Brain tumor fears

[mollyfin]

For a while now (a month or two maybe?), I've been having trouble finding words. I'll forget the name of someone I was literally just talking to. It takes me ages to think of a word when I'm talking/thinking. I can't keep a train of thought going. What really freaked me out was forgetting what year it was. I was PRETTY SURE it was 2026. But wait did it actually just turn 2025??? (Checked my phone for that one.)

I used to have a very reactive personality - it was very easy to pick a fight with me. Now I just...don't care. I get random bouts of anxiety for now reason (I mean now it's probably because I'm worried I have a brain tumor, but before then, anyway.) Everything that I used to love bores me. I'm being treated for depression and have been since I was a young teen. No medication changes recently.

I've been having what I thought was BPPV since last year - I get that from time to time but this time it's not going away. I've also been getting headaches that linger most of the day. I'm fine when I get up or when I'm still in bed, but it doesn't take long for my neck to get stiff and my head to start hurting.

I'm a few months shy of turning 43, so entering prime brain cancer years. I understand that it's something like less than one in 150 odds of getting brain cancer period and a bit lower at my age, but...someone still has to be the one.

Part of me just wants to ask for an MRI but the bigger part of me is too afraid to. I have to see my GP anyway so I'll ask him what he thinks.

 

[Chrissyjo]

Hello I also forget words a lot lately, plus I forget how to spell them. Sometimes I worry about it but try not too. My anxiety is daily plus I’ve recently been diagnosed with adhd so my brain is all over the place. My flatmate will be talking to me and I don’t even pay attention to what he’s saying! He’s talks **** anyway,
I’ve always been like that but it’s gotten worse the last few years. I’m 54 and gone through menopause. That’s when I noticed changes in my health/ thinking etc. I started perimenopause in my mid 40s.
not saying that’s your issue but it’s possible. My anxiety was manageable before all that started and I could function a lot better. Now it’s spiralled. I still go to work etc but internally my brain is on alert all the time. I’m guessing that’s why I forget words etc as I have so much stuff going around in my brain and it overloads.

 

[Seryn]

I was going to say what you're describing sounds very much like hormones I'm two years younger than you and forgetting words is driving me insane. My short term memory for retaining the names of things or people is horrific and I keep forgetting the most random words when I'm trying to write things. Especially describing words it's really annoying! I dread a headache now because they can last for weeks, I used to be able to take paracetamol (Tylenol?) but it doesn't touch my headaches now. Out of my cycle I feel like I'm only human for the week after my period. If you see your GP just to discuss how you're feeling see if you can ask about menopause too. Obviously better to check with the medical professionals but I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I feel like a different person to who I was just 5 years ago?

My ex husbands grandfather died from a brain tumor and it was blatantly obviously very quickly that something was seriously wrong. It's way way more than a headache and forgetting some words. He was forgetting how to actually speak, yet he would get cross that nobody understood. He believed he was speaking absolutely fine but he wasn't speaking in coherent sentences. He was blacking out, he was ending up in places having no recollection how he got there. He was being sick and described a pain like someone had pushed a hot poker through his head not a headache. But all through it he was completely unaware of how he was acting. It progressed very quickly too.

 

[mollyfin]

So sorry about your ex FIL, that sounds terrible.

My wife also has PMDD that's gotten worse with perimenopause, sounds like that's what you're dealing with too? It seems awful. I had a partial hysterectomy ages ago so I have no idea what my cycle is doing on any given day.

 

[Phillies Phan]

You say 1 in 153…that must be the lifetime risk. For any given year it’s way more rare. Might want to consider seeing a GP to give you a basic neurological exam. When that’s normal, it 99% rules out BT. When is the last time you had a dilated eye exam? That too would likely rule out BT, especially combining the two.

 

[SallyHart]

Wishing you the best Mollyfin with what you are experiencing- I concur with others that this does happen to a huge majority of us- I get muddles up all the time - just on Saturday I was convinced it was Sunday for the first hour of waking-

 

[mollyfin]

You say 1 in 153…that must be the lifetime risk. For any given year it’s way more rare. Might want to consider seeing a GP to give you a basic neurological exam. When that’s normal, it 99% rules out BT. When is the last time you had a dilated eye exam? That too would likely rule out BT, especially combining the two.

Definitely past due for that anyway - I didn't know it at the time but apparently with nearsightedness as bad as mine, you're supposed to get checked annually even after your prescription has stabilized. It's definitely been a few years for me.

The neuro thing though is one of those...like, is this just me reinforcing that reassurance feedback loop?

I have to see my GP for my yearly anyway, guess I'll see what he thinks. But I do need to see the eye doctor at some point. And it's been quite a few years since I've seen the derm...you'd think a hypochondriac would be better at staying on top of these things!

And yeah 1 in 185 is lifetime odds. Seems brain cancers have different median ages at diagnoses; some peak in your 40s, some in your 60s, etc. Wouldn't know how to do the math around that!

 

[Jonathan123]

The big problem is that our minds are so self centred in anxiety that we forget everything else. When I was young and a serice engineer, I would go to my van for a part and forget what part I wanted. This is because we do not practise mindfulness, the ability to concentrate on what we are actually doing. Our minds are always somewhere else. Cleaning our teeth in the mornings is a good example. How many of us actually concentrate on that action? We are thinking about the day ahead or what we will have for lunch, or worst still, what complaint we may have.
We are not doctors. so any self diagnosis is bound to be questionable. Seeing a hrealth care professional is essential in anxiety. Going it alone is not an option.
Dr. Google will send you up many blind alleys. Whatever symptoms we may have it all comes down to one thing, fear. Fear is always at the root of anxiety.
We need decide what we are so afarid of, look it in the face and see it for what it is, an illusion, a mirage but one that seems so real. I am assuming you have been checked out by your doctor and told it's nerves. A fearful mind is capable of conjuring up any amount of false thoughts, so that we become confused which just adds to the problem. Total acceptance is still the answer. The book by Dr. Weekes is still available on Amazon. 'Essential help for your Nerves'. A compilation of all her work on anxiety.