Anxiety over anxiety attacks

[jbaker1990]

I just wanted to expand a bit further on what I imagine when I picture an anxiety attack. Basically I picture myself not being able to control ANYTHING. Like what someone looks like when they completely go nuts, to the point where I always picture myself needing an ambulance. For some reason, it’s like My mind just wants to picture the absolute worst case scenario. Instead of just thinking ,”ok, if I get an anxiety attack, I’ll be able to handle it”.
I know having these thoughts offers nothing but making me feel crumby and anxious, it’s not like they serve any sort of worthwhile purpose. My therapist worded it in the sense of a math formula. Positive, healthy thoughts – negative thoughts = feeling good. I just need to muster up the motivation to consistently put that formula to use.

 

[jbaker1990]

Hey all! First time posting here, I’ll try to keep a long story short! Basically, I’ve dealt with anxiety all my life, but I never experienced an anxiety attack until about 4 years ago. It happened while I was at the top of a Ferris wheel. Since then, I started to become obsessed with anxiety attacks. Prior to doing anything or everything, I would picture myself having an anxiety attack in that situation. It would completely soil my excitement to do a whole lot, or I would go into a situation almost on edge because of these negative thoughts. For example, if I was going to a concert, I would picture having an anxiety attack during it hours prior to the concert itself. As a result, I’d be less excited about the concert and almost fearful going into it because of these thoughts. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve become so obsessed, I can’t do anything at all without these thoughts. It’s like an obsession. Im constantly scared of having an anxiety attack. And as a result, I’ve lost tons of motivation to want to go out and do anything. I know this behavior is so foolish, but for some reason I can’t break the habit. I’ve had many people tell me “just don’t think like that” or “think positive instead of negative” but it’s harder than it sounds to do just that. Not being able to shake this bad habit/compulsion has also made me very frustrated with myself and possibly depressed. It’s gotten so bad that at one point, after working out at the gym, I got freaked out because the increased heart rate reminded me of panic attack symptoms. Luckily , I was able to talk sense into myself over that one. Recently I went to the ER to get help for all of this, and was released a few hours later with a prescription for meds and orders to get linked up with a psychiatrist. ive been on the meds for the past 2 days, and I can feel where they’ve been helping, but at times I still feel anxious while on them, which is frustrating too!!
My therapist tells me that it seems as though I’ve been imagining anxiety attacks as more like a heart attack/psychotic break in my head (clutching chest, on the ground twisting and churning),& that I’ve been blowing the imagery of one way out of proportion, which would certainly scare anyone. And that on the contrary, anxiety attacks are much controllable and tolerable than that.
I guess I’m here to look for a shoulder to lean on. Has anyone ever experienced this sort of fear, or are currently? What do you do/have you done to get through these thoughts and fears? Any help/advice is much appreciated !
PS Please go easy on me, I’m pretty sensitive haha
Much love to all
J

 

[jbaker1990]

Omg! I wrote these posts out of order. So sorry! Still new to this lol

 

[Concernedgal]

Hi jbaker1990. What your describing is much more than an anxiety disorder. What your describing is "panic disorder ". You have developed a fear of the fear therefore it has dramatically impacted your life. Think of it this way... your brain i's odd in a lot of ways.. remember when you were taught not to touch a hot stove but, you did it anyway and burned yourself , afterwards you never touched the hot stove again? Well, when you had your first panic attack on that Ferris wheel your brain did a lot at that moment. It noted where you were... (outside). What you were doing (having fun in a crowd or what ever you wereally doing at the time ). When that happened ...your brain said to you that (you must not do this ever again... it's dangerous ). Saying that whenever you have fun and go somewhere you will be in danger . But, the thing is that it's a slippery slope because that's how agoraphobia develops. I have mild agoraphobia. I can't travel in car for longer that 15 minutes because if I get too far from home then I will most likely have a panic attack . I know how you feel. I truly do. If you need to talk.. here we are. Welcome .

 

[janemariesayed]

Hello there @jbaker1990 and welcome here to the forum. It really does sound like you have a panic disorder but there is also another way to look at it.

Have you ever heard of 'Read, Study, Visualise, Perform?' It is basically what it says. You have to visualise something and you can make it happen if you believe it. I think it would help you if you tried to nip the panic attack in the bud. Before it has had a chance to take hold.

Don't send out that image. When they come to you stop your imagination wandering and put an image of an ice cream cornet there instead. You could be bringing these attacks on yourself by imagining them happening before hand. Your subconscious is expecting it to happen because that is what you have been telling yourself. So then it happens and you say to yourself that you knew you would get an attack. But stop that imagining and you may have fewer attacks. The subconscious mind can bring on physical symptoms. You and I both know that mindful illnesses can have physical symptoms. So I think this idea may stop the expectancy of an attack from manifesting in the physical.

I hope you try this @jbaker1990 and I hope you come back on here to let me know if it is working or not? I hope it does work for you as anxiety is a horrible feeling to have.

We are always here to come and talk with if you need to.