Anxiety really bad need help and advice

[matisworried]

Yeah I talked to my therapist again I don’t really understand much about anxiety as I’ve only recently been diagnosed with mental health issues she talked to me more in depth about it and I’ve downloaded an that helps with it and I’ve started to get better control over the panic attacks these last few days or I’ve at least tried it’s hard but I want to put the effort in to get better I’m seeing my doctor again this week sorry if I’ve been a pain I appreciate the help I guess sometimes I panic I come on here a write down exactly how I’m feeling in that moment it feels good to do that and get it off my chest but maybe that’s not the best idea I’ve started eating better though and I’ve tried distracting myself more I guess I just need to learn more about anxiety and maybe that will help but thanks to everyone that has helped sorry to a burden hopefully things will get better soon

you don't need to apologize. it's definitely no one's intentions to make you feel like a burden. we all know what you're going through and have been in your shoes at some point in our lives. we're here to help... but sometimes part of helping is telling people things they might not want to hear. right now, you're on a mission to find reassurance that everything is ok but you're never going to find it as long as you've convinced yourself you're dying. while this thread has a lot of great information for you (and hopefully others), it has frequently enabled your cycle of worry/reassurance, which only fuels your anxiety.

what you need to do is take the time and energy that you're spending worrying about bowel cancer and use it to learn about your anxiety instead. whenever the thought creeps in to your brain that you might have bowel cancer, you should read an article about anxiety and how to manage it. with how often it seems you think about it, you'll become a pro in no time.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

You have not been a pain or a burden. We all know what you’re going through. I was just as bad, if not worse when I first went through this. Even my wife started to get frustrated with me. We are happy to help but we don’t want to build bad habits (seeking reassurance) for you because that isn’t going to help anything. We’ve given you techniques, we’ve told you what you should and shouldn’t look for on google, we’ve even given advice about what you need to tell your doctors. From here you just have to put all of that into practice. I know that you still feel everything, it won’t go away overnight. The thing is that now you really have to bring yourself to believe that you are not sick or dying. You have to believe that it’s anxiety and work to treat that while not worrying about physical problems. Coming here to ask if you’re ok again and again isn’t going to help if you can’t convince yourself.

Thanks I appreciate the help I’m really trying not to get anxious it’s hard but I’m trying I’m seeing my therapist again tomorrow so hopefully that will help

you don't need to apologize. it's definitely no one's intentions to make you feel like a burden. we all know what you're going through and have been in your shoes at some point in our lives. we're here to help... but sometimes part of helping is telling people things they might not want to hear. right now, you're on a mission to find reassurance that everything is ok but you're never going to find it as long as you've convinced yourself you're dying. while this thread has a lot of great information for you (and hopefully others), it has frequently enabled your cycle of worry/reassurance, which only fuels your anxiety.

what you need to do is take the time and energy that you're spending worrying about bowel cancer and use it to learn about your anxiety instead. whenever the thought creeps in to your brain that you might have bowel cancer, you should read an article about anxiety and how to manage it. with how often it seems you think about it, you'll become a pro in no time.

Thanks I didn’t know reassurance could also be bad sometimes I’ve still got a lot to learn but I’m willing to put the effort in as if that’s what it takes for me to get better I’ll do anything hopefully things start to get better

 

[matisworried]

Thanks I appreciate the help I’m really trying not to get anxious it’s hard but I’m trying I’m seeing my therapist again tomorrow so hopefully that will help

Thanks I didn’t know reassurance could also be bad sometimes I’ve still got a lot to learn but I’m willing to put the effort in as if that’s what it takes for me to get better I’ll do anything hopefully things start to get better

reassurance is bad when it doesn't reassure. this is a common trap people like us run into:

* you get anxious over having a disease or illness. this is only made worse by googling or obsessing over the idea.
* you make a doctor's appointment, confide in a loved one or turn to an internet message board looking for reassurance you're ok.
* doctor, loved one and/or internet strangers tells you you're fine.
* if you're lucky, you get some relief. maybe for a few hours. maybe a few days... but then... anxiety creeps back in, usually worse than the last time.
* because you're anxiety is heightened, you engage in the same reassuring behavior looking for relief.
* the whole cycle repeats itself.

when you fall into this cycle, you don't improve. the collateral damage is that you make unnecessary trips to the doctor, receive unnecessary tests, waste the time of doctors who could be treating people that are actually ill, potentially rack up huge medical bills and you risk straining personal relationships because the very nature of this cycle is draining and frustrating for those that are watching you go through it...

it's not something you want to get trapped in.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

reassurance is bad when it doesn't reassure. this is a common trap people like us run into:

* you get anxious over having a disease or illness. this is only made worse by googling or obsessing over the idea.
* you make a doctor's appointment, confide in a loved one or turn to an internet message board looking for reassurance you're ok.
* doctor, loved one and/or internet strangers tells you you're fine. you get temporary relief from your anxiety.
* if you're lucky, you get some relief. maybe for a few hours. maybe a few days... but then... anxiety creeps back in, usually worse than the last time.
* because you're anxiety is heightened, you engage in the same reassuring behavior looking for relief.
* the whole cycle repeats itself.

when you fall into this cycle, you don't improve. the collateral damage is that you make unnecessary trips to the doctor, receive unnecessary testing, waste the time of doctors who could be treating people that are actually ill, potentially rack up huge medical bills, you risk strain personal relationships because the very nature of this cycle is draining and frustrating for those that are watching you go through it...

it's not something you want to get trapped in.

Yeah some of those things have happened to me but thanks for explaining it to me I understand what you mean it’s not to do but bad as well saw my therapist today and she gave me some more techniques for panic attacks what I wanted to ask was someone mentioned an app called head space to me has anyone on here used it or something similar if so did it help

 

[chiliphil1]

Yeah some of those things have happened to me but thanks for explaining it to me I understand what you mean it’s not to do but bad as well saw my therapist today and she gave me some more techniques for panic attacks what I wanted to ask was someone mentioned an app called head space to me has anyone on here used it or something similar if so did it help

Yes, headspace is a great app. Another one is called calm, both of them are guided meditation and mindfulness. They can help you to learn to calm yourself and look at situations differently. I would highly recommend something like that for you.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

Yes, headspace is a great app. Another one is called calm, both of them are guided meditation and mindfulness. They can help you to learn to calm yourself and look at situations differently. I would highly recommend something like that for you.

Ok I’ll try them hopefully they help ive been doing better with the thoughts but every now and again they keep creeping up on me is it Just a case of keeping calm till you feel better

 

[chiliphil1]

Ok I’ll try them hopefully they help ive been doing better with the thoughts but every now and again they keep creeping up on me is it Just a case of keeping calm till you feel better

Exactly right and the more you do it the better you’ll get at it.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

Exactly right and the more you do it the better you’ll get at it.

Ok just trying to keep going and hopefully I’ll start to feel better soon is it possible after being ok for awhile to relapse into anxiety again and if so is it easier to get through the next time

 

[chiliphil1]

Ok just trying to keep going and hopefully I’ll start to feel better soon is it possible after being ok for awhile to relapse into anxiety again and if so is it easier to get through the next time

Yes and yes. Anxiety will creep back in on you from time to time. It’s almost like once you experience it your body changes and it makes you more likely to have it again. It sucks but it is what it is.

Once you get past it though you’ll look at anxiety differently. You’ll be in disbelief that things ever got that bad and from now on you’ll be able to tell the difference between anxiety and an actual health problem. If it ever comes up again you’ll be familiar with the signs and symptoms. You won’t be caught off guard. That’s why the first time someone goes through it is so bad, because all of these things are happening and we have no idea what’s going on which adds to the panic. The second time you know what’s happening so it doesn’t drive you into the intense panic and it’s much easier to maintain. As I mentioned earlier in this thread you can even get to the point that you can stop a panic attack before it even happens making them powerless.

It gets better, I promise. This is the hardest it will ever be and if you can get through this you will be just fine.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

Yes and yes. Anxiety will creep back in on you from time to time. It’s almost like once you experience it your body changes and it makes you more likely to have it again. It sucks but it is what it is.

Once you get past it though you’ll look at anxiety differently. You’ll be in disbelief that things ever got that bad and from now on you’ll be able to tell the difference between anxiety and an actual health problem. If it ever comes up again you’ll be familiar with the signs and symptoms. You won’t be caught off guard. That’s why the first time someone goes through it is so bad, because all of these things are happening and we have no idea what’s going on which adds to the panic. The second time you know what’s happening so it doesn’t drive you into the intense panic and it’s much easier to maintain. As I mentioned earlier in this thread you can even get to the point that you can stop a panic attack before it even happens making them powerless.

It gets better, I promise. This is the hardest it will ever be and if you can get through this you will be just fine.

Ok I thought that may be the case but at least I’ll know next time if it happens one thing I was wondering if you have any pointers on is staying away from google and am i doing the right thing by avoiding certain triggers like the news

 

[chiliphil1]

Ok I thought that may be the case but at least I’ll know next time if it happens one thing I was wondering if you have any pointers on is staying away from google and am i doing the right thing by avoiding certain triggers like the news

Not really, staying away is just a matter of willpower or simply redirection. If you get the urge to google just look up something useful. Anxiety symptoms or relief, maybe something that you’re interested in like a hobby. You just have to convince yourself that you’re ok and you don’t need to check google.

As far as avoiding triggers, yes, I think it is good for the time being. You’ll have to ease yourself back into it but for now yes, just avoid it and when you feel like you can just go back to it slowly.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

Not really, staying away is just a matter of willpower or simply redirection. If you get the urge to google just look up something useful. Anxiety symptoms or relief, maybe something that you’re interested in like a hobby. You just have to convince yourself that you’re ok and you don’t need to check google.

As far as avoiding triggers, yes, I think it is good for the time being. You’ll have to ease yourself back into it but for now yes, just avoid it and when you feel like you can just go back to it slowly.

Ok I’ll try that and I’ve trying to avoid things on my phone and stuff that could trigger but I guess it’s hare when you are out and you see something that could trigger you

Not really, staying away is just a matter of willpower or simply redirection. If you get the urge to google just look up something useful. Anxiety symptoms or relief, maybe something that you’re interested in like a hobby. You just have to convince yourself that you’re ok and you don’t need to check google.

As far as avoiding triggers, yes, I think it is good for the time being. You’ll have to ease yourself back into it but for now yes, just avoid it and when you feel like you can just go back to it slowly.

I’ve tried to not pay attention to the symptoms but I’m still having upper stomach pain is definitely the anxiety or should I just take paracetamol or something as well

 

[Grey dolphin333]

Not really, staying away is just a matter of willpower or simply redirection. If you get the urge to google just look up something useful. Anxiety symptoms or relief, maybe something that you’re interested in like a hobby. You just have to convince yourself that you’re ok and you don’t need to check google.

As far as avoiding triggers, yes, I think it is good for the time being. You’ll have to ease yourself back into it but for now yes, just avoid it and when you feel like you can just go back to it slowly.

I feel like a failure the thoughts are stronger about being scared of stomach cancer because I’ve had trapped wind for two weeks now and upper stomach pain I just don’t know what to do I just want to get better this is so frustrating

 

[matisworried]

I feel like a failure the thoughts are stronger about being scared of stomach cancer because I’ve had trapped wind for two weeks now and upper stomach pain I just don’t know what to do I just want to get better this is so frustrating

your anxiety-based symptoms won't go away until your anxiety is under control. it is not reasonable or rational to jump to stomach cancer because you can't fart when there are a million of common things that cause that including anxiety- induced IBS.

*post edited to remove reassurance

 

[Grey dolphin333]

your anxiety-based symptoms won't go away until your anxiety is under control. it is not reasonable or rational to jump to stomach cancer because you can't fart when there are a million of common things that cause that including anxiety- induced IBS.

*post edited to remove reassurance

I know I just feel frustrated because I had like 3 better days and then today felt worse just feel a bit like a let down I’m really trying but it just frustrating when I get knocked back again

 

[matisworried]

I know I just feel frustrated because I had like 3 better days and then today felt worse just feel a bit like a let down I’m really trying but it just frustrating when I get knocked back again

even with all i know about (my) anxiety and all of the time and effort i've spent trying to "get better" i still have bad days or times when it's harder to cope than others. this is when you need need to double down on your effort, resist the urge to get frustrated or down on yourself and focus on getting better.

it's just like going on a diet. sometimes you slip up and have a candy bar (the candy bar is your anxiety.) after your slip up, your choice is to either give up on your diet (therapy and self-help in your case) and get fatter (more anxious) or realize that you're a human being with a weight problem (an anxiety disorder) and you're going to slip up and make mistakes while on your weight loss (mental health) journey.

stay positive. you're at the very beginning of recovery.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

even with all i know about (my) anxiety and all of the time and effort i've spent trying to "get better" i still have bad days or times when it's harder to cope than others. this is when you need need to double down on your effort, resist the urge to get frustrated or down on yourself and focus on getting better.

it's just like going on a diet. sometimes you slip up and have a candy bar (the candy bar is your anxiety.) after your slip up, your choice is to either give up on your diet (therapy and self-help in your case) and get fatter (more anxious) or realize that you're a human being with a weight problem (an anxiety disorder) and you're going to slip up and make mistakes while on your weight loss (mental health) journey.

stay positive. you're at the very beginning of recovery.

Thanks that’s a good way to think of it I’ll try to remember that I guess I’m just hard on myself sometimes because you feel like you take two steps forward and twenty back as long as it’s normal to have a set back and still get through it then that’s fine

 

[matisworried]

Thanks that’s a good way to think of it I’ll try to remember that I guess I’m just hard on myself sometimes because you feel like you take two steps forward and twenty back as long as it’s normal to have a set back and still get through it then that’s fine

your anxiety will never go away but you can manage it.

i look at slip ups as learning experiences. after the anxiety has passed, i try to reflect back on everything and see if i can figure out why i got so anxious and what i could do next time to prevent it from happening again.

 

[Grey dolphin333]

your anxiety will never go away but you can manage it.

i look at slip ups as learning experiences. after the anxiety has passed, i try to reflect back on everything and see if i can figure out why i got so anxious and what i could do next time to prevent it from happening again.

I just feel ashamed when I slip up like guilty I guess I mean I had three good days where I tried to not get anxious about my stomach but then I slipped up again is it possible to feel anxious for no reason

 

[matisworried]

I just feel ashamed when I slip up like guilty I guess I mean I had three good days where I tried to not get anxious about my stomach but then I slipped up again is it possible to feel anxious for no reason

i completely understand feeling that way feeling ashamed and guilty... but here's the thing... anxiety is an illness. if you had a physical illness would you feel that way if it flared up again? probably not. don't be ashamed. don't feel guilty. neither of those feelings will do you any good anyway. when your anxiety knocks you to the ground, just get back up, brush yourself off and keep going.

and to answer your question, our brains are wired to be anxious. there doesn't need to be an obvious reason for it. in your situation, there's a very obvious reason though - you're still anxious about your stomach. have you been to your therapist anymore? is there anything you've learned that have been helpful? i think for you, a big hurdle will be learning to talk about your anxiety instead of the disease you think you have.