Avoiding success

[lexinonomous]

Social Anxiety can play a huge role in avoiding success (at least in my case.) There have been countless times where I've avoided attending school or getting a job, simply because the idea of it made me anxious. It took me several yes to accept the fact that I needed to grow up. It wasn't until earlier this year that I started to attend school and look into getting a job. All of this stemmed from anxiety and fearing that I would fail in the real world. I would also obsess with the idea of my boyfriend cheating on me if I wasn't always openly available.


Looking back at this situation, it seems so silly to me, but I know that this is a reality that many people struggle with. Anxiety can play such a huge role in your day to day life and future.


Does anyone let anxiety stop them from succeeding?


Have you avoided success in the past?

 

[liselle]

Pretty much all the time. I had numerous chances to better myself but I chickened out. The more I ran away from things, the more I tell myself "You can't do it" and hid in my comfort zone.


It never really felt like the moment that I had to change and stop being such a baby about everything. I'm trying to improve myself but I tend to jump backwards more than I move forward. It may seem really difficult for you now but it's better for you to reach for success before you develop a habit of turning away from opportunities.

 

[Pandora]

I have forced myself to do many things I thought at the moment I couldn't. However, I am still having issues with finding a job. For one, I live in a place that you have to fit in to get a job and for two, the pay here is horrible! So, I am forcing myself to go out and look for a horrible job knowing that I will get tired of it. I know that is not the right way to think about it but, right now the job searching has my anxiety kicked in big time. I just keep on telling myself, "I can do it!".

 

[gracer]

I can relate well with your situation right now Pandora. The things you've said are also the same things that are happening to me right now. I have a lot of things going on in my mind that are stopping me from getting out there and becoming a productive person. I work online but the pay is not the same as when I used to work on a regular day job. I just have so many things in my mind that are stopping me from trying to find a job outside the 4 corners of my room. Fear of the unknown does play a major role in hindering a person to go for something.

 

[WorkAtHomeGal]

I do remember while I was laid off from a hotel I worked for I was drawing employment insurance that winter and build up the courage to visit a career center place. It was tough I was so scared and shakey but I did it. I didn't really do it though... I did all the steps to fill out the paperwork to have my schooling possibly paid for for an office admin course but once my job called me back into working more hours I stopped the application process. I often feel had I went through with it I could have a certificate and diploma right now but it has been done sadly and can't be changed. My anxiety stops me from doing even the smallest things like leaving the house or seeing my family.

 

[pwarbi]

While I wouldn't say that my anxiety and depression in the past as stopped me from knowing what I want to achieve in life and striving to get it, but at the same time It's made things a lot harder for me to actually get what I want. For a lot of people I think it's all too easy to let your issues take over your life, and while after suffering myself with depression and anxiety for a number of years now, if we are wanting to achieve anything in life then we can't hide behind having those mental health issues.


Don't say I've got depression so I can't try, say I might have depression but that isn't going to stop me trying, because after all, if you don't try and do things for you, then nobody else is going to do it for you.

 

[amy88]

I've always accepted less, I guess you could say. I think I was always afraid to go for my full potential - I'd prefer to be super comfortable at an easy job, than feel challenged and out of my depth in something that pushed me...if that makes sense?


It's funny in a way to me, because everyone here seems incredibly well spoken, has great grammar - I have no doubt that we are all intelligent and capable, it's just sometimes believing in ourselves...I can say that, but putting it in practice is a lot harder.

 

[kelden]

Indeed. I said that in my introduction. I HEAVILY REGRET that I didn't have the courage to work hard for my dreams during younger years for fear to deal with more complicated situations and failure, also because I was already taking it like a granted failure without even trying it. It made me very unhappy in the past and nowadays, I know that I'm stil able to fufill my dreams, but several years ago It could be far easier to achieve because of far more free time.

 

[shcoo]

I definitely stay in a comfort zone and "settle" for making ends meet. Putting myself out there with the potential to be rejected is so difficult and I feel I cannot switch careers now due to that. "Impostor syndrome" is a very real thing and it makes many of us think we do not deserve the success we are handed, or that we are "better on paper" but ultimately let people down in real life.

 

[John Snort]

There actually are many people who aren't willing to "upset the equilibrium." It's just that they've got used to how things are and will not for that reason leave their comfort zone. But life things are always changing and unless you are willing to try new things you'll find that your comfort zone might not be that comfortable after all and you'd be forced to do something you weren't ready to do. That's why there's no need to wait for the worst to happen before you do something. If you can get a job, try to get one. Anxious though you might be initially, you'll get used to working with and interacting with others.

 

[Moroccanbeauty2266]

Trying to get a job can create a lo of anxiety.


You have to be so active and try so hard but it can be worth it.


With time you will get used to it and learn how to deal with certain situations better.

 

[justsayyes]

I've missed out on a lot of opportunities because my nerves are always holding me back. I really hate change and i always cling to my ways and prefer to stay in my comfort zone rather than venture out of it. Everyday i say to myself, i'll go out and send job applications but i keep putting it off. Aside from anxiety and depression, I'm also a big procrastinator, not a good combination i guess.

 

[Bea]

Yes, definitely. Maybe not success itself, but I've thoroughly avoided celebrations of my success. Graduation banquets and parties? Nope, I'm better off staying at home. People want to celebrate my birthday? My parents are asking whether or not I'd like to throw a party? Nope, I'd rather spend time by myself or with just one or two of my closest friends. I don't like big crowds, and even if you say they're there to celebrate my success, I always feel like I'm being judged. Impostor syndrome is what they call it, I think. I don't like standing out - I absolutely hated it when I was being recognized when I did extremely well in a writing program at my school - because I always feel like I can never meet everyone's expectations.

 

[fuzyon]

Definitely, it's a big concern of mine as well. I could be working so much harder throughout the day to accomplish everything I want but anxiety holds me back for some reason, I think I'm scared of being successful because it would be too stressful for me to deal with it. I would hate if I had to work for 12 hours/day to maintain my success level, I wouldn't feel like I'm living life in that situation.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

It definitely does, and not only with success, but it also has been a barrier when it comes to socializing a little bit more with people that are not in my circle of friends... and actually I will probably be traveling to another country on December to work with my uncle for about two months, he needs the help and I need the money, and the idea of going to a different country terrifies me, I understand the language but what if I get stuck, or I'm to scared to talking it aloud? without mentioning all the awkward silences and weird looks that I might get there... But lately I am really pushing myself out of my comfort zone, that's the only way to grow more as a person.