Bad first impressions of people

[Sunflower_Michele54]

First impressions seem to say a lot about people. It's completely normal to get a bad first impression from someone just by the way they look. If they appear to have a very stern face, we can automatically think that person is mean. However, if they appear happy, we can assume that they're easy to get along with. While this may be the case at times, it doesn't mean that it's always the case. I've experienced this throughout my life.


I met a person at an event over a year ago. My first impression of her was one of the worst ones I have ever experienced. She looked like she never wanted to associate with most of the people. This is because I only saw her associate with those who stood out from everyone else like she did. She wore tons of makeup, plus she looked very stern. I thought she appeared to be very stuck up, so I automatically shut her out.


She seemed very blunt, but she wasn't t mean. I still felt very uneasy around her. People told me things that weren't the best, so that made me feel even worse. Then, after months, I ran into her. I had an issue with someone, and I cried because it got really bad She came over to me, and told her what happened. She held my hand, and she told me that she understood and that things would be fine. I realized that she had a very sensitive side that I didn't even expect to be there at all.


Ever since then, I developed a good relationship with her. I thanked her for talking with me, and she said that it was no problem. I also gave her a chance to get to know me, and I got to know her. Mow, whenever I would see her if she wasn't busy, we would greet each other. She also told me that I could talk to her if I ever needed someone to talk to. So, after having the worst first bad impression of her, she became one of the people I trust the most. So, it really is possible to develop good relationships with people you don't like at first.


Have you ever has this experience with anyone?

 

[hades_leae]

I'v e had the experience, but never actually became friends or got any closer than we did on the day that we met. I always tell myself that if the person and I don't have a good introduction to one another, there is no fixing what we could've had if things were different.


I also feel like that because they know about first impressions, and to give off whatever vibe that they are to me as a first impressions makes me just want to walk away.

 

[SarahWorksAtHome]

I have never had an experience like that. My intuition is incredibly strong though and generally, my first immediate feeling about them in my gut is the one to follow. I'm the type that will still give a chance- I don't just excuse off of a first impression but I have found that I probably should! It definitely sounds like your situation turned out for the best though and that is awesome!

 

[theduck7]

I often want to go with my first impressions but I've come to realize that a first impression are very often false. If I look at myself and how I really am, and how I act when I'm in a social setting meeting people for the first time, I can see there is a huge difference. Even people I've known for a while don't always know the real me and that encourages me to give others more of a chance before I judge them.


Another good reminder for me is of my first impression of one of my good friends. I thought he was a blunt, rude person who made me uncomfortable by staring at me. Turned out that once I got to know him a little better we hit it off really well, and that the staring was something he did to everyone.


I like to give people a second chance because often when people are nervous and meeting new people they either quiet down a lot or act up to cover up their nervousness, when neither is their usual way of interacting with others.

 

[kelden]

I can't tell. My first impression of people tends to be neutral. I don't try to rush judgement, since I know there is more beyond the appearance. But sometimes, people behavior are quite predictable that your first set of judgement over him or her totally fits the overall characterization of this person.

 

[rldonah]

First impressions can definitely be false. I'm more reserved when meeting someone for the first time, but once I get to know someone my personality starts to come through. That's just how I am. When I meet people, there's a lot that processes as far as my overall impression of someone. Sometimes your impressions are right, but once you learn more about them, you can see there's more to them that. You could be meeting someone for the first time during a time that's less than ideal for that person. They could be having a bad day. Sure, you'll be seeing how they potentially handle bad days, but that doesn't define who they are as a person. They could be a caring person just going through a tough time. I've been friends with people where the first impression was less than ideal. I know that there's more to people than the side you first meet.

 

[brdwlk]

I have had this experience, but at an early age. I grew up in two drastically different worlds at the same time... one at home and one at school. I had held false beliefs about people in both worlds. I ultimately got much better at ignoring my preconceptions and just giving people a chance. Yes, my preconceptions are often right, but when they're wrong, I have a new friend I wouldn't have had otherwise!

 

[djordjem87]

With my OCD problems I have no trouble to scan somebody very well to see if I could find out what kind of a person he or she might be. However, the bad impression is on my side because of the obvious examining going on from me. I try not to do this but it is not something that I really control. For example I see a guy well dressed, expensive watch and obvious presence of money but his clothes are sporty at least. It's fair, I like those ... When I'm jogging but never mind. I make a conclusion or two about his social life and his habits. I believe that his style is relatively freshly picked so to say because he looks like a thug from the nineties in Serbia with Air Max snickers and some funny looking jacket and watch that does not belong there. Now, this applies that he is probably younger than he looks because kids nowadays have started to make false idols in criminals from the period I have already mentioned. Now, I was sure that this is the story of this boy but I wasn't sure what was his business, was he doing something for a living and than I saw dust on his brand new snickers. That made me believe that he is from rural parts where dust is common and that he really needs to escape that and I knew he was dealing drugs for some big fish because he was walking like some real criminals in the city but in his case it was hilarious. That was all before he said his name to me.


It's no wonder that he didn't like me, as I found out later. I also found out that I was pretty much right about everything. I like to lose myself in these scanning and detail searching and that is sometimes very rude from me.

 

[Laura127]

I have had a negative first impression of someone that I became friends with later, but as someone else said, that was when I was younger. Now I'm more concerned with their first impression of me. I guess it;s the anxiety issues, but I'm basically scanning to see if they've prejudged me, seem willing to talk to me... That is pretty much the sum of my first impression of people anymore, weather or not I get the impression they like me. Everything else pretty much stems from that.

 

[thecorinthian]

I guess I've had that experience before. When I was in college my bestfriend got hit on by this guy in our organization. This guy was a real sexual maniac so she said and would flirt and touch the freshmen openly. Ofcourse after hearing that from someone I trust I stopped talking to the guy. Fast foward a few years into the future we met again in a work event and had a casual conversation. I found out he was more than what people talked about him-- he liked movies and going to museums and the like. The guy was very cultured and gracious and didn't hit on anyone. Maybe people do change (he even volunteers in charities) I don't want to be a victim to first impressions again.

 

[Sue]

I have had that experience before. I am pretty good at ready people by the first impression. When my daughter was younger and dating she hated it because whenever she brought a new boyfriend home I would be able to tell her what he was like and I was always right. lol After awhile you get to know who is who or that is how it has been for me.

 

[KW2496]

I have had similar experiences, though I usually never end up becoming friends with them. I think I have one of those faces where people think I'm rude or don't want to associate with anyone, when that's really not the case. Countless times, I've had people ask me what's wrong just because of the look I have on my face. Whenever I've been asked this there is never anything wrong, it's just how my face is! I usually get annoyed now with people who do that just because it's happened so many times.

 

[Panic57]

I think first impressions are hard to shake because half the time they are spot on and the other have it was wrong. I tend to put more weight on first impressions where I've had a conversation alone or in a small group with someone. Personally, I like one alone and one with a group to see if they act or talk differently because some people change when there are people watching. People are rarely as superficial as the first impression though, even the worst person has a reason for acting a certain way. So you have to consider people in an empathetic light even if you don't like them. Most of the stuck up people I've met are that way because their parents force them to follow the status quo and be 'elite' and they just grew up with different pressures. So while those people looked their nose down at me, they were raised that way, so while we could never be friends, I understand having people close to you pressuring you to be a certain way.

 

[justsayyes]

I've had similar experience in the past as well and we become really good friends, until now actually, although our communication is limited to social medias nowadays since she moved to another country. But yes, it's pretty much the same thing. It just goes to show that the popular phrase 'first impressions last' is not true for everyone.

 

[mkhl]

I live in a shady part of the city and I do have bad impressions on some people. I felt at guilty at first thinking that I judge people without even knowing them but somehow I got used to it. Even the slightest bad impression will make me move away or at least put some distance between me and person. I still think of it as a bad habit but I feel that it's what keeping me safe from harm or at least it decreases the chance of it.

 

[whysewserious]

We moved quite a bit when I was growing up, so I went to a new school every one to two years - and did not realize for a long time that I was on the receiving end of being sized up as a bad first impression. School is tough as it is, but because I was sad at having to start over yet again, I gave off a very dour demeanor and it took a while to make friends.


I had a friend (I am still in touch with) tell me she was glad we became close, because she was scared of me at first because I just looked mean. This shocked me! I never considered myself a mean person.


This did teach me quite a bit about sizing others up, though. We might be meeting someone for the first time while they are under duress. I try to not decide how I feel about someone until a second or third time, or even more than that if I have a chance. I like to see patterns in behavior before I decide if I like someone or not.

 

[Dove]

After I graduated high school I realized that what I thought it was me passing as a mature person, looked for people my age pedantic. So when I went to college I reached a compromise with myself: I was going to try and be more friendly, or not so serious with people. I'm not telling you this worked from a day to the other, but I met my best friend at college and left with many friends as well, so I guess it did work out. I'm not saying we must change in order to make people like us, but it is good to see ourselves in the mirror every once in a while and ask ourselves how do others perceive us.

 

[captaintoastedwaffle]

Whenever I have a bad first impression of someone, especially if the impression is that they are mean/rude/unapproachable etc, I find it extremely hard to get to know them better. It has happened several times that I have been so intimidated from a first impression of someone that I have held off from getting to know them better because i find myself physically incapable of communicating properly with them, only to find out later on that they are a great person and i've really missed out on a friendship by that one stupid first impression

 

[gmckeebiz]

I think we all fall into the trap of judging people based on first appearances. From my personal experiences, the initial impression I have of someone has turned out to be way off base the more I have gotten to know them. As we form relationships with people, our perception of them changes. I think it's important to keep this in mind when meeting new people. There is always more than meets the eye both good and bad. Unfortunately, that's not the way most of us work. If someone doesn't pass the "eye test" sometimes we write them off completely. And that's a shame.