Are you using this forum to get better? Or are you seeking reassurance?

[MATD]

Thanks MATD,

You know, that's the perfect example that fits the last sentence from my previous post. Before 2020 I was someone with a few minor issues with anxiety and, on occasional periods, I don't doubt (in fact, I'm sure) that this forum and the books you recommend would help me a lot.

But since November 2020, my problem is physical and anxiety is a consequence of the physical problem that I have. So, my priority goes to the physical problem as solving it would solve the anxiety along with it.

One can argue that eventually my problem could be psychosomatic and so, the roles are reversed, being the anxiety and repressed emotions the origin of the psychosomatic problem that causes my physical symptoms. I accept that argument, because in fact it is a possibility.

But the symptoms are too real, they started from a specific accident, they never subside at times (as most psychosomatic pains do) and an ENT diagnosed me with permanent damage to the cartilage of the throat. So, it's very hard to keep the faith in the psychosomatic theory and treat the anxiety as if it was at the base of the problem.

Well, that was just some reasoning, I don't want to use this thread to talk about this issue, after all I even have created a thread for that, so I'll leave it with what I said in my previous post, I use this forum to help me look at my problem from different perspective and possibly get better. And I'll take your recommendations and advice in good consideration

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Acceptance is not limited to anxiety disorders but can be utilized to help with current medical or life problems. It helps you to stay focused and let go of unnecessary anxiety caused by these types of problems. Think about it. Which came first, the chicken or the egg. Practicing acceptance can help you find out. Get the anxiety under control so you can focus on the physical. Anxiety is an indicator that something is wrong, but when it gets built up, it takes over logical, clear headed thinking. Acceptance helps clear away the anxiety so we can think clearly and logical again so we can better address the problems we are faced with.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Yes, I know that sooner or later I will have to enter into acceptance mode. Thing is, when I think about it, the idea that fills my mind is "accepting a life of suffering". Unfortunately the terrible symptoms in my throat are not the kind of symptoms that one can live well with and are impossible to ignore. Or maybe I'm a weak person that is not able to deal with it. Time will tell, but I fear the future in ways that I never thought could be even possible.

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[MATD]

Clearing away the anxiety will not make the pain go away, but will enable you to see things in a better light or develop a better outlook. I wish you a good outcome, something you can live with.

 

[Nutmeg]

I use this forum for a distraction, and to be able to speak amongst company that understands. There are some things I can talk about here that would create stigma amongst my ‘real life’ friends. I also gain reassurance from here that many of the things that flare up are temporary, and the good days do return.

I learned the hard way that some things scare the ‘normies’. When I was in my early 20s I explained my eating disorder (it’s just one of the many gifts my OCD brings) to someone I considered a great and trusted friend. She acted supportive to my face, then sent a secret group text to our circle of friends to discuss me. They then attempted to bully it out of me under the guise of concern.

 

[MATD]

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Hi guys,

Unfortunately most of the times I come here to update my situation is out of despair.

Although I know it will not help me objectively, it's good to express what I'm going through and, of course, there's always a small hope that someone reads me and tells me something important. It happened a few times already. Not that it helped me get better, nothing seems to help really, but at least I get different point of views and some good advice.

I wish there was a way (like a technique) that allowed to determine if a health problem is from psychosomatic origins or not and that someone here could teach me about it. But I know it's not possible... or it would be like a miracle.

If it wasn't for the complexity of my situation and I used this forums for occasional anxiety periods, I think it would be a great tool.

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i knew I had read about using acceptance as a tool for chronic pain. I looked it up. It’s called Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Just wanted to pass this info on to you.

 

[Jonathan123]

You can lead the horse to the water but you can’t make them drink.
I can concur with your statement about talking with my own anxiety. It makes me look at myself a little closer and question my own attempts at recovery. Do I take my own advice? Trying to help others is beneficial to one’s self, if you let it be so.

Snap!!! That saying also came to my mind. Over the years on other anxiety sites I have tried to explain that looking for reassurance and being 'jollied along' gives only temporary help. As for talking to our anxiety, yes indeed! Sitting down in as quiet and calm atmosphere as possible and talking to our anxiety can be beneficial. No, I have not flipped!! Ask it about your, life. Ask about what experiences it has that has caused it to be with you. You may be very surprised at the answers you get! I have said make anxiety your friend not your enemy that needs to be fought. Resistance makes everything more acute, more frustrating.

I use this forum for a distraction, and to be able to speak amongst company that understands. There are some things I can talk about here that would create stigma amongst my ‘real life’ friends. I also gain reassurance from here that many of the things that flare up are temporary, and the good days do return.

I learned the hard way that some things scare the ‘normies’. When I was in my early 20s I explained my eating disorder (it’s just one of the many gifts my OCD brings) to someone I considered a great and trusted friend. She acted supportive to my face, then sent a secret group text to our circle of friends to discuss me. They then attempted to bully it out of me under the guise of concern.

Yeah Nutmeg, this happens far more than we realise. They just don't understand, and talking to such people is a big NO,NO! As my GAD went on, (many years ago now), I found I could sort the sheep from the goats. I could feel when talking about anxiety if that person was capable of understanding. There will always be what I call the 'pull yourself tougher' brigade. 'Snap out of it', 'Don't be so childish', and more. They should be ignored because they can be 'vexatious to your spirit'. NEVER enter into a discussion with them about anxiety.
What has really annoyed me over the years is that those who criticise make no attempt to understand. Most so called 'normal' people
will talk endlessly about their physical illnesses, but when it come to mental ones they avoid the subject. 'There but for the grace of God go I'.

 

[Jonathan123]

If a physical problem exists then it's obviously going to cause anxiety even in none anxiety sufferers. My point in my previous post was that it's still anxiety no matter what the cause. So called normal people will have anxiety, but it does not get out of control as it does with anxiety sufferers, and when the danger passes or some reasonable explanation is given they lose it. Not so with anxiety sufferers. We add fear to fear and so perpetuate the problem. People who don't suffer with anxiety will often wonder what all the fuss is about. To them most things are normal life events, not worthy of worry. But to a sufferer even very small events can grow into big ones. Triggers are there and often 24/7. I remember hearing two men arguing and getting very angry when I had GAD. It took days to get over it. Now imagine what a so called normal person would make of that.! On the face of it it's ridiculous, but when we understand anxiety it's not so.