"Bad Luck" heightens my anxiety

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Rachelle, Apr 20, 2017.

  1. Rachelle

    Rachelle New Member

    I am a complete budget- loving- hating-person. I am a careful budgeter because I have some near future goals I would like to attain and I need a strict budget to make them happen. Anyway, this month several random annual bills have come due, I should have been prepared for them but I am not. I know that I have to pay my credit card fee annually and a few other things, but since I wasn't thinking about them I now feel like it is 'bad luck.'

    What has me stressing today is that so far I've had 4 things come due so my budget is tight. Again, all fine and dandy. EXCEPT now my anxiety about my pets is on high alert. All I keep thinking is... OMG what if one of them is sick and then I have to go to the vet and have another bill. My mind is telling me "Clearly I'm having bad luck this month with all of these bills coming due at the same time, that means something bad will happen to my pets." :(

    I know this is not logical. Anxiety is not logical. I don't want to spend the rest of my day, MONTH in a panic attack that something is going to happen to my pets simply because a few bills came due. HELP. Kind words would be greatly appreciated right now.

    @janemariesayed
     
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  2. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    It isn't bad luck that has found you, it was your bad planning. It can, and should be easily rectified although, when you first realise I know it's a stress.

    You only need to get in touch with who you need to make payments to and each one of them will agree to a weekly plan to pay it off. Work out your incomings and outgoings and see what you have left over that you can put towards catching up with your bills. You see? It's not so difficult. I've been in that situation as well and this is how I dealt with it. I called and visited and spoke with everyone. They all made an agreement with me to pay what I could afford and now I've caught up. They can't get blood out of a stone so it's tough. You do the best to pay them back and your conscious is clear.

    This doesn't affect your pets. Your pets are healthy. The only way it affects them is that they will have to cut back on treats for a while till you've got spare cash again.;) Sometimes if I'm short on funds till payday, my dogs have fruit or raw veg as a treat. It's cheaper and healthier to give them a crunchy carrot. Give your pets a hug and relax. :happy:
     
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  3. Rachelle

    Rachelle New Member

    Thank you for the kind words. They love carrots and broccoli!

    I have the savings to pay for everything. I'm just such a planner that when things get off kilter like that it tends to throw me. My anxiety increases and I think very irrationally. But, I'm working on it and I really appreciate the support of this group!
     
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  4. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    It is good that you have savings that you can use on a rainy day. If your pets do need help then you know that you can deal with it straightaway. You are obviously doing your best by them so you should be able to relax where they are concerned. You are not alone, I worry about my two dogs which in turn makes me anxious.
     
    Robert Turner likes this.
  5. Robert Turner

    Robert Turner Member

    Hi Rachelle

    Can I make a suggestion for you to try the next time you experience this?
    The bills were a surprise and led to you stressing about your dogs. Try and identify the cause of the stress (the bills in this case) and then sit down with a piece of paper and make a list o positives about the dogs (in this instance).
    Jot down anything you can think of. How fortunate you are to have loving pets, how healthy they are, how much you love them, that you can afford to feed them etc. You get the idea.

    It may sound silly but read the list out loud a few times. Really focus on it and feel real gratitude for all the good. Do this a few times and it will become easier to do with each stress inducing situation. I use this technique and can now squash almost any negative thoughts before they take root by doing the above in my head. Living in this state destroys negative thoughts which are at the root of most of our problems.

    I hope this is some use to you.
     
  6. Danes

    Danes Pending

    That is a great process, and coincidentally one that I was going to suggest myself. I learned it from a mentor of mine and she calls it 'The Book of Positive Aspects' where you have a separate page in your journal for each thing that you want to condition yourself to feel better about. It really works.
     
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  7. Robert Turner

    Robert Turner Member

    Yes I does. I can testify to that. It has been one of the key elements to me recovering from feeling sorry for myself. I was diagnosed with depression, but looking back I can see how this diagnosis can often simply aggravate things.

    Imagine if doctors told you you were actually suffering from lack of a positive outlook and gratitude and needed to follow certain steps to fix yourself. I think we would have a much happier world.

    I am not trying to belittle the trauma many people face on a daily basis, just suggesting an alternative that I know now would have worked for me and saved me years of misery.
     
  8. Natasha0717

    Natasha0717 Active Member

    The same exact thing happened to me. I was doing okay this month with my money, and then the heater broke on my fish tank (and these are Oscars, they need it at 80 degrees F!).. and a heater for a 75-gallon tank is $40.00. That may not seem like much, but a surprise expense like that can really throw things off. Then I was low on fish drops (for the water) and also out of freeze-dried shrimp, I suddenly became low on all of the things that I usually have lying around...the "givens".

    Like you, I constantly worry about one of my pets getting sick, esp. when I'm low on cash. In fact, one of my cats did get really sick about 3 years ago and needed emergency surgery, he was only 5 years old at the time. He had a hairball lodged in his intestine and part of it was rotting away. He wouldn't eat at all and kept throwing up. Ever since that horrible night (and the weeks that followed, he had a really hard time recovering from that) - I keep an extra eye on him, ALL THE TIME. I always feel like the same thing will happen, and I know how hard it was for him to recover from surgery the first time. All of my cats are very sheltered and for some reason never became "people cats"... they only trust me and hide from pretty much everyone else. So you can see how a trip to the vet, + surgery, could really do a number on one of them. And it did. My uncle, mom, and grandma helped me out money-wise, but I'm still so worried he will fall into that same situation again.

    Your pets will be fine. And if something were to come up, you can still take them to the vet and if you don't have the money up front, don't you worry...they will find a way to send the bill to your house, even if you make payments, you will eventually cover that bill. What will they do if you don't pay right after the visit, arrest you? Nope. They've seen many, many, many people in tight spots (with their pets) and there's always something that can be arranged. ;)
     
  9. Concernedgal

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

    Hello Natasha. Long time no see. How have u been?
     

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