Can't Sleep

[NightOwl]

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping for the last week. After spending two weeks back home in California with family and my boyfriend, I came back to Oregon feeling a lot of anxiety about being alone. I don't really feel any anxiety during the day or at night, but when I try to fall asleep I start to get a lot of anxiety and panic. It doesn't help that my finals are this week and so I'm extra concerned about making sure I get enough sleep to be able to focus and study to make good grades. I quit my job and went back to school full time in my mid 30's so I feel like a lot is riding on me doing well in school. I don't want to let anyone down or fail again. I have a math final tomorrow that I'm not as well prepared for as I should be and it's been hard to get to sleep even though I am exhausted.

I took .5 of ativan as well as 10mg of atarax as that finally helped me calm down enough to fall asleep at 3am last night. Maybe it will become easier to sleep once finals are over, but I don't want to have to keep relying on drugs to fall asleep especially ativan as I know they can become really addicting. This is my first time taking it outside of the couple of times they gave it to me at the ER. My boyfriend is supposed to be in Oregon next Wednesday, but I'm really tempted to just buy a ticket and fly back to California tomorrow after my final to ease my anxiety. I have no anxiety when my boyfriend is around or have any anxiety staying with family.

I know my anxiety is related to my childhood trauma, and I've going to therapy and trying to work on it, but it's really hard and so scary sometimes especially on my own. I'm not sure what else I can do.

 

[Howlingvapor]

Try some guided sleep meditation tracks. You can find them on YouTube. That usually helps me to fall asleep when I’m stressed like that. The most important thing to remember though is that nothing will keep you awake more then trying to force yourself to fall asleep. If you’re constantly thinking about how important it is to fall asleep tonight you’ll just get more and more anxious about why you haven’t fallen asleep yet which keeps you awake. It’s a viscous cycle I’ve been in far too many times to count. Guided sleep meditation works to counteract that. It sort of forces you to turn your focus towards yourself and the present rather than focus on the future and what is to come. Finals are tough for sure especially on anxiety. I have them as well this week, plus work and Christmas shopping and a doctors appointment and god knows what else might pop up, but I find that drawing your focus to the present moment through meditation can help a lot. It takes practice for sure, but that’s why I recommend starting with guided meditation first because if nothing else you at least have a soothing voice and some ambient nature sounds to help lull you to sleep.

I definitely relate to your post, sleeping has always been a struggle for me. Because it’s the only time you can’t distract yourself with other things. So I have a tendency to dwell on my anxieties and past traumas when I’m trying to fall asleep and it’s very difficult, but hopefully my advice helps you, because god knows it helped me.


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[NightOwl]

Hi, yes, I've tried body scan meditation a couple of times with success, but it just wasn't working tonight. I think I'm not going to force it and then try again in another hour or so. Thank you for the advice!

 

[Howlingvapor]

You’re welcome! As an insomniac myself I love responding to these late night posts, because when I first came to the forum my biggest stressors would come late at night and it can feel lonely when you’re needing support and no one else is awake. You might also try melatonin, it’s a sleeping supplement. It’s non addictive and can be bought over the counter, it’s basically the chemical your brain produces to induce sleep. The only downside is that sometimes it can make you feel more groggy in the morning. But yeah if prescription sleep aids aren’t something you want to get tangled in melatonin or magnesium supplements work great. I can vouch for melatonin at least, but my parents swear up and down magnesium works better.

Anyway from one insomniac to another, I hope what I’ve said helps. Goodnight!


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[deenman]

I just started using CBD and found it helps me get very relaxed for sleep and more importantly perhaps it helps me stay asleep for eight hours. Pot always worked that way with me too, but CBD seems no different.