Being Punished because of your mental illness

[XmasCarol52]

Do you ever feel like you are being punished because of your mental illness?There are times when I feel that way for certain like my doctor fired me because I couldn't make an appointment when they wanted me to and they knew i had very bad anxieties and agoraphobia,also I lost out on a visit with my doctor because i was 15 lousy minutes late it wasn't my fault the driver got lost because the place gave her the wrong address, then I never get to see my kids I feel like they are punishing me too,what is it with a mental illness why do we feel like we are being punished in some way.Got any thoughts? I do know with me sometimes i feel like just being mentally ill is a punishment enough,Is God doing this to us what did we ever do to deserve this kind of treatment.

 

[Concernedgal]

That's a good question. What did we ever do? I don't think we did anything. One or both of our parents had a mental illness and we inherited that flawed gene. My mother once told me that when she was pregnant with me , she had a panic attack and she thinks that she's to blame but, I remind her that she herself went through alot at that time and it was bound to happen. We all know that our childhood may have something to do with it because we have experienced so much stress so young in life that our brains just can't take it anymore. But, in a way ... we are stronger than the "norms". We deal with this everyday and it takes strength get to get through the day. Carol I just don't know the answer. I we will probably never understand why but, this is the hand that God has dealt us and all we can do is try to keep our composer and live our life day by day. Your a strong woman and not many people have the strength to go through what we have to everyday . Because if they did... they would treat us with more dignity and respect. Until then. .There's always going to be judgment on us and I just will never get it. Much love carol. Keep your head held high and take it one day at a time.

 

[XmasCarol52]

It is awful when we feel like we have to be perfect well I do but that is because my mother thinks i should be and she does not understand my illnesses at all she thinks I should just not think about them and get over them.Duh if we knew how to get over them we would had a long time ago.I believe that my mother has depression from what she told me her mother killed herself and her dad didnt want her or her sisters so see you can see she had a miserable life,I think she is anxious to but she wont admit to it.She gets so overly excited.Yells at me whenever I get anxious and that just isnt right.You know what i think I believe my grandmother my dad's ,mom had anxieties she use to have so much trouble with swallowing and breathing the doctors and nurses could care less I was so mad.. It just feels like we are being punished sometimes doesn't it. I am sure God has his reasons for us having a mental illness I believe he may had a hand in it because maybe he wants us to help others.Maybe that is why we are ill and maybe that is why we do care so much.Have you ever cared so much you get stabbed in the back ?Or they dont want your help?? Sometimes I feel like I am being punished because I was born.. Like I am a mistake or something.I am sure my family thinks I am...

 

[Concernedgal]

No matter the circumstances of your birth... God doesn't make mistakes. Your here for a reason , we all are. If your family decides that they want to take there life out on you then .. they can all go to hell because that's not right and you deserve better. We always blame ourselves and we shouldn't they there problems and we are not it. If they can be mean to others then somehow that temporarily take there minds off there own problems. Never ever let anyone take away your self worth. You are so so much better than they are and like I said before. . You don't deserve all the crap you get .

 

[XmasCarol52]

Thank you,sometimes it just feels or makes me feel like I am a bad person because i have this illness,enjoy some pix i just did

 

[janemariesayed]

I don't feel that I am being punished because of my mental illness. I feel like I'm being punished for being a product of incest. Sometimes it feels as though they are happy that the event has had an adverse effect on me. Yet I was the innocent party in all this. It is hard to say ignore them because we find that very hard. We are compassionate and sensitive people and sometimes it feels as though they are walking all over us.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am so sorry it isnt your fault because u were born out of incest it is your mothers. You got that right i do feel like people are walking all over me i just spoke to my mom and she is giving me a hard time again.If u dont do what she wants or suggests she gets mad and her it comes u go and do what the hell you want.I get so sick of that crap.

 

[Concernedgal]

I can't imagine what it's like to be born from incest. But, Carol has a point . She really didn't say it in these words but, I understand what her meaning is. Havi g parents regardless of how you were born can mess you up. For example. .. like i've mentioned before my parents were no angels. My dad being abusive and my mom with her hear in the sand while he would also cheat on my mom. We as children always blamed ourselves for their problems and if we aren't told otherwise then we live the rest of our lives feeling that way. We make it our mission to try to make others happy and live for others satifaction that we always ignore ourselvrs, ignore our needs and wants.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Both of my parents were verbually and physically abusive when my mm got mad she would wrestle me down on my bed and hit me one time she almost hit me in the eye with a pencil I had to lie the next day at school why i had a mark underneath my eye.One time I did something I was forced to kneel on the kitchen floor for about two hours with just shorts on you dont know how much my legs and knees hurt,my mm also use to chase me around the kitchen table with a spoon or a broom.Once I hit my private area she just stood there and laughed said I deserved it and when u tell her she did these things she just lies about it and says never did one time my dad found out i was smoking he knocked me down onto the floor and started kicking me if that isnt abuse I dont know what is.It is no wonder i think everything is my fault and i deserve it.I would never treat my kids that way. She still does verbually abuse me