So here is my story.
I'm new here firstly.
I have pharmacophobia and because of it I have general anxiety disorder as well. I am a healthy 26 year old woman. When I was 18 I went through a bad break up with a long term boyfriend, I ended up then dabbling in some ecstacy and smoking weed while partying almost every weekend, i totally over did the ecstacy and one night after the party I was battling to come down and ended up smoking more weed and all of a sudden panic hit me like a ton of bricks, never have experienced any type of phobia or panic attack until that evening. My palms started sweating, my arms where tingling and I started seeing Grey spots, at this point I'm convinced I'm dying and start panicking like extreme, heart racing, arms tingling wanting to vomit kind of panic attacks one after each other for a solid few hours, I so badly wanted to go to the emergency room but of cause my friends knew I was freaking out from over doing the drugs. Anyway from that night on I never ever touched another pill or weed ever again, but the anxiety and panic attacks had just started for me, the following 8 months I battled it daily, I lost weight, vomitted my life out and spent almost every day unaware of what was happening and convinced myself it was a chemical reaction to all the drugs I had done and I was loosing my mind and stuck that way forever. I eventually saw countless doctors and was reffered to a therapist, did some cbt and was anxiety free for almost 2 years, mind you I developed pharmacophobia, the fear of taking any medication because of the fear of the side effects. During those 2 free anxiety years I never got sick, if I did I wouldn't take meds, I refused point blank. Anyway I fell pregnant and the anxiety started again with a vengeance, It was a daily struggle to get those vitamins down. Then I had to have a c section and had a complete break down due to the medications and things I had to have after the birth, my pharmacophobia was at an all time high and with it came extreme panic attacks to the point of sedation which as you can imagine, fueled my pharmacophobia and so the vicious circle continued. I am now 5 months pp and still battling with my anxiety and pharmacophobia, every time I feel like I have a handle on the anxiety I get a new anxiety symptom. For instance I never got that shortness of breath feeling when I have a panic attack until recently, never had the numbness feeling as well. I realize I need to sort out this pharmacophobia, but I am absolutely freaken terrified of trying to take any medication, it sets me off on a array of thoughts ultimately always ending in adverse reactions. On the few occasions I had tried to take a harmless med I had taken before the pharmacophobia without any reactions, my mind goes to "I've developed an allergy now later in life to a specific ingredient, my chemical balance has changed due to drug use thus I could have a adverse reaction etc" the list goes on and on, even aware now in my non panic state that It sounds far fetched, in those moments to me it is completely believable. The what if is too strong.
Anyone out there with pharmacophobia? How are you dealing? What can I do?
Help, I need to get better and normal for my baby boy.
I'm new here firstly.
I have pharmacophobia and because of it I have general anxiety disorder as well. I am a healthy 26 year old woman. When I was 18 I went through a bad break up with a long term boyfriend, I ended up then dabbling in some ecstacy and smoking weed while partying almost every weekend, i totally over did the ecstacy and one night after the party I was battling to come down and ended up smoking more weed and all of a sudden panic hit me like a ton of bricks, never have experienced any type of phobia or panic attack until that evening. My palms started sweating, my arms where tingling and I started seeing Grey spots, at this point I'm convinced I'm dying and start panicking like extreme, heart racing, arms tingling wanting to vomit kind of panic attacks one after each other for a solid few hours, I so badly wanted to go to the emergency room but of cause my friends knew I was freaking out from over doing the drugs. Anyway from that night on I never ever touched another pill or weed ever again, but the anxiety and panic attacks had just started for me, the following 8 months I battled it daily, I lost weight, vomitted my life out and spent almost every day unaware of what was happening and convinced myself it was a chemical reaction to all the drugs I had done and I was loosing my mind and stuck that way forever. I eventually saw countless doctors and was reffered to a therapist, did some cbt and was anxiety free for almost 2 years, mind you I developed pharmacophobia, the fear of taking any medication because of the fear of the side effects. During those 2 free anxiety years I never got sick, if I did I wouldn't take meds, I refused point blank. Anyway I fell pregnant and the anxiety started again with a vengeance, It was a daily struggle to get those vitamins down. Then I had to have a c section and had a complete break down due to the medications and things I had to have after the birth, my pharmacophobia was at an all time high and with it came extreme panic attacks to the point of sedation which as you can imagine, fueled my pharmacophobia and so the vicious circle continued. I am now 5 months pp and still battling with my anxiety and pharmacophobia, every time I feel like I have a handle on the anxiety I get a new anxiety symptom. For instance I never got that shortness of breath feeling when I have a panic attack until recently, never had the numbness feeling as well. I realize I need to sort out this pharmacophobia, but I am absolutely freaken terrified of trying to take any medication, it sets me off on a array of thoughts ultimately always ending in adverse reactions. On the few occasions I had tried to take a harmless med I had taken before the pharmacophobia without any reactions, my mind goes to "I've developed an allergy now later in life to a specific ingredient, my chemical balance has changed due to drug use thus I could have a adverse reaction etc" the list goes on and on, even aware now in my non panic state that It sounds far fetched, in those moments to me it is completely believable. The what if is too strong.
Anyone out there with pharmacophobia? How are you dealing? What can I do?
Help, I need to get better and normal for my baby boy.
