Convinced I'm schizophrenic/having sleep paralysis/hypnagogic hallucinations. Help!

[jlh]

Hi. I’m 27 years old. I’ve had anxiety my entire life, but not like this. About 3 weeks ago, I had extremely severe episode of sleep paralysis, which I’d had before, but not with any hallucinations. I saw a figure and heard my ex’s voice. I can’t tell if I was actually dreaming or if I had my eyes open and hallucinating. It gave me such extreme anxiety that I was afraid to sleep the next night.
The next night, I didn’t have sleep paralysis, but when I woke up, I saw a small bit of writing on the wall that disappeared after I blinked twice. To be clear, I was fully aware that these were not real and had no meaning. My anxiety level shot through the roof and I sobbed my eyes out convinced I’d lost it.
All that said, I was absolutely terrified and began to think that I have schizophrenia. For the past few weeks, I have not had anything like that again, but I have developed a phobia that I am coming down with schizophrenia. I am hyper aware of sounds thinking I could start to hallucinate at any moment. I am hyper analyzing my own thoughts to see if I hear any voices in my head. My ears have been ringing and my ears feel full.
Yesterday, while the AC was running, it almost sounded like I could hear someone whispering, even though I know it’s not real and I’m not sure if I really heard it, or if my anxious brain is just looking for things. My dreams have been intense, my mind has been racing, and I’ve broken down in tears multiple times convinced that I am prodromal (I have researched and googled frantically every day convincing myself that I am schizophrenic, so I know all the terms).
I have not actually seen anything or heard any clear voices during the day. It only happened those few times while I was half asleep or dreaming. But, I am literally shaking while writing this right now because I have convinced myself that I am losing it, even though I’m fully lucid, know what’s real and what’s not, have ZERO paranoia or delusions (except that I’m schizo lol) and still am going to work/functioning…but just constantly silently panicking and almost looking for proof. I dont know why this is happening.
HELP ME. I see a psychiatrist Wednesday, but what if I’m too early in the prodromal stages for them to diagnose me? I desperately need peace of mind.

 

[riley coach]

hI, i am by NO means an expert... But i did take a very in depth class about mentall illness in nursing school. I also spent have of that semester as a nursing student in a psych ward. I am saying this because I'm trying to establish that I have some credibility... i definitely know the hallmark symptoms of schizophrenia and how the classic schizohrenic acts. I want to start off by saying that schizophrenia is not the end all be all of the disease... what I mean is that there are several illnesses that show schizohrenic like symptoms, but they are not schizophrenia.. These are delusional disorder, schizophreniform, schizotypal etc.... You should look those up!!! Also, a big thing with schizophrenia that most people don't know about is behavior. They typically act withdrawn. It is hard for them to focus and friends and family pick up on it. Also, anxiety CAN TOTALLY MAKE YOU HEAR AND SEE THINGS. It sounds like your anxiety is bubbling over in waves! One time I was out for a jog alone, in an unfamiliar area out in the country and a car passed me. The car turned around (complete 180) after it hit about 25 yards away and started in my direction. immediately, every forensic file case started rushing into my mind (girls being kidnapped and raped in the middle of nowhere etc.). I started at a full out sprint for my car, which was a football field away. i heard loud and clear a chorus that sounded like my boyfriend's voice "run Riley, RILEY, run hurry!" Eventually teh car slowed down and it was just a family asking me if i was okay.. so nothing serious. But now what was scaring me was the voices that I had heard. i walked to the little country gym which was where my bf was and I aksed him if he had been out side earlier, yelling at me and he looked at me like I was crazy.... My mind has just made the voices.... basically your body can do some crazy things in the presence of stress and anxiety. Also, I have totally heard and seen things while falling asleep or while waking up. It never fails TO SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME... but it can simply be explained through science.. you brain is still functioning, but your body is asleep. so sometimes dreams and reality mix.. don't let this scare you. One time I swore I heard "give me a sign" while i was sleeping. ive seen a cat, a cartoon snake wrapped around my legs, ive heard my door creak open and shut, Ive heard my door handle shake... i was scared at the time.. but its just my sleepy brain playing tricks on me.. Dont sweat it. Go to your psychiatrist just so you can get some piece of mind about your situation.. Also, sleep paralysis is really scary and super debilitating.. but there are a lot of people that suffer from it- you are not alone and it is not known to be pathological. Try to relax. practice good sleep hygiene techniques and maybe try to have a friend come over to spend the night with you

 

[riley coach]

Also, I want to add that i have a friend that becomes delusional and has hallucinations when she gets depressed. This ONLY happens when she is depressed. its a rare form of a segment of schizophrenia, but she doesnt have schizophrenia or anything like that because it goes away when her depression is treated. Maybe depression or anxiety are casuing these things.