Anxiety-Losing a loved one

[Texan2392]

Hi everyone, I've been dealing with anxiety over suddenly losing a loved one for years now. I've always had a fear of something happening to them (minor injuries, etc.), even as a kid. In more recent years, I have developed deep fears and anxiety about suddenly losing a loved one basically everyday.

I've tried doing some reading online about why this could be, but it mostly talks about how to deal with anxiety AFTER you lose a loved one which isn't super helpful right now.

Also, I'm not sure what brought this on. I've been very fortunate in that I've only lost one grandparent and he had advanced Alzheimer's so while we were deeply saddened by the loss, it was almost a relief of sorts. Not because we were "rid of him," but because he was no longer suffering and putting others in danger with his violent outbursts. Aside from my grandpa, the only people I've lost in my life were great-grandparents and I was very, very young when they passed. I've been told I met them, but I was a baby and of course do not remember. I've also had pets pass away over the years, but that's normal and while they were considered members of the family, I don't think it's enough to really send me into this anxiety over losing a loved one suddenly.

If anyone has any insights, experience, or tools to help with this, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!

 

[janemariesayed]

Hi everyone, I've been dealing with anxiety over suddenly losing a loved one for years now. I've always had a fear of something happening to them (minor injuries, etc.), even as a kid. In more recent years, I have developed deep fears and anxiety about suddenly losing a loved one basically everyday.

I've tried doing some reading online about why this could be, but it mostly talks about how to deal with anxiety AFTER you lose a loved one which isn't super helpful right now.

Also, I'm not sure what brought this on. I've been very fortunate in that I've only lost one grandparent and he had advanced Alzheimer's so while we were deeply saddened by the loss, it was almost a relief of sorts. Not because we were "rid of him," but because he was no longer suffering and putting others in danger with his violent outbursts. Aside from my grandpa, the only people I've lost in my life were great-grandparents and I was very, very young when they passed. I've been told I met them, but I was a baby and of course do not remember. I've also had pets pass away over the years, but that's normal and while they were considered members of the family, I don't think it's enough to really send me into this anxiety over losing a loved one suddenly.

If anyone has any insights, experience, or tools to help with this, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!

You seem to have a basic fear of death and losing someone close to you. Although you may not realise it, it could well be because of the loss of your Grandpa and, or your pets. Things go into our subconscious then come out years later by PTSD or anxiety.

Maybe you need to accept that death comes to us all. The thing to do is to live each day to its fullest and love and appreciate those around us for the time we have them in our lives. You have found a great place to come to for support and talk when you need to.

 

[Kaynil]

Hi. I lost an aunt I grew with a while ago. I moved out the country seven years ago and she was healthy. So hearing abiut her sudden illness and passing was a huge shock. Not long after, anotjer relative also died unexpectedly.

We all have our own time to heal so don't condition yourself. Don't think you should or shouldn't feel the way you do. Don't beat yourself up for the thiughts that cross your mind. Your head is trying to make sense of it.

The death of someone can also make us face our own mortality and just how fragile human lives are. It feels like anything can happen at anytime and it can take a while to be able to ease ourselves back into a routine.

It could be precisely that you were sheltered from seeing people close to you dying growing up, that you found it so shocking when it happened. You just hadn't had time before to face and make sense of it.

It takes time but you need to come with terms with the cycle of life and let go of the illusion of control. We gotta make peace with the knowledge we can't control who or when. We can only control trying our best to make good memories with everyone important to us.

If you are having trouble with overwhelming thoughts, try to pull yourself into perspective. That your thoughts are what-ifs. Nothing is happening. If you cantc know then take the theory that makes you feel better. Which is that they are alright.

I hope any of this can help you. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you keep on healing.