Anxiety over Dead Air

[misszerable]

Whenever I have to go on a long trip with a senior executive or the company owner, I was always anxious that we'll run out of topic to talk about during the trip. It's like I feel that it's my responsibility to keep the conversation going and that he/she will have a poor impression of me if I fail to keep it up. Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

[John Snort]

Actually, the exec is the one is supposed to keep the conversation going if they so desire. I remember when I had to hang out with my boss, he's the one who would be uncomfortable if there was some silence. So next time you are going on a long trip with your boss, let them do all the talking for a change.

 

[clair02]

I think the best thing for you is to try to train yourself into becoming comfortable with silence. You don't always have to be talking, but there is a big difference between comfortable silence and awkward silence, and it's all in the mind. What if the people you are with would actually prefer a bit of peace and quiet and you're just jabbering on and on? You never know what people prefer, so I think it would serve you well to just do what makes you feel better. Talk or don't talk, as long as you are comfortable.

 

[Sue]

I always feel that way when I have to spend any length of time one on one with anybody. I hate those awkward moments when there is nothing to say. Some people are just natural talkers so they can carry the conversation which works good for me. I never know what to say and it stresses me out.

 

[kgord]

I am pretty talkative so that isn't usually a problem when I am traveling with someone, and if it happens to be quiet a time or two, that is just fine also. Sometimes there is an uncomfortable silence, but sometimes silence is just silence and is not uncomfortable for anyone. I would maybe read or something if you lapse into silence so it obvious you are doing something. You will not notice the silence as much anyway if your mind is occupied.

 

[yeppeo]

I felt this a lot during my daily bus trips to university. When I had company I always felt the need to constantly keep talking or I'd think I'd be a bad company but sometimes people preferred to be quiet, especially at the early morning hours (we were more asleep than anything )


What I did was keeping the thing going until the person seemed to lose interest/look at the window/etc, and then I'd be quiet too. When we get used to it it isn't that awkward anymore because the other person may be thinking the exact same thing we do and they'll feel also at ease knowing they won't have to talk if they don't want to. I don't know if I made any sense...

 

[fuzyon]

You're not the only one, but this type of anxiety is the worst. Whenever I feel like we don't have a topic to discuss I tend to come up with random things just to speak to that person but it's not always the smartest thing to do. People should appreciate the silence as well, talking just to fill the "void" is a straight way of making both people uncomfortable. Don't worry too much, you can always talk about the things that are going on at the moment in both of your lives such as the trip and so on.

 

[HappyKoi]

I feel uncomfortable with it. I always try to make a list in my head of things to talk about if it gets quiet beforehand. I've been learning, though, that a lot of other people feel that they have to talk to make the other person comfortable, so I've been trying to get comfortable with silence, because it does happen, and also because I want the other person to know that they don't have to chatter for my sake. It's really a cultural thing, it seems. It's hard training yourself (and others) to be okay with silence.

 

[DylanRowan]

Happens to me a lot of times. I feel the necessity to keep talking to people if they are with me. But I find complicated to keep the conversation up. I don't mind being in silence, but I start thinking about the other people. How are they feeling silenced? or, are they feeling comfortable despite being quiet?

 

[kelden]

I'm pretty silent among my coworkers, but I like to talk about theories and crazy business ideas with my superiors, in order to make them notice I'm interested in keep growing as a professional and like challenges.

 

[Fae]

I have the same issue with superiors as with anyone else. I find myself trying to figure out what it is they want to hear in order to continue talking or paying attention to me. With people I'm much more familiar with, though, I've realized that I don't always need to be chattering away to keep up such a pretense. I think it works with acquaintances, too. Worry less about trying to keep things moving and mind-reading, and more about whether you're letting them have openings to let conversation happen or reflect on other things.

 

[hades_leae]

Well it's probably because spending so much one on one time with a business partner is obviously more personal than working in an office. You are with a co-worker, and you are not going to be talking about work all that time.


I personally wouldn't want my woman if I had a wife to be going on trips like that because I already know it's more personal, and there is a chance that she is going to be put in situations where there is a lot of pressure to do or talk about things that aren't work related. You are not going to tell your workers, hey I don't want to talk unless it has to do with work while ya'll are out together, this is why I avoid situations like that. 


If someone from my job want to go out and eat for lunch, it's a no because while you can still consider it business related because it's just lunch, now you are more comfortable with that person because you are out together. This creates a problem in the long run, many people have to deal with those problems. Over analyzing I know. I love that I do that.

 

[SirJoe]

I think the best thing for you is to try to train yourself into becoming comfortable with silence. You don't always have to be talking, but there is a big difference between comfortable silence and awkward silence, and it's all in the mind. What if the people you are with would actually prefer a bit of peace and quiet and you're just jabbering on and on? You never know what people prefer, so I think it would serve you well to just do what makes you feel better. Talk or don't talk, as long as you are comfortable.

I agree, it comes easily with certain people but it has to be trained in other people. Being comfortable with silence is a must. There is a difference between not talking and the natural silence that happens between people that are comfortable with each other. 

 

[sidney]

I think I can adapt to most conversations with ease, so even when I'm conversing with people that I don't really know, then I would have no problem getting the conversation going since I'm also quite talkative.