Crippling health anxiety.

[BenAnxiety]

Hey guys, let me tell you my story..

I've suffered from anxiety for about 8 years (mainly intrusive thoughts) but I got control of it and it hasn't bothered me for a few years now, however..

Back in March I lost my job at a dog kennels which I had for 8 years, a very physical and active job which had me on my feet for 8-9 hours a day, and since losing it I've done nothing but sit around leading a sedentary lifestyle (on a computer for roughly 11 hours a day, no exercise and eating junk food all day)

Roughly 10 weeks ago I started to feel sporadic pain all over my upper body that would come and go at random, so I went to my GP as I was getting concerned. They ran extensive bloods on me (9 tubes of blood was taken from me in total!) And they came back all clear apart from my Iron/Folate which was a little low. As pleasing as this was to hear I started to wonder why I was in pain despite not hurting myself so I did the worst thing you can do and consulted Dr Google which told me I had several illnesses (No surprise there).

As I started to get more anxious, I started to develop a cough roughly 7 weeks ago, which again sent me back to google which told me I of course had lung cancer, the cough started to go however I still have a slight tickle in the back of my throat which the doctor is putting down to LPR (Silent Reflux).

So now we get to this weekend, I noticed I had a spot (or pimple) on the back of my neck so I started to feel around and just below where it was I felt a small lump, this sent me into a meltdown and I started to poke at it constantly for the next few hours. I spoke with my brother about it and he says its a lymph node and that I wouldn't of even noticed it had I not been so anxious and continually trying to find a lump on my body..

And then comes Monday, I feel the back of my neck and its now swollen and sore which has sky rocketed my anxiety, despite me knowing its probably swole up and gotten sore from me poking it none stop for hours.

I'm now sure my anxiety is playing tricks with me as every now and then I get pain in the exact same spot on the other side of my neck.


Health anxiety really sucks, my brother went through something similar a few years ago and summed it up perfectly when he says

"Its like you won't be happy until you find something wrong with you".

 

[suzzeeb]

Yeah that sums it up! I've had everything from MS, to a brain tumor and tons of other things. I always get so anxious and scared. I actually believe I have whatever I think I have and am kind of depressed during an episode because I'm thinking how sad my future is with this disease I have manufactured! And no one can convince me otherwise, unless there is a medical test that completely rules it out. It just usually has to run it's course. Years ago I made my doctor give me a CT scan of my head because I was convinced I had a tumor. As soon as the results came back normal my symptoms vanished almost immediately. It's harder when it can't be ruled out with a test. It really does suck!!

 

[BenAnxiety]

Yeah that sums it up! I've had everything from MS, to a brain tumor and tons of other things. I always get so anxious and scared. I actually believe I have whatever I think I have and am kind of depressed during an episode because I'm thinking how sad my future is with this disease I have manufactured! And no one can convince me otherwise, unless there is a medical test that completely rules it out. It just usually has to run it's course. Years ago I made my doctor give me a CT scan of my head because I was convinced I had a tumor. As soon as the results came back normal my symptoms vanished almost immediately. It's harder when it can't be ruled out with a test. It really does suck!!

My brother has been a cancer researcher for 8 years, and he keeps telling me that cancer doesn't cause pain that bounces from 1 place to another, he also has tells me that pain caused by cancer doesn't take a break and that it only gets worse (he goes into all the scientific details explaining how cancer works). I've diagnosed myself with Kidney, Bowel, Lung, Tongue, Neck and Bone cancer.

My anxiety has turned into a depression as I'm constantly sad that I'm going to die from horrible disease at the age of 28. I'm constantly checking my body for lumps and abnormalities which has caused tenderness in places on my body from continually poking myself and every time I feel a slight bit of pain in a part of my body it frightens me to death.

My GP refuses to refer me for any scans because hasn't a clue who he'd even send me to see as I just have sporadic pain all over, and its not set in 1 place. He also doesn't want to expose me to radiation for no reason (1 CT scan is the equivalent to about 500 x-rays).

 

[suzzeeb]

Maybe working with a therapist could help put things into perspective for you? The doctor I have now doesn't necessarily make me feel a whole lot better, but have started with a new therapist and hoping to get a better outlook. My GP now once told me its a waste of time to worry about health issues because 100% of his patients are going to die lol. I guess that's true. Just try to enjoy the time we have. We could be wasting many years - especially you at 28 - worrying about something that will never happen. Easier said than done. At your age I was doing the same thing and I'm 55 now, and never got MS or a brain tumor. If it does happen, it happens. I can't make it not happen by worrying about it, but I'm sure I still will. Hard habit to break.

 

[BenAnxiety]

Maybe working with a therapist could help put things into perspective for you? The doctor I have now doesn't necessarily make me feel a whole lot better, but have started with a new therapist and hoping to get a better outlook. My GP now once told me its a waste of time to worry about health issues because 100% of his patients are going to die lol. I guess that's true. Just try to enjoy the time we have. We could be wasting many years - especially you at 28 - worrying about something that will never happen. Easier said than done. At your age I was doing the same thing and I'm 55 now, and never got MS or a brain tumor. If it does happen, it happens. I can't make it not happen by worrying about it, but I'm sure I still will. Hard habit to break.

I have been referred to the mental health team as I've had enough of feeling like this. Everything points to me being sore because I've went from being in a physical job to being sedentary for 6 months straight, but my mind won't allow me to think that .

 

[suzzeeb]

I totally get that. I hope you resolve it very soon!!

 

[Winnie]

Health anxiety is the absolute pits, it consumes you . I went for my first mammogram yesterday, I am literally terrified I am going to get called back as they have found something abnoreal. I have gone through a bottle of rescue remedy in the last 2 days. Does anyone else feel like this?

 

[BenAnxiety]

Health anxiety is the absolute pits, it consumes you . I went for my first mammogram yesterday, I am literally terrified I am going to get called back as they have found something abnoreal. I have gone through a bottle of rescue remedy in the last 2 days. Does anyone else feel like this?

I know exactly how you feel, when I had 9 tubes of blood taken from me (2 of which were tumour markers) waiting around for results absolutely crippled me, I was in tears every single day up until I got the results. I sort of "graduated" from testicle/liver and germ cell cancer to other cancers when my bloods came back normal. I had more bloods taken yesterday and got the results today and they all came back in the normal range.

Anytime I start to feel a little more positive my anxiety convinces me that there is something seriously wrong and it ruins my mood for the rest of the day.

I still have sporadic pain all over my body and have yet to get any sort of answer, but it hasn't gotten any worse in the 10 weeks it's been going on.

I'm sure your results will come back all clear.

 

[Winnie]

I know exactly how you feel, when I had 9 tubes of blood taken from me (2 of which were tumour markers) waiting around for results absolutely crippled me, I was in tears every single day up until I got the results. I sort of "graduated" from testicle/liver and germ cell cancer to other cancers when my bloods came back normal. I had more bloods taken yesterday and got the results today and they all came back in the normal range.

Anytime I start to feel a little more positive my anxiety convinces me that there is something seriously wrong and it ruins my mood for the rest of the day.

I still have sporadic pain all over my body and have yet to get any sort of answer, but it hasn't gotten any worse in the 10 weeks it's been going on.

I'm sure your results will come back all clear.

Thanks for the reply Ben, it’s totally exhausting constantly worrying and scanning you body for lumps and bumps . Glad your results were normal.

 

[E.B]

My brother has been a cancer researcher for 8 years, and he keeps telling me that cancer doesn't cause pain that bounces from 1 place to another, he also has tells me that pain caused by cancer doesn't take a break and that it only gets worse (he goes into all the scientific details explaining how cancer works). I've diagnosed myself with Kidney, Bowel, Lung, Tongue, Neck and Bone cancer.

My anxiety has turned into a depression as I'm constantly sad that I'm going to die from horrible disease at the age of 28. I'm constantly checking my body for lumps and abnormalities which has caused tenderness in places on my body from continually poking myself and every time I feel a slight bit of pain in a part of my body it frightens me to death.

My GP refuses to refer me for any scans because hasn't a clue who he'd even send me to see as I just have sporadic pain all over, and its not set in 1 place. He also doesn't want to expose me to radiation for no reason (1 CT scan is the equivalent to about 500 x-rays).

Sometimes i envy those who go to the doc and get answers! You have docs and a cancer researcher telling you you are fine! I don't go to the docs out of fear....try to find relief by knowing what they have told you.

 

[BenAnxiety]

Sometimes i envy those who go to the doc and get answers! You have docs and a cancer researcher telling you you are fine! I don't go to the docs out of fear....try to find relief by knowing what they have told you.

I can't imagine how hard it is to not want to go to a doctor out of fear, I'm the opposite, I've phoned them roughly 50 times in the last 2 months and no matter what anyone tells me my anxiety does not allow me to believe it. There is days when my pain is worse and my mind goes to the dark place that I've got cancer that is advancing.

Thanks for the reply Ben, it’s totally exhausting constantly worrying and scanning you body for lumps and bumps . Glad your results were normal.

Yeah I'm mentally exhausted from always being anxious. I've bruised myself several times from poking areas on my body which to me don't feel normal, but I'm told otherwise by professionals and I wish my mind would just allow me to accept that.

 

[H.J.J.C.]

I realize that generalizations always have exceptions, but I think those of us with HA have an exaggerated need for certainty. Unfortunately, for us, the world is far from certain. We are easily overwhelmed by uncertainty and so we search for that "certain diagnosis" which we assume, of course, will be the worst possible one. I could have written any of the above entries. I can get instantaneous symptoms just by reading an article about some illness or even watching a drug commercial on TV. The only thing I know I'm not is pregnant (74 and male). Despite reassurances from my doctor who happens to be Phi Beta Kappa, I'm sure he's missing something and he has been for years. I have tried talk therapy and expressed my constant HA and depression. Her response was, "Do you want to continue to live like that?" I don't, of course, but I have yet been able to find a tactic to reduce or eliminate this fixation on my health. Like many of you, I am weary.

 

[FlipperK]

I realize that generalizations always have exceptions, but I think those of us with HA have an exaggerated need for certainty. Unfortunately, for us, the world is far from certain. We are easily overwhelmed by uncertainty and so we search for that "certain diagnosis" which we assume, of course, will be the worst possible one. I could have written any of the above entries. I can get instantaneous symptoms just by reading an article about some illness or even watching a drug commercial on TV. The only thing I know I'm not is pregnant (74 and male). Despite reassurances from my doctor who happens to be Phi Beta Kappa, I'm sure he's missing something and he has been for years. I have tried talk therapy and expressed my constant HA and depression. Her response was, "Do you want to continue to live like that?" I don't, of course, but I have yet been able to find a tactic to reduce or eliminate this fixation on my health. Like many of you, I am weary.

Lol, I love how you put your age in their next to male as if that makes it more impossible .

 

[BenAnxiety]

Does anyone else get periods of tiredness throughout the day despite sleeping for at least 8 hours? It seems to happen during the afternoon for me.

 

[Winnie]

Does anyone else get periods of tiredness throughout the day despite sleeping for at least 8 hours? It seems to happen during the afternoon for me.

Yes, especially after I’ve eaten lunch. try having a walk in the fresh air it normally wakes me up .

 

[BenAnxiety]

So tonight I've had that feeling like something is stuck in my throat and I keep getting pain in both of my sides (rib area).

Everyone keeps telling me I'm fine, but at 28 I shouldn't be getting these pains that jump around my body, My anxiety has me convinced something is seriously wrong with me, however I keep trying to tell myself that pain caused by cancer doesn't just go away and come back in a different area of the body.

I'm so hypersensitive to all the pain which is probably making it feel a whole lot worse than it actually is.

My doctor did mention fibromyalgia, but has yet to send me to see a Rheumatologist or someone who specialises in that area.

Tired of being frightened

 

[BenAnxiety]

The last couple of days have been terrible.

I've never had any breathing or palpitations when it came to my anxiety but this seems to have started on Saturday and its freaking me out. I'm not wheezing or struggling to breath as such, but it just feels like its a little harder to breath at times. It comes and goes which would tell me that its anxiety and not something wrong with my heart or lungs (I hope!). Anyone else get these symptoms with anxiety and can tell me what theirs is like?

I'm so paranoid

 

[alwaysworried]

The last couple of days have been terrible.

I've never had any breathing or palpitations when it came to my anxiety but this seems to have started on Saturday and its freaking me out. I'm not wheezing or struggling to breath as such, but it just feels like its a little harder to breath at times. It comes and goes which would tell me that its anxiety and not something wrong with my heart or lungs (I hope!). Anyone else get these symptoms with anxiety and can tell me what theirs is like?

I'm so paranoid

Feeling short of breath is a very common symptom of anxiety. If it were a problem with your heart or lungs (highly unlikely at 28!), you'd notice it constantly or it would worsen with exercise. Heck, even with anxiety you can feel it constantly. Breathing/heart symptoms are the worst for me, they always make me panic and wonder whether it's my anxiety or if there's something wrong with me. For me, I sometimes get the same sensation you described where it feels harder than usual to breathe, even though I'm able to take a deep breath when I concentrate...comes and goes as yours did. I do have asthma, but these episodes feel much different for me because I'm capable of taking in a big deep breath...whereas when I have an asthma attack it feels like my lung capacity is diminished and I physically cannot take in as much air. I've been to the cardiologist (for some other symptoms I was having) and they didn't find anything wrong.

Of course, if it continues and you're worried I would suggest getting checked out by a doctor for your own peace of mind and to rule out any other issues....but rest assured, shortness of breath/feeling like it's harder to breathe or that your breathing doesn't feel "right" is very very common with anxiety! From the reading the rest of this thread it seems like you're going through a rough patch with your anxiety, and it's not uncommon for "new" symptoms to suddenly appear (though I'm sure you already know that!). Hope you start to feel better soon....

 

[BenAnxiety]

Feeling short of breath is a very common symptom of anxiety. If it were a problem with your heart or lungs (highly unlikely at 28!), you'd notice it constantly or it would worsen with exercise. Heck, even with anxiety you can feel it constantly. Breathing/heart symptoms are the worst for me, they always make me panic and wonder whether it's my anxiety or if there's something wrong with me. For me, I sometimes get the same sensation you described where it feels harder than usual to breathe, even though I'm able to take a deep breath when I concentrate...comes and goes as yours did. I do have asthma, but these episodes feel much different for me because I'm capable of taking in a big deep breath...whereas when I have an asthma attack it feels like my lung capacity is diminished and I physically cannot take in as much air. I've been to the cardiologist (for some other symptoms I was having) and they didn't find anything wrong.

Of course, if it continues and you're worried I would suggest getting checked out by a doctor for your own peace of mind and to rule out any other issues....but rest assured, shortness of breath/feeling like it's harder to breathe or that your breathing doesn't feel "right" is very very common with anxiety! From the reading the rest of this thread it seems like you're going through a rough patch with your anxiety, and it's not uncommon for "new" symptoms to suddenly appear (though I'm sure you already know that!). Hope you start to feel better soon....

Thanks for the reply

I've just signed up to a gym tonight and I'm also going to try and complete the couch to 5k challenge. Been sitting about doing nothing but constantly thinking about symptoms which is making this a hundred times worse and they do say exercise is the best thing for anxiety.

 

[alwaysworried]

Thanks for the reply

I've just signed up to a gym tonight and I'm also going to try and complete the couch to 5k challenge. Been sitting about doing nothing but constantly thinking about symptoms which is making this a hundred times worse and they do say exercise is the best thing for anxiety.

It's funny that you say that, I was actually thinking about doing couch to 5k myself! I get anxious sometimes when exercising, but I also get anxious when I know I haven't been exercising (makes me more worried about my health) - so I was looking for something goal-oriented that will let me start small and work my way up! I don't know if I will the couch to 5k program yet, but I am definitely trying to incorporate more exercise into my routine as well. I used to love exercising, so I'm hoping I can find my way back to that state and hopefully it will help with the anxiety too! I think it also helps me when I'm anxious to think back about a workout or something I did earlier to kind of say "hey, I managed to do that, my body is working fine and I'm staying healthy"....so I'm hopeful that more exercise will help me as well. Best of luck to you!!