Can't eat in front of people

[Guest]

Hi guys, I am new hear and am not so sure if this is the right board to write and ask about it.


I can't eat in front of other people, especially in public. It is really hard for me even to eat in front of friends.


I always have the feeling that people judge me for eating anything. When I eat junk food, I think they think that I should not allowed to eat it. When I eat salat or any fruty healthy stuff, I have the feeling that they think that I kid myself and just eat it now and later eat my junk food. I don't know I can't explain, it I just feel all those judgemental looks ony skin and I just want to hide.


With friends it's a bit better, but I still get the feeling that my friends judge me or people think that my friends are only in my company because they feel sorry for that fat little girl.


I don't know please help.

 

[AliciaH]

Why would people judge you for eating junk food? I don't know what to tell you other than, just eat it. Take small steps, eat small meals out in public. Don't look around at people, just eat. Go with someone and carry on a conversation with them, it might help distract you.

 

[MorningStar]

It sounds to me that you may possibly be having an eating disorder; being overly-conscious of eating in front of others is a classic symptom. There are other possible give-aways in your post, as well. I recommend seeking advice from a professional.

 

[Alex]

It seems you have self- esteem issues and it happens to many of us. The fact is you have to eat, and sometimes it will be in front of people. You seem paranoid that people are staring at you and looking at you, when most are likely to be interested in their food and not how you look. You can do it, I think you need to stop thinking and enjoy the food and talk to people when you eat and people will focus on what you are saying and the conversation.


People only take notice of those with bad manners at the table, and as long as you don't fall into that category, most people won't even look at you.

 

[pwarbi]

Not wanting to eat in public is actually quite common for a lot of people and while I wouldn't go as far as to say it's nothing to worry about, I certainly wouldn't think that I'm on the slippery slope to mental illness because of it. There are many different reasons why people don't like to eat in public, from not trusting the way the food is prepared or the server, to feeling self concious about the fact people are watching you while you're eating and judging what you've bought. Getting to the bottom of just why you are afraid to eat out will then be able to put you on the path of combating it.


If you're scared of people watching you while you're eating, then just go and sit in a Starbucks with a coffee for a while and people watch. Watch what they do and how many of them are actually taking notice of the other people around them and you'll find that nobody is concerned with what anybody else is doing. Go to that same Starbucks daily and sit in your regular spot with your usual coffee. Build up that confidence and when you're ready, one day instead of just buying a coffee, buy something to eat as well.


By then you'll have already established that nobody is taking notice of anybody else, and you'll be confident enough to at least try and eat as you'll be in your familiar spot so won't feel a self-concious. This is just an example of something you can try and do to help your situation but it just shows that all is not lost, you're not the only one that's suffering and there ARE ways to deal with it.

 

[joshposh]

I use to go out and eat a lot and from what my friends tell me, I eat really fast. Some people are taken back by it and are amazed. I don't think I'm a messy pig, but I put down a lot of food in record time. I don't really think about it around people I know, but I do think those new to my presence will stop and stare. People will judge you no matter what. If this affecting you, then maybe you should eat alone or at home more often. Some people won't change, and if that's their prerogative, then I think you should do the same. Just be yourself, and be happy.

 

[amy88]

It sounds to me that you may possibly be having an eating disorder; being overly-conscious of eating in front of others is a classic symptom. There are other possible give-aways in your post' date=' as well. I recommend seeking advice from a professional.[/quote']
I don't think it's anything to do with an eating disorder - I too hate eating in front of people, and it's anxiety based - nothing to do with not wanting to eat, more out of a fear of feeling like I'll look stupid.


I get anxious in situations where someone else has prepared a meal and I'm not sure if I will like it (I can be a fussy eater).


I get anxious when I'm in a formal eating situation (fancy dinners and so forth) - will I grab the right fork/knife? Will my eating etiquette look polite enough?


Will I get something caught in my teeth? Will anyone tell me, or will I look stupid and only realize when I get home?!


Will I eat too much that people think I'm piggish/gluttony? Will I eat too little that people think I don't like the food?


Those things have zero to do with an eating disorder and everything to do with anxiety.

 

[Alex]

Some of these things people get through life, such as food stuck in their teeth, or if you don't like the food. It's not unusual, but it seems more about confidence from what you say. From your post it looks like you care too much about what others may think and judge. Really, not many people will at all.


What's the worst case scenario? If you drop your fork, or the filling falls out of a sandwich? It happens to billions of people on a daily basis and life carries on. I know it's hard not to feel anxious, but eating is normal and no one judges unless you are a rude and greedy eater. Just take small bites and don't talk when you eat and you will get there.

 

[SirJoe]

Being conscious of your self can really be a real problem. My best advice is to look for some professional help. They will teach you techniques that will help you get over this or at least be able to deal with situations you might find complicated.

 

[beautifullybree]

I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like people judge us for every little thing. I don't even like ordering at restaurants. It feels like if you are over weight people think you eat too much. When you probably eat the same amount as them, but with a slower metabolism. I never understand "fat shaming".

 

[hades_leae]

I had a friend in high school who had this really bad, he would get really pissed when people would watch him. If he even saw you glance at him, even if you were just looking around, he would yell at you and ask what you were looking at.


I used to tell him that he doesn't always need to assume that people are talking about him because no one really cares. I don't think you should care what they think about you, I used to be nervous to eat in front of others as well.

 

[ProNine]

I have a similar feeling that in the lunch room, whenever I get up to put more, I'm being watched and judged for eating too much, despite our day being quite long with the lunch being at 11 AM and other refilling as well. That made me not want to put more food on many days even though I was somewhat hungry. Another problem was that I was worried that others will watch me eat and judge me for how I am eating, despite it being quite normal. This made it especially difficult when eating spaghetti, just to be specific. xD

 

[Amcrazygirl32]

It could have something to do with an eating disorder but not necessarily. You have issues with eating in front of people for a reason, though. I would start there, to be honest with you. If you can figure out what causes it to happen then maybe you can figure out steps to cope or get over it. I have issues with eating in front of people but it is solely because of my Anorexia.

 

[mauricioq]

You need to think about this: everyone eats. You're not doing anything exclusive, people are definitely not going to judge you while you eat. If you're doing and eating what you want, what's more important than that? it's all in your head, you too see people easting and I'm sure you won't overthink about it.