Bouts of anger and codependency

[Amber B.]

I normally don't think of myself as someone who is codependent. I was raised to be an independent woman! Lately though I have been super clingy and almost get to the point where I'm in a fit of rage if my fiance wants to go do something without me. I get the feeling of being left out and it hurts my feelings. It then affects him because he knows this isn't how I normally am and he doesn't know what to do. Still waiting on my health insurance to kick in so I can see a doctor, but I think some anti-depressants or therapy sessions are definitely needed.

 

[Panic57]

Perhaps you just need to schedule alone time for each of you once a week, it'll be planned so that you don't feel like you're being left out. Since you've hit a eureka moment where you've realized that you're becoming codependent or at least excessively clingy, you can work on creating boundaries. If you're angry, I would suggest taking up some hard physical exercise like boxing or running. You need a private outlet to let out your anger without taking it out on your fiancé. While you're excising, figure out why you're clingy. Is your fiancé a substitute for something missing in your life? Do you have friends? Is he your only friend? Are you scared to lose him? Does he flirt or act in a manner that makes you think he might leave you? Is he your entertainment? The center of your world? Depending on how you answer that, will change how you deal with it. If you don't have a life of your own, you might be vicariously living through your fiancé. If that's it, you need to reclaim your life before you get married. I wouldn't add medication into the mix until you figure out the source of your codependency or clinginess.