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Anxiety problems...

GirlN1

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Hello, new member here. Just wanted to share an issue I've been having and maybe if you have a piece of advice or you could share your story you could help.

I work remotely for the past few years, with people from different countries, we only communicate by mail and that's something I chose. When someone asked to call or do a video call I always politely declined, with a reasonable excuse. (time zone differences, having a written mail for reference for the job etc)
The real reason though is my anxiety. I dread having to call a stranger. Partly because I think I have a terrible accent and I fear I won't communicate well (I'm not native English speaker) and I won't be able to express my thoughts correctly so one would assume I'm not an expert in my field or a professional.

The other issue is with some clients wanting to meet in person by coming to my city. Literally I feel covid saved me because a client came to a near city but we couldn't meet because of the situation.
I fear when we meet they will be disappointed, they will think I'm not what they thought I was and may not want to work with me again.
I have gained a lot of weight in 2020 due to a surgery, wasn't allowed to any form of exercise for months and then because of quarantine, I turned to food for comfort. Recipe for disaster.
I'm working towards getting better physically but my confidence is in its lowest point ever. I don't want to meet anyone new at this point, just want to hide until I'm back where I was physically a year ago. People I already know comment on how much weight I put on and this is making things worse, so naturally I assume a stranger would have the same reaction, thinking I'm lazy and focusing on how I look instead of what I can do.
Any advice welcome...
 

Cuchculan

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I am sure you are a great worker. That to me would matter most. Who does the best job. I used to hate talking on phones too. Used to stutter big time. Then I told myself the other person could not see me. I could be sitting their naked for all they knew. :p The more I looked at it that way, the better I got when on the phone. I simply slowed myself down. Took a deep breath. Relaxed. Spoke when I was ready. I even began to do this outside of the house too. The stutter vanished. More I spoke, the better I became at it. The phone one you can try that. Think of the fact that you don't even have to see a face. Even make up what you think they might look like. In a funny sort of way. Just to relax yourself.

I think as far as looks are concerned, it is more of a self esteem issue. How you see yourself and how you think others will see you. Not everybody in this world is like a model. That would be one boring world. People come in all shapes and sizes. If we learn to accept that fact, we will learn to love ourselves for who we are and how we look. Like I said, with work, it is all about getting results. I am sure you get results. Why should anything else matter? Just be yourself. I am sure you are a beautiful person.
 
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