continue to be increasingly unhappy.
@Cuchculan is right about how people of different ages view the point at which a person is old or young. I know a woman in her 90s who often remarks that certain things are for "old people" (as in old people, not herself!).
You're younger today than you will ever be again in your life and you're wasting time fretting over the inevitable. Everyone who is lucky enough grows older.
It may help to explore this in therapy since it's upsetting you to this degree.
Think of the older people in your life. Do you still love your older relatives? Do you think of them as beautiful people? What would you think of someone who started insulting one of your older loved ones based only on the fact that they looked to be a certain age? Wouldn't you think that person was a bad person?
You are going to keep aging. You are going to have to learn to ignore shallow nasty people rather than letting their opinions rule how you feel about yourself if you want to be happy. If you base your happiness on whether people who fetishize youth find you attractive on a skin deep level, you will continue to be increasingly unhappy.