Can't act normal around someone you have a crush on.....

[Natasha0717]

It's true, I have never been able to do it.

I am just fine when I walk into gas stations, stores, restaurants, and can shoot the breeze with just about anyone (as long as I don't care too much about them) .... but when you see that one person that you like a lot, maybe you've liked them for years....and for some goofy reason, YOU JUST CAN'T BE YOURSELF. You try so hard to say everything right, that everything comes out wrong. It's so embarrassing, and what's even worse, you get so angry at yourself because you know how well you do talking to everyone else, but then you act like a total fool when you try to talk to that one person that really matters. And then you panic because you realize that you need to get out of there before you really start saying anything even more stupid. I actually get "jelly legs" as I walk away...it feels as if my legs are weak and made of jelly, or jello.

Has this ever happened to you? How the heck can you relax around someone you have a total crush on? And no.... practice doesn't help. I just seem to do worse and worse the more I try and talk to them. ha ha

 

[Concernedgal]

Try to write them a letter. You can say how you feel and not worry about the anxiety that comes along with it. I know this sounds like a no Brainer but, it really works. When i was a teenager experienced the same thing. Keep in mind though I grew up in a different generation. I just know that it worked for me. It worth a try.

 

[TheKnight]

Man, that's tough. Even when I tell myself I'll try to ignore them, my body tenses up and I act like a fool. What does help a lot is if I close my eyes and think about my favorite songs while tapping my hands or my shoes on the floor. I sometimes even try to imagine them as ugly as possible while not looking at them. I always try thinking to myself ''They probably look like Shrek and I was under a spell.'' Don't look at them just talk to them if you have to and don't make eye contact. Eye contact makes everything worse. When you start talking to them while looking away, you'll start to relax more and you'll be able to finally look at them and be relaxed

 

[janemariesayed]

Why not ask them out! If you are shy with that, arrange a group outing and then get chatting with them about the weather or anything, and then invite them along! I think the only way over something is to throw yourself headlong into it. If you like someone, and then get into a partnership with them, the jello legs soon start to stabilize as you get used to each other.

 

[fuzyon]

With age I think stuff like this dims down, I'm in my mid-twenties and whenever I feel attracted to someone I'm not as clumsy as I used to be when I was a teenager. Of course, the awkwardness is still there and I have a hard time speaking sometimes, but once you click with that person things kind of seem to fall in place by themselves. I guess it's because adults know what they want in life and if they feel attracted to someone they're not going to beat around the bush for long.

 

[tyche]

How old are you? I agree with Fuzyon, I was like a statue when my crush was around. I felt stoic and sort of paralyzed, the exact opposite of my natural gregarious self, but that was when I was a teen and up to my mid-20's. I can't even manage the courage to talk to my crush on the phone! I felt that way with only one person though. But when I turned 27, I suddenly acquired the courage to talk to my crush. Finally, the awkward stage has ended. So I think that as you get older, your shyness will eventually fade.

 

[Holmes22]

Oh man, this is definitely me. I turn back into that school aged boy and I get all red and nervous. The good news though, is that you can kind of tell when the other person is the same way, and I know that I met my wife that way so it is all good.

 

[Natasha0717]

Man, that's tough. Even when I tell myself I'll try to ignore them, my body tenses up and I act like a fool. What does help a lot is if I close my eyes and think about my favorite songs while tapping my hands or my shoes on the floor. I sometimes even try to imagine them as ugly as possible while not looking at them. I always try thinking to myself ''They probably look like Shrek and I was under a spell.'' Don't look at them just talk to them if you have to and don't make eye contact. Eye contact makes everything worse. When you start talking to them while looking away, you'll start to relax more and you'll be able to finally look at them and be relaxed

I know what you mean, it certainly would make things a lot easier. But the only problem with that is, (I study and read a lot about body language)....when a person talks to you but doesn't make eye contact and keeps looking away, it's usually a sign that they are not interested. So that might send out the wrong signal. We just can't win, can we!

 

[Natasha0717]

How old are you? I agree with Fuzyon, I was like a statue when my crush was around. I felt stoic and sort of paralyzed, the exact opposite of my natural gregarious self, but that was when I was a teen and up to my mid-20's. I can't even manage the courage to talk to my crush on the phone! I felt that way with only one person though. But when I turned 27, I suddenly acquired the courage to talk to my crush. Finally, the awkward stage has ended. So I think that as you get older, your shyness will eventually fade.

I'm old enough to have enough experience when talking to guys I like....but when there's that ONE guy, and for some reason, I seem to fall for guys that are even more shy than me, it's almost like a "shy show-down." I don't know who does worse, me or him. Sometimes we end up just staring at each other, speechless. Like a staring contest that never ends, and nobody wins. OMG, it's awful. That's part of the problem, I need to learn to be attracted to more outgoing, talkative guys, which would make my job a whole lot easier. But those shy guys, they just always seem to hold a special place in my heart.

 

[Siphonophorae]

My crush and I have two classes together and have similar interests so you’d think I can go up to him and at least say “hi” right?! But no... and it’s not like we’ve never gone anywhere together (though not privately on a date or anything)... so I should know him. But it always feels super awkward whenever I try to find something to say .

Why not ask them out! If you are shy with that, arrange a group outing and then get chatting with them about the weather or anything, and then invite them along! I think the only way over something is to throw yourself headlong into it. If you like someone, and then get into a partnership with them, the jello legs soon start to stabilize as you get used to each other.

It’s a good idea in theory but is it possible to arrange it without it being awkward and extremely public? I’m a shy person, I would have trouble with that. Seems like a good idea though.