Anybody ever feel victimized by medications? Long read....

[Matticus1983]

38 now. For 18-20 years I have always been on something. I've been diagnosed with everything from anxiety,panic disorder, bipolar 2, etc. Now for the last 10 years just anxiety. That's right; beats me too! -. But anyway I haven't been able to be free from medication since I left high school in 02'. Sometimes I feel like a victim of an overreactive medical system that throws drugs at a situation all too carelessly. For instance one time several years back I took Lithium, then Depakote, and antipsychotics because a psychiatrist and my wife swore I had a bipolar spectrum disorder; when in all truth it was just a frustration and anger response from not treating my anxiety. "I assume I'm not Bipolar anyway given that since my anxiety is dampened so are my moods." Im in the middle of switching up meds again because one had terrible side effects! Weight gain, low sex drive, confusion --you know the wrap. Then i'm on three mgs of Klonopin a day which makes me forgetful and stupefied sometimes. I guess in a way I am in control of what I take just like everyone else but once I get on these meds it always feels like I'm held captive. Too scared to switch, or taper. I overthink them in a way which makes the medications seem like devil's in disguise which then make me feel so different than everyone else adding to my social anxiety. Its like damned If I do, damned if I don't. Then there are thoughts that this medicine is gonna kill me or hurt my physical health, I mean WTH are these brain zaps DOC?. So while taking something that could be helping my anxiety, I ruin the response by having anxiety about the medication. Make sense? Can anyone feel me? Finally I also have the thought that-----wait a sec' forgot what I was gonna say-----Oh yeah... that my brain has been synthesized by medications, cant do without them, like what If WW3 broke out and I couldn't get these things? Would I die of withdrawal? People like to compare anxiety and depression with diabetes but is it so immanent that I live withese drugs affecting my brain everyday, I guess in a way If I get suicidal yea. I know everyone has the thought: what would it be like If for one week I didn't have to take anything and had no withdrawal, would I be ok? Panic disorder and fear brought me to this point I guess, the point where I have to be on something because of my dna or hereditary traits. Would love some feedback! There are really no questions other than have you ever felt this way? Thanks guys. Everyone is very helpful! There just doesnt seem to be enough knowledge in the scientific/psychiatric community about how things affect people. But yet I will continue my meds because physically it would be hell and I know mentally would follow

 

[am6985]

I have not had that experience. I am fairly new to medication and it’s only one at a small dose. I do believe it is a real thing and the day before you posted this I was talking to my friend who is on a ton of different meds about it.


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[E.B]

Funny, I've been on med a similar amount of time. I'd say 95sh until now, with a small break...I am 41. I started in 95 on Prozac for about a day or 2 and it broke me out real bad. Then switched to paxil. In around 2017 I went off paxil cold turkey...had some of the known side affects but made it... probably 5 or 6 months later I started having really bad anxiety, stuff I have never really experienced before or at least not to the extent. One psychiatrist who I briefly saw said it could of very well still been because of going off the med. I went back on sertraline and am currently still on. It seems to help but I often wonder as well what the future holds with the med...will i be taking for life? Etc..I think I've been on so long it certainly has affected parts of me when it comes to emotions....kind of "deadened" feelings but we shall persevere.

 

[suzzeeb]

I guess my feeling is if you feel like you have a better quality of life on the medications then it's worth it, but if you are still struggling a lot on them you probably do need to either switch or taper off and see how you do? I am terrified of medications and feel horrible whenever I start antidepressants so I never stay on them long enough to see how much they might help. Some people take them and feel a lot better so in that case it's worth it, but if on them you still have a hard time then I'm not sure what the point is. I take a small amount of Klonopin and that's enough to make me feel groggy and no energy so I think I just can't really tolerate medications well. It's a really hard thing to navigate I think. Every doctor has their own way of treating things. My last doctor basically told me he did not want me to take Klonopin anymore even though I was only taking a 0.5 before bed to help with sleep and sometimes only half of that, so I switched to another doctor who said that was such a small amount he wasn't worried about it. If they can't agree then how in the heck are we supposed to figure it out? I think the best answer is to find a really good psychiatrist, which is probably hard to do right now, but that would be the best bet for getting medications right. Also, and this is weird, but there is a radio broadcast called New Life Live and they are all licensed psychologists and you can call in and talk to them and they are amazing at pointing you in the right direction and giving advice on how to get on the right path for whatever your issues are. They are christians but that doesn't really change the advice they give. They are for medications and finding the right ones. You can look them up on line and get the phone number and see when they take calls. I have called before and they give super good advice even better than what I've gotten during counseling. Just a thought.