Awkwardness

[_Lukas]

Does anyone else on here ever feel like they're really socially awkward or have bad manners or poor social skills?

I think about this a lot because I feel like I'm ridiculously awkward in social situations. The farthest I can usually get in a conversation with another person I don't know that well is "Hi. How are you?" and then I have no idea what to say next. One of my worst nightmares is being in a room full of people I don't know very well and having to carry a conversation.

I'm starting to think that maybe I have mild autism or something. When I feel comfortable talking, it's only when I'm talking about my interests or talking about myself. Dave always points out that I bring up weird topics at inappropriate times and that I laugh at inappropriate things, and that it doesn't quite fit with the conversations that other people are having. I also interrupt people a lot when they're talking and just kind of run over the conversation without realizing I'm being rude. I don't have a filter at all and I kind of just say whatever I'm thinking in the moment, regardless of whether or not it's inappropriate or TMI. Like for example, the other day I was sitting in the library with Dave and I said "We haven't had sex in a while and my balls hurt." Dave was so mortified because I said it in front of a bunch of other people and they heard it, and we were also in an environment where we were supposed to be quiet. He was like "Shh, Lukas, that's so inappropriate!"
I say stuff like that all the time. Dave always corrects me when I don't filter myself. He says I have "verbal diarrhea" or "word vomit."

I need to work on filtering myself better and just being less awkward in social situations in general. It's really embarrassing when I screw up like that in front of people, and it just makes everyone think I'm weird and a little "off."
I want to look into testing to see if maybe I'm on the autism spectrum. My therapist always says I don't fit the profile of an autistic person and that I only meet a few of the diagnostic criteria for autism or Asperger's, not enough for a diagnosis. I want to get a second opinion though.
It's possible that I may have some kind of intellectual or cognitive impairment too so that might be something to ask my doctor about. I haven't had any kind of IQ testing or neuropsych testing done in a while so I should probably look into that. I do have a physical disability so it's possible that it could be affecting my brain.

 

[janemariesayed]

Does anyone else on here ever feel like they're really socially awkward or have bad manners or poor social skills?

I think about this a lot because I feel like I'm ridiculously awkward in social situations. The farthest I can usually get in a conversation with another person I don't know that well is "Hi. How are you?" and then I have no idea what to say next. One of my worst nightmares is being in a room full of people I don't know very well and having to carry a conversation.

I'm starting to think that maybe I have mild autism or something. When I feel comfortable talking, it's only when I'm talking about my interests or talking about myself. Dave always points out that I bring up weird topics at inappropriate times and that I laugh at inappropriate things, and that it doesn't quite fit with the conversations that other people are having. I also interrupt people a lot when they're talking and just kind of run over the conversation without realizing I'm being rude. I don't have a filter at all and I kind of just say whatever I'm thinking in the moment, regardless of whether or not it's inappropriate or TMI. Like for example, the other day I was sitting in the library with Dave and I said "We haven't had sex in a while and my balls hurt." Dave was so mortified because I said it in front of a bunch of other people and they heard it, and we were also in an environment where we were supposed to be quiet. He was like "Shh, Lukas, that's so inappropriate!"
I say stuff like that all the time. Dave always corrects me when I don't filter myself. He says I have "verbal diarrhea" or "word vomit."

I need to work on filtering myself better and just being less awkward in social situations in general. It's really embarrassing when I screw up like that in front of people, and it just makes everyone think I'm weird and a little "off."
I want to look into testing to see if maybe I'm on the autism spectrum. My therapist always says I don't fit the profile of an autistic person and that I only meet a few of the diagnostic criteria for autism or Asperger's, not enough for a diagnosis. I want to get a second opinion though.
It's possible that I may have some kind of intellectual or cognitive impairment too so that might be something to ask my doctor about. I haven't had any kind of IQ testing or neuropsych testing done in a while so I should probably look into that. I do have a physical disability so it's possible that it could be affecting my brain.

Haha, yes! A big fat yes! I talk too much though because I am nervous. I don't hear what people say to me. It has to be written down but that is the brain fog, or so my doctor tells me. Because of the emotional problems I've had, it has affected me with brain fog.

I bring up weird topics as well. And that can be at any time too! It seems like it is part of the illness. I find some strange things (subjects) fascinating and study them and read about them. Then I make contact with the people in the world who ignorantly are just interested in football or the like. I feel better about it now. They have not a clue of life. I am way above them. My conversation is above them. They haven't got a clue what I'm talking about unless it is something really boring and mundane like what is the best mascara to buy. It drives me nuts but now I don't feel bad.

Dave is probably embarrassed that you say those things in front of people. Perhaps you could try to think about what you say, or what you are about to say! I bet it was funny though, it made me laugh to read it! lol

(If you are feeling a bit of pain down there, can I suggest giving yourself some self-relief? It won't be forever and could help while you wait for things to come back round to more normality. Perhaps you could speak with your doc about this as well. You are both newly married, it's not a good idea to be going without at this time.)

 

[_Lukas]

Haha, yes! A big fat yes! I talk too much though because I am nervous. I don't hear what people say to me. It has to be written down but that is the brain fog, or so my doctor tells me. Because of the emotional problems I've had, it has affected me with brain fog.

I bring up weird topics as well. And that can be at any time too! It seems like it is part of the illness. I find some strange things (subjects) fascinating and study them and read about them. Then I make contact with the people in the world who ignorantly are just interested in football or the like. I feel better about it now. They have not a clue of life. I am way above them. My conversation is above them. They haven't got a clue what I'm talking about unless it is something really boring and mundane like what is the best mascara to buy. It drives me nuts but now I don't feel bad.

Dave is probably embarrassed that you say those things in front of people. Perhaps you could try to think about what you say, or what you are about to say! I bet it was funny though, it made me laugh to read it! lol

(If you are feeling a bit of pain down there, can I suggest giving yourself some self-relief? It won't be forever and could help while you wait for things to come back round to more normality. Perhaps you could speak with your doc about this as well. You are both newly married, it's not a good idea to be going without at this time.)

I'm so glad I'm not the only one, but I'm sorry you struggle with it too. I also talk too much when I'm nervous. And give me a computer and a keyboard and I'll never shut up! Lol.
I think a lot of people find that I'm too enthusiastic when I talk too and that scares people away. Dave has the same problem.

I find some strange subjects fascinating too and I'm always disappointed when people don't like hearing about them. I love to study and research things and I have lots of knowledge about random facts that I blurt out at inappropriate times.
You couldn't pay me enough to sit around and talk about sports or makeup lol. Dave could sit there for hours and chatter about mascara and cute male singers and whatever he's reading in Cosmopolitan magazine. It drives me crazy! I get so bored with those types of conversations. I like to have deeper, more meaningful conversations and it's frustrating when people don't engage and don't know what I'm talking about. That's why I love coming on here so much, because you guys can have those types of meaningful conversations and I don't feel like I'm weird for talking about them. So I completely understand where you're coming from and I have the same problem.

Lol, of course he's embarrassed! I drive him nuts sometimes and vice versa. I'm glad you got a laugh out of my saying that because Dave certainly didn't. I definitely need to work on filtering myself.

We took care of the pain last night at the hotel, lol! But thanks for the advice, and next time Dave and I go for a long period of time without doing the deed, I'll probably resort to taking care of it myself. His medication is decreasing his sex drive, that's the problem.

 

[janemariesayed]

give me a computer and a keyboard and I'll never shut up! Lol.

Hahaha, Chat, chat chat, chat chat! Welcome, I love it Lukas! Chatting is great for the soul and exercises the fingers! LOL

I much prefer deeper conversations and love to research as well. But my choice of subjects are not the normal run of the mill latest fad type talk. I haven't got a clue who some of today's famous people are but ask me about who lived in pre-dynastic Egypt and I know so much!

I'm glad you enjoyed the hotel in new years but I think it is important to talk to the doc about the meds. You are only just newly married so this is the time your sex drives should be A1 Tops.

I'm sorry I laughed but I could imagine it and it seemed quite funny. Everyone quiet in a library and you just come out with that line like your saying you need potatoes for dinner! My sense of humour! lol

 

[_Lukas]

Hahaha, Chat, chat chat, chat chat! Welcome, I love it Lukas! Chatting is great for the soul and exercises the fingers! LOL

I much prefer deeper conversations and love to research as well. But my choice of subjects are not the normal run of the mill latest fad type talk. I haven't got a clue who some of today's famous people are but ask me about who lived in pre-dynastic Egypt and I know so much!

I'm glad you enjoyed the hotel in new years but I think it is important to talk to the doc about the meds. You are only just newly married so this is the time your sex drives should be A1 Tops.

I'm sorry I laughed but I could imagine it and it seemed quite funny. Everyone quiet in a library and you just come out with that line like your saying you need potatoes for dinner! My sense of humour! lol

Lol, that's me- chat, chat, chat, chat, chat!
I do think I need to chill out a bit though because I do seem to bother people. I don't know when enough is enough! And my sense of humor and joking around can come across as flirting, which can be a problem for some people and also gets me in trouble with Dave. I'm not sure Dave is 100% convinced that I'm not romantically interested in women!

I much prefer deeper conversations too. I don't want to sit around and talk about the weather or the baseball game. I don't know who a lot of famous people are either but I could list every dog breed in the world!

Dave has a therapy session tomorrow so I'll make sure he talks about the meds and the sex issue. I'm feeling very sexually frustrated lately and I think it's coming out in inappropriate ways. The other day I went to see my hairdresser and a thought actually crossed my mind about sleeping with him! I would never actually cheat on Dave but sometimes I'm not thinking with my correct head lol. And although I don't have the craziest sex drive in the world, I'm still a young man and I do feel the need sometimes.

No need to apologize for laughing, Dave is the only one who doesn't seem to find it funny lol I found it funny!

 

[janemariesayed]

Lol, that's me- chat, chat, chat, chat, chat!
I do think I need to chill out a bit though because I do seem to bother people. I don't know when enough is enough! And my sense of humor and joking around can come across as flirting, which can be a problem for some people and also gets me in trouble with Dave. I'm not sure Dave is 100% convinced that I'm not romantically interested in women!

I much prefer deeper conversations too. I don't want to sit around and talk about the weather or the baseball game. I don't know who a lot of famous people are either but I could list every dog breed in the world!

Dave has a therapy session tomorrow so I'll make sure he talks about the meds and the sex issue. I'm feeling very sexually frustrated lately and I think it's coming out in inappropriate ways. The other day I went to see my hairdresser and a thought actually crossed my mind about sleeping with him! I would never actually cheat on Dave but sometimes I'm not thinking with my correct head lol. And although I don't have the craziest sex drive in the world, I'm still a young man and I do feel the need sometimes.

No need to apologize for laughing, Dave is the only one who doesn't seem to find it funny lol I found it funny!

Well, if you need to chill go and meditate. Or take yourself into your closet and shake hands with the vicar (so to speak) And if you think about it, there is more than one way to skin a cat! When I was in my marriage and pregnant, I couldn't let my husband do the deed so I would release him in other ways, can't Dave oblige you that way? Even if he isn't feeling like it, if he loves you............ surely he wouldn't mind. I do think you need to be understanding and strong willed to not take your pleasures outside your marriage but consider there are other ways to get pleasure without having the full monty. (with your husband that is!)

Scary I know, but it may even be an idea if you are going with Dave for his appointment to mention how going without is affecting you.

 

[_Lukas]

Well, if you need to chill go and meditate. Or take yourself into your closet and shake hands with the vicar (so to speak) And if you think about it, there is more than one way to skin a cat! When I was in my marriage and pregnant, I couldn't let my husband do the deed so I would release him in other ways, can't Dave oblige you that way? Even if he isn't feeling like it, if he loves you............ surely he wouldn't mind. I do think you need to be understanding and strong willed to not take your pleasures outside your marriage but consider there are other ways to get pleasure without having the full monty. (with your husband that is!)

Scary I know, but it may even be an idea if you are going with Dave for his appointment to mention how going without is affecting you.

"Shake hands with the vicar!" Lol!
There are other ways he can release me, we had a talk about that today after he had therapy. I would never take my pleasures outside my marriage. I had that passing thought about my hairdresser (and Dave knows about that, he wasn't pleased) but I would never actually sleep with him because he's not my husband, Dave is.

 

[ChrisLeJune]

@_Lukas Keep moving forward sounds like your doing great. Your married and going to counseling .

 

[janemariesayed]

"Shake hands with the vicar!" Lol!
There are other ways he can release me, we had a talk about that today after he had therapy. I would never take my pleasures outside my marriage. I had that passing thought about my hairdresser (and Dave knows about that, he wasn't pleased) but I would never actually sleep with him because he's not my husband, Dave is.

I'm glad to hear that, and that you know how to keep your dignity.