Anxiety mounting after friend had a breakdown

[chickentender]

My best friend had a psychotic break for the first time earlier this month. She had been in isolation for suspected covid19. She had to be committed.
She is way past the age that literature says this normally happens to people.
I thought that because it never happened before and because of her age, it would be sorted out soon and she'd return home. That hasn't been the case.
She is still not doing well. I can't speak to her due to the nature of her psychosis. We normally spoke every day. I don't have close friends otherwise because I have social anxiety and self esteem issues.
The longer she is away, the more fearful I am that the same thing will randomly happen to me during this pandemic. It just got hot where I live the past few days and we haven't put the a.c. in yet. I have trouble sleeping in the heat. I woke up after 2 hours afraid of all sorts of things and the room was boiling hot.
I'm anxious bout a bunch of things right now and have to start work for the day shortly, so it'll really just be 2 hours of sleep for me today. I've had insomnia in the past, but this time, I kept thinking about how during my friends breakdown she wasn't sleeping. I googled and saw that people can have a psychotic break from sleep deprivation. That has never happened to me and at the height of my anxiety, my insomnia has been pretty bad.
I guess I just need to tell this to people who understand. I can't even go in public to be around other people for normalcy, which is a stress coping mechanism for me, due to quarantine.

 

[Cuchculan]

Bad situation your friend is in. Those sort of things can happen to anybody if they are under a high level of stress. Maybe the whole virus thing was too much for her to take. The idea of maybe having it. Bit like a person standing on the edge of cliff. One tiny push and they go over the side of that cliff. That does not mean she will always be that way. With the right treatment she can be that friend once again. Granted her mind might not be like it was before. But like any of us here, she can learn how to deal with the situation and find new ways to help her cope. Don't give up on her. She is still in there somewhere.

Just because she got that way, that does not mean you will too. Your fear is based around her condition. Where she is at right now. But you are not there. You don't have to end up there either. Just have to keep reminding yourself of this. What happens to one person does not have to happen to another person. You are not sleeping thinking about your friend not sleeping and what it done to her. You are taken everything she went through and looking for signs of it in yourself. That won't do you any good at all. We both know that.

Just try and accept what happened to your friend. Bad as it is. But there was a reason. As I wrote above. You are different people. Her life does not have to be your life.

 

[chickentender]

Bad situation your friend is in. Those sort of things can happen to anybody if they are under a high level of stress. Maybe the whole virus thing was too much for her to take. The idea of maybe having it. Bit like a person standing on the edge of cliff. One tiny push and they go over the side of that cliff. That does not mean she will always be that way. With the right treatment she can be that friend once again. Granted her mind might not be like it was before. But like any of us here, she can learn how to deal with the situation and find new ways to help her cope. Don't give up on her. She is still in there somewhere.

Just because she got that way, that does not mean you will too. Your fear is based around her condition. Where she is at right now. But you are not there. You don't have to end up there either. Just have to keep reminding yourself of this. What happens to one person does not have to happen to another person. You are not sleeping thinking about your friend not sleeping and what it done to her. You are taken everything she went through and looking for signs of it in yourself. That won't do you any good at all. We both know that.

Just try and accept what happened to your friend. Bad as it is. But there was a reason. As I wrote above. You are different people. Her life does not have to be your life.

Thank you so much. Your reply was really helpful to me.