Are you up front about your anxiety to people?

[KellyLake]

Are you open about your anxiety to people in your everyday life, or even strangers that you interact with? Personally I have never regretted being honest with someone, and most of the time it actually makes things less awkward. I used to just walk around thinking everyone could just tell that I suffered from anxiety and that's why I was antisocial or didn't go anywhere - and that definitely wasn't the case.


When I was in my early twenties my anxiety was a lot worse, and one winter I hardly left the house. My housemate always would go out to the bar with a girlfriend of hers. They would invite me, I assumed just to be polite, and I would always just make an excuse. Needless to say I never got to know her friend very well, until one day her car broke down. My housemate didn't drive, and asked me if I could pick up her friend. At some point during the drive I mentioned that the reason I never left the house was because I had anxiety. She was like "YOU DO? So do I! I thought you just were snobby or didn't like me!". She turned out to be one of my best friends, and I still feel bad that she spent a year thinking I didn't like her! After that experience I realized that 'fessing up to it actually felt pretty good. We are now in our late 20's and for the most part have overcome our anxiety.

 

[lexinonomous]

I am only upfront about my anxiety if it is necessary. I don't like telling people about my anxiety issues at random. Many people assume that I'm being dramatic or attention seeking. What baffles me is that people would want to brag about anxiety. It's such a terrible thing to experience.


I will tell a person about my anxiety if I'm going to be placed into an anxious situation with them. I think it's only fair to earn a person that has to spend a lengthy amount of time with me.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

No, I keep my anxiety to myself. I have tried voicing my anxiety to some friends. What I am worried about is that I would not have enough time left to do what I want to do, before I go for good. Somehow, when I tell my friends about this anxiety, their words of consolation and encouragement does not make any positive impact on me. Somehow it's seems to be a bit contrived and a bit hollow. So now I keep my anxiety to myself. I tell myself that I am the only one who's really affected by this anxiety. Why burden other people with this problem since only I myself can do something about it.

 

[KellyLake]

I will tell a person about my anxiety if I'm going to be placed into an anxious situation with them. I think it's only fair to earn a person that has to spend a lengthy amount of time with me.

That's pretty much what I meant. I remember once I was getting my hair done and right in the middle of it, I felt a panic attack coming. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and stayed in there until it subsided, probably about 30 minutes. When I came out I felt the need to explain what had happened. When I was younger I might have just came out and not said anything, and just felt awkward the rest of the time.

No' date=' I keep my anxiety to myself. I have tried voicing my anxiety to some friends. What I am worried about is that I would not have enough time left to do what I want to do, before I go for good. Somehow, when I tell my friends about this anxiety, their words of consolation and encouragement does not make any positive impact on me. Somehow it's seems to be a bit contrived and a bit hollow. So now I keep my anxiety to myself. I tell myself that I am the only one who's really affected by this anxiety. Why burden other people with this problem since only I myself can do something about it.[/quote']
I am so sorry you have had that experience! It is hard not feeling understood, and I feel like there are still so many misconceptions about living with anxiety. I agree that useless platitudes tend to only make one feel lonelier, but you should never feel like you are a burden just because others do not understand.

 

[John Snort]

You could tell the people closest to you about your anxiety because they'll be expecting that you'll be doing a lot of things with them anyway. Maybe being upfront about your anxiety could give them a good reason to stop trying to get you to do things you may not be willing to. However there's no reason why you should tell strangers about your anxiety. How would they react? It's something you certainly don't want to find out because their reaction if it is negative, could make your anxiety even worse.

 

[listener1987]

There was a similar thread about this and I shared the same story:


When I met my sister's boyfriend, he told me he had social anxiety almost the moment after I met him. It was incredibly awkward - and I say that as someone who has dealt with anxiety and depression myself, and who talks to a lot of other sufferers as well.


If you feel like it's relevant to the conversation, like in your example, then that's fine. But don't make it part of your identity. "Hi, I'm Kelly and I have GAD." (Just don't do that!)

 

[Alex]

I think John Snort is right in that telling those who are close to you, (and living with you is close) is fine, because they will see this and may need confirmation. For example if work colleagues keep asking you out and you turn them down, then you could tell one you know well why. From my own experience I do think it is best kept private and should only be revealed in certain circumstances, and only to people you can trust.


People that don't understand anxiety will back away, and some people will see a declaration as a means of wanting to be treated favorably. One should be aware that being open to the wrong people can have adverse effects.

 

[gracer]

Actually, I have only been very open about my anxiety and other frustrations through forums and online communities. I have never been upfront about it with people around me. I found that I am able to express myself more on the internet because it's where I found acceptance and consolation. I guess it's really on a case-to-case basis. I really admire the people who can easily share their anxiety to people around them. I wish I could have that kind of courage soon.

 

[fcuco]

No, I avoid the subject and I actually hate when people bring it up, for instance I was talking to this girl the other day that was continuously brining up the fact that I don't look people in the eyes when I talk. The conversation turned awkward pretty quickly. Since I can function without much trouble when faced with social situations apart for those small quirks like avoiding eye contact and having trouble talking on the phone I simply avoid talking about my social anxiety, I don't think that it helps at all and I would rather keep it to myself, I don't see any benefit to sharing it with people.


I always think that people will look at you differently and judge you for that, so I avoid it.

 

[VanM]

Well anxiety is a little bit misunderstood condition from where I come from, so my friend, who is the main reason why I'm here in the first place, really opens up about the condition only with true close friends. Otherwise, people misjudge and just blatantly tell him to "just keep your sh*t together" or something like that.

 

[Panic57]

I grew up in a very traditional home where you were expected to be personally responsibility for your problems. A diagnostic of your problems wasn't a free pass to just dump your problems on anyone, not even family. The only one I was encouraged to talk openly about my problems was to God, alone in my room. So I'm not in the practice of telling anyone close to me about my anxiety. Half the time I tell my mom it's an asthma attack so she'll take it seriously. I can't imagine just telling a stranger about my problems.

 

[SirJoe]

No, I don't, I think that if I did it would draw attention to myself and make the situation worse. There is nothing worse then being anxious and someone turning to you five in five minutes and asking you whether you are better when you clearly are not but have to say that you are.

 

[justsayyes]

Not really, i don't want them to think I'm a freak or treat me differently and i think most people aren't really familiar with anxiety anyway, they just think you're being dramatic and trying to get attention.

 

[djordjem87]

Not actually. I am very open here but with people that surround me I am very closed. Only few people really knew what was going on with me recently and to be fair enough I share present happiness with them as well. I am quite sure that there is a reason for my behaviour. I always felt it was hard for me to open up to people. Here is very different and it is a new experience to me. I have noticed that it really is helping me. It's like an online therapist. I have less and less anxiety problem and the only thing that is persistent is OCD but I am not making an actual effort on that issue so ...

 

[captaintoastedwaffle]

Not really, I would never tell anyone I am not very close with. Even then I find it hard to tell them, because sometimes my anxiety makes me feel as though I am just making it all up in my head and am using it as an excuse for being a terrible person. My closest friends know, however only one of them truly understands it, being a sufferer of anxiety herself. The others try to understand and accomodate but I can tell they sometimes get frustrated with me not being able to do certain things.

 

[DDNatureLover]

I've learned that information gives people power, and so I'm judicious about sharing my personal details. I've had things used against me in the past by a few people, and so have become more closed off, and less liberal about those I share information with. If it's a support group that's different, since it's the purpose of the group. If I happen to be around someone who's going through a difficult situation themselves, and me sharing will help them out, and won't cause problems for me, I will do it.


I do agree, sometimes being reserved due to anxiety can be perceived as being snobby, or looking down on others, but that's usually due to insecurities on the part of those people making the judgments, and if enough time is spent together, eventually my true self will come out.

 

[kelden]

I was up front with my teachers about my anxiety issues during tests. They understood my problem but didn't gave me any special treatment because it could be very unfair with other classmates, thus my teached decided to give more time to finish a test to all classroom due to my anxiety disorder. That was pretty nice, this really helped me to ace the exams because I was more relaxed.

 

[kcareconnections]

I think I am half and half. There are certain people and situations in which I feel I will be judged for my anxiety. I try to hide it as best I can-though this does not always work well. But then there are times where I am struggling so much, I feel it is best to just tell people I have anxiety. Then they might better understanding why I am acting a certain way or why I am being so quiet or shy. I find that some people are really receptive to knowing about your anxiety. A lot of people deal with it on some level or another.

 

[redpanda]

I don't tell people unless I already know them fairly well. A lot of people don't understand how anxiety disorders work or they think that I'm just trying to get out of doing things. Admittedly, most people that I tell are understanding. I'm actually less likely to mention my bipolar disorder, there's a ton of stigma associated with it. The media doesn't help, especially when they randomly label criminals and violent people as "bipolar". Half the time they don't even understand the disorder.

 

[thecorinthian]

I'm never upfront about my anxiety I always thought it was glaringly obvious through the way I act which is awkward, nervous and somewhat stand-offish. Now, through your story I think I should be knowing better. Maybe talking to people about my anxiety will help I'm just afraid they'll look down on me or something but I guess trying is the first step.