Crisis of Confidence

[samv315]

Hi All,

I was diagnosed with GAD about 10 years ago. I've spent most of that time essentially in remission, speaking with my therapist only every 4 to 6 weeks. About 8 months ago, some new issues brought me out of remission. I think I've been handling the anxiety symptoms much better than I used to. What continues to plague me is what my therapist and I call a "crisis of confidence": I'll start to feel better, then something'll trigger my symptoms, and I'll ask myself, "Why am I still feeling this way after all this time? What's wrong with me? Am I ever going to get better?" This, naturally, makes me feel quite depressed. Is anyone else experiencing or has anyone else experienced a similar crisis of confidence? I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,
Sam

 

[janemariesayed]

Hi All,

I was diagnosed with GAD about 10 years ago. I've spent most of that time essentially in remission, speaking with my therapist only every 4 to 6 weeks. About 8 months ago, some new issues brought me out of remission. I think I've been handling the anxiety symptoms much better than I used to. What continues to plague me is what my therapist and I call a "crisis of confidence": I'll start to feel better, then something'll trigger my symptoms, and I'll ask myself, "Why am I still feeling this way after all this time? What's wrong with me? Am I ever going to get better?" This, naturally, makes me feel quite depressed. Is anyone else experiencing or has anyone else experienced a similar crisis of confidence? I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,
Sam

Lots of us on here suffer a crisis of confidence. It affects everything to do with your life. You have to be really strong and grin and bear it if you want any kind of normality. At least you do know that it is temporary. The feeling will pass. You are always welcome to come and chat on here.

 

[Kaynil]

Hi, Samv315. I can relate to that confidence crisis cycle. I think it just makes sense that when we have been living with acute anxiety for a long period of our lives even as we're crawling out we still fear being thrown back in. The more we taste progress the scarier it gets the idea of falling back. At least while you were there you were numb but with progress, you become more aware of how much it was wrapping your senses and if you can fall after climbing so much, well were you ever close to leave it in the first place? Will you ever be able to do way better than this? Many times it already feels like you're out, that is why when it hit us is so difficult. So we have to accept that we might not always make the best choices but we gotta keep moving forward as soon as we catch ourselves going back to bad habits.

In my case, it tends to come as impostor phenomenon where sometimes after something positive happens and get recognized I start feeling I don't deserve it and I somehow I must have twisted and manipulated the other people to think better of me than what I really am. For example I like drawing, so if I make an exceptionally good piece I want to show it to everyone but when they say how skilled I am I will feel like a fraud because I feel my other drawings are of inferior quality so using this one, the exception, to show what I can do is cheating.

So no matter what shape takes your self-doubt, you have to stop beating yourself up for every misstep. Don't think about what you should or shouldn't be in terms of progress, feelings, etc.
Let's recognise that those expectations we have about how much we should have progressed by now are made up by us. We all have our own time to heal and learn so it is better don't keep dwelling in our fear of it going nowhere. We are progressing, no matter how slow it feels. We are improving and we gotta keep on moving, one day at the time.

 

[Simon Blue]

I can absolutely relate to your crisis of confidence and have recently experienced my own. I suddenly had a work project that also highlighted, or rather, made me realize that there are lot of things I did not expect to find at this job of 4 moths that I started. And it triggered panic and anxiety at levels I'm not sure I've felt since I was first diagnosed with anxiety when I was a teenager (I'm 49). But beyond the specifics (and some valid) concerns I've had about the work/job, I honestly think my biggest challenge right now is all the fear I have just about being anxious. I too feel that lack of confidence, as if I'm "shrunk" as a person and feel like I'm afraid of my own shadow or something. All I can think of doing right now is to take it one day at a time and set myself up with the help I could use (i.e. going to see my therapist, consider adjusting meds) and bring myself to a more calm place so that I can make the best decision I can that is hopefully based on sound reasoning vs. just my anxious brain screaming loudly to get out of this damn job as soon as you can. So yes, I can totally relate to your crisis of confidence and with us both luck in moving forward.