Hi everyone, I’m new as of today. Sorry if this is long! My health anxiety has gotten the better of me and I thought joining a support forum would help. I’ve been reading other posts and it really has helped. I feel so alone with my health anxiety and no one else understands except the people who actually go through it. My first anxiety attack came after I had my 2nd child. She was 1 and I got sick for 2 months straight. I’m pretty sure it was a re-activation of Epstein Barr virus. Anyway, for no reason at all, I had a major attack waiting for my blood tests to come back. I thought for sure I had either Lymphoma or Leukemia. Finally, after waiting 2 days everything looked fine. Fast forward a year and I was getting multiple sclerosis symptoms. Which seems likely because of the virus I had. I’m still in limbo land with that and I’m ok if that’s what I have. I can live with it. My biggest fear is cancer. Last summer, I had an ovarian cyst. I was certain that is was ovarian cancer. I couldn’t even go to the doctor. After a month of dull pain, I finally went and everything was fine. My symptoms went away that day. I wonder just how powerful our minds are. Around this last Thanksgiving I had major swollen lymph nodes under my chin. I obsessed and obsessed. Emailed my doctor. He said it’s very common with a cold. I was sick so it made sense. He said to come back in 6-8 weeks if they didn’t go down. But my shortness of breath had me googleing lymphoma that spreads ( Dr. Google is evil). All of this has caused major digestive issues. Now I think I have cancer somewhere in my digestive system. That’s all I can focus on. My lymph nodes went way down. I’m happy about that. But I can’t stop thinking about it. And I feel so alone.
Bad, bad health anxiety
- Thread starter MarieB
- Start date
I hear ya loud and clear, I deal with horrible health anxiety myself for the last 16 months. I’ve gone from colon cancer, lung cancer, bone cancer, to als, and now thinking I have stomach or esophageal. I’ve been in panic mode for two weeks and i ruined the holidays. Paranoid about everything I eat and how it’s gonna feel, hyper sensitive to everything going on in my stomach. Been on a few meds in the past month, all giving me side effects that just worry me more (or at least I hope they’re side effects). I can’t stop, all I want to do is run to the ER but I’ve run up too many Dr bills as it is.
Yes, my holidays were ruined also! I literally was crying upstairs thinking about how next Christmas my family could be without me. I mean, if that’s not morbid, I don’t know what is! But it’s so very real to me. Mornings are my worst time. I used to wake briefly to reposition myself or add more blankets and go back to sleep. But now I’m in the throes of anxiety, I can’t go back to sleep. My heart is pounding. I have to weigh myself ( because people with cancer lose weight without trying) But I’m loosing weight because can’t eat and my nerves ramp up my metabolism. And since I can’t sleep, I’m fatigued all day. But that freaks me out because people with cancer have fatigue as a symptom. It’s a vicious cycle and I’m so tired of it! I’m so sorry for the rant! I’m thinking about therapy, but like you said it may be a waste of money. That’s good that you at least go to the dr./ ER. I can’t even do that. My fear is that they will either find something, or a test will come back inconclusive and have to retest. I would go out of my mind.
RemyAnonymous
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MarieB,
Know that you are not alone. I struggle with health anxiety all the time. It’s really hard to prevent an anxiety affected mind from feeding your thoughts with the worst possible scenarios and possibilities. I struggle with thoughts about suddenly dying and with the guilt / worry about what my family would go through if that were to happen. It’s the worst. Just keep breathing. Take a deep breath and trust your doctors. Activities that can calm your mind from racing through unhealthy thoughts are awesome. For me, it’s Yoga. (Or video games... despite being in my 30s.... don’t judge... it helps lol)
You’re going to be ok. Enjoy the moments you have with your family. Anxiety tries to steal those moments from you. Don’t let it. I have found that this type of thinking has really enriched my relationships with both family and friends. I’m making the most of my time - I don’t have time to waste on worrying.
... and when things get really chaotic in your thoughts, everyone here will be here to support you.
Good luck. You got this.
Know that you are not alone. I struggle with health anxiety all the time. It’s really hard to prevent an anxiety affected mind from feeding your thoughts with the worst possible scenarios and possibilities. I struggle with thoughts about suddenly dying and with the guilt / worry about what my family would go through if that were to happen. It’s the worst. Just keep breathing. Take a deep breath and trust your doctors. Activities that can calm your mind from racing through unhealthy thoughts are awesome. For me, it’s Yoga. (Or video games... despite being in my 30s.... don’t judge... it helps lol)
You’re going to be ok. Enjoy the moments you have with your family. Anxiety tries to steal those moments from you. Don’t let it. I have found that this type of thinking has really enriched my relationships with both family and friends. I’m making the most of my time - I don’t have time to waste on worrying.
... and when things get really chaotic in your thoughts, everyone here will be here to support you.
Good luck. You got this.
I struggle as well (about 15 years all total). Any new or seemingly off body sensation causes my mind to race with what-if scenarios. I have spent way too much money going to Doctors only to be told I am fine. Sites like this help and also listening to self-help apps on my phone.
Aaronbm2009
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I have what I think is called heart anxiety or I have an actual heart issue I’ve been to the er twice they performed the same test ekg X-ray blood test etc. I’m thinking what if they didn’t do something right. 3 drs have told me I’m fine but I can’t find it to believe them. I have heart disease in my family, so it freaks me out. I tell myself day in and day out you are fine man get over it it’s an anxiety attack and then it happens and I think I’m having a heart attack idk what to do but I can relate to you, I’m honestly just looking to express lol. Hope all is well, Aaron.
Aaronbm2009
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You took words out of my mouth.
Hurt&Hopeful
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