Cant take it anymore at my end

[Kari7495]

This is so frustrating I cant even explain it. I'm going to check myself into the hospital there is something wrong with me. I go to therapy, take my meds. I mean what else is there at this point ?

I have severe chest pains, and I'm exhausted. My back hurts and I cant breathe. I'm 24. I desperately want to live but it's like my mind does not want me to be happy. I'm so broken at this point. I have two kids I want to be with but my brain hates me. There is no recovery of this. My brain is so congested and I'm just so sick . I feel like throwing up. Everything in my life is awesome. Great kids, great husband, financially stable. I dont get it. What is my life missing that incant be happy anymore.

Im scared to walk in my son's school and I'm afraid I'll just die there and my kids will see. I post all the time here just trying to figure things out but I'm running in circles and nothing is working. I had a great morning. No panic no anxiety besides minor. And then boom your having a heart attack .

 

[Cuchculan]

Boom. You are having a health anxiety attack, not a heart attack. Life can be very hard at times. When we are down, it seems life nothing wants to go right for us. Like everything we do just goes wrong. I am sure you have had some good days in the past? But when you are down it is hard to even remember those good days. You are having one good day and your mind is fully aware of all the bad days you ever had. It is the mind. How it all works. With mental illness it is like we have taught ourselves how we are suppose to be. All this negative stuff. We feel a pain, we must think this way. We must react this way. They are just like habits we have programmed the mind with. So much so that we forget how to live in what still is a normal world. To try and fix what we have taught our minds to do / believe is a very hard thing. Like been a new born baby and learning from the start all over again. The mind has to be reset. It seeks out danger everywhere you go. Even if there is no real danger there. It will find something. Because it is programmed to look for it. Any little thing will do. That is the way we know how to live. Not how we want to live. We want to enjoy life. Have fun. Do things we see other people doing. But we have built like this huge wall that stops us from doing that. It is this wall we have to learn to tear down. Once down we have to learn how to keep it down. Not allow to build back up again. We have to learn that we see as danger is not danger at all. It is normal. If we view it as normal the mind won't fear it. Every little ache and pain does not have to be something serious. But as of now the mind sees it that way. It has learned this over the years. If it didn't see it as serious there would be no problem at all. Again it all about learning from the start again. Wiping away everything the mind knows and feeding new information. We could have been teaching the mind this stuff for years. It won't just stop over night. Not in a week. It does take time. During that time we will have setbacks. Times when things will be so hard we want to just to curl up and give up. But that is not who we are. We are also born fighters. Life has something to offer us all. Focus on that something. Far from easy. But worth the fight.

 

[ladybj]

This is so frustrating I cant even explain it. I'm going to check myself into the hospital there is something wrong with me. I go to therapy, take my meds. I mean what else is there at this point ?

I have severe chest pains, and I'm exhausted. My back hurts and I cant breathe. I'm 24. I desperately want to live but it's like my mind does not want me to be happy. I'm so broken at this point. I have two kids I want to be with but my brain hates me. There is no recovery of this. My brain is so congested and I'm just so sick . I feel like throwing up. Everything in my life is awesome. Great kids, great husband, financially stable. I dont get it. What is my life missing that incant be happy anymore.

Im scared to walk in my son's school and I'm afraid I'll just die there and my kids will see. I post all the time here just trying to figure things out but I'm running in circles and nothing is working. I had a great morning. No panic no anxiety besides minor. And then boom your having a heart attack .

Years ago I was where you are...I was thinking of asking my husband to check me into a hospital. I saw numerous doctors but all they could do was offer me meds which I knew was not the answer for me. Long story short, I was stressed out which included panic attacks and anxiety.. it was pretty bad. I was not in a good place in my life due to personal issues. But I can say today, I feel much better...but all the stress and anxiety in the past left my body in a tensed stated. I stay tensed up a lot but its better than what I was going through years ago. I know this will be easier said than done but start telling yourself that you are ok... you are going to have a good day today, you will feel good today, feed your mind positive talk. This will not be an overnight improvement but eventually you will get there. The mind is so powerful, it will deliver what we feed it. I am speaking from personal experience.

 

[matisworried]

I've been in your shoes! there have been many times I've been on the verge of checking myself in. if that is what you need to get better, don't be afraid to do it. there is no shame in it just like there isn't shame in being hospitalized for a heart attack. reach out to the ones around you. people care and will help if you need it.

you are going to be fine. please remember that. things will get better!

 

[ladybj]

Boom. You are having a health anxiety attack, not a heart attack. Life can be very hard at times. When we are down, it seems life nothing wants to go right for us. Like everything we do just goes wrong. I am sure you have had some good days in the past? But when you are down it is hard to even remember those good days. You are having one good day and your mind is fully aware of all the bad days you ever had. It is the mind. How it all works. With mental illness it is like we have taught ourselves how we are suppose to be. All this negative stuff. We feel a pain, we must think this way. We must react this way. They are just like habits we have programmed the mind with. So much so that we forget how to live in what still is a normal world. To try and fix what we have taught our minds to do / believe is a very hard thing. Like been a new born baby and learning from the start all over again. The mind has to be reset. It seeks out danger everywhere you go. Even if there is no real danger there. It will find something. Because it is programmed to look for it. Any little thing will do. That is the way we know how to live. Not how we want to live. We want to enjoy life. Have fun. Do things we see other people doing. But we have built like this huge wall that stops us from doing that. It is this wall we have to learn to tear down. Once down we have to learn how to keep it down. Not allow to build back up again. We have to learn that we see as danger is not danger at all. It is normal. If we view it as normal the mind won't fear it. Every little ache and pain does not have to be something serious. But as of now the mind sees it that way. It has learned this over the years. If it didn't see it as serious there would be no problem at all. Again it all about learning from the start again. Wiping away everything the mind knows and feeding new information. We could have been teaching the mind this stuff for years. It won't just stop over night. Not in a week. It does take time. During that time we will have setbacks. Times when things will be so hard we want to just to curl up and give up. But that is not who we are. We are also born fighters. Life has something to offer us all. Focus on that something. Far from easy. But worth the fight.

I agree..it definitely takes time to change our thinking pattern. It took years for me to learn to cope with Anxiety and I am still a work in progress. But so much better than I was years ago.