Anxiety is getting in the way of doing things I genuinely want to do.

[fyx]

This is gonna sound a little silly and specific, but bear with me.

So. I’ve always had really bad procrastination anxiety, and I’ll always avoid doing things that give me the classic anxiety tummy knots. As a kid in school I managed to hijack it by going into pressure mode when work was due, but now as an adult lacking strict deadlines with very real punishments, I’m having a bit of trouble.

My first issue is that I’m really, really bad at finishing tv shows and videogames lately, which is incredibly frustrating because I really love these hobbies. I’m fully motivated to play / watch something and start new things often, but when I get close to the end I’ll start engaging less. I think this is because my anxiety has realised that I get sad when I finish something, and is like ‘well if we don't finish it we won't get sad problem solved’ as a result. However, I really want to finish things. I’m just not sure how to go about working through that.

The second issue is related to the first - as I can’t bring myself to continue a thing - but the reasoning is slightly different. I lost my father in June of last year and my brain latched on to the fact that while it happened in hospital, I was at home playing a specific game. Since then I haven’t been able to think of opening said game without the classic anxiety knots, so I just don’t. It’s getting frustrating now because, again, I want to play more but my anxiety is making me avoid it.

I’ve had anxiety for a long time and I usually have it under fairly good control. I mean, I know full well nothing bad will happen to anyone if I play that game, and that even if I feel sad after finishing a thing I can easily revisit it in the future. Alas, the gremlin in my brain is a little louder than common sense lately, so I’m open to any advice / suggestions anyone may have.

 

[Camden]

Hey fyx, I understand what you’re going through. Thanks for sharing!

Procrastination is definitely influenced by anxiety and some people perform better when time is tight. On the other hand procrastinating can be quite inhibiting and disruptive for tasks at work or school. My experience with procrastinating usually involves a task I feel afraid to do. Procrastinating is rooted in insecurity.

I totally get your situation with the video game. You associate with a traumatic experience, playing it when you got the bad news about your dad. It’s your way of coping with the grief of losing a loved one, and rest assured there’s no right way or wrong way to deal with grieving. It’s a process and it will pass with a little patience and kindness to yourself. Kind regards,

Camden

 

[MATD]

You are avoiding feeling those feelings because they hurt. But until you learn how to face them and accept them as part of life, instead of avoiding them, you will stay stuck where you are. Life is full of hurtful things, avoiding them restricts you ability to grow and mature into a strong, independent, and capable mature adult. If we don’t experience tough times, we cannot possibly fully appreciate good times. You have a choice to make, remain as you are or take the necessary steps to grow by facing your feelings and accepting them as they are. The damage you are doing to yourself in avoiding life’s pain will ultimately result in damaging your quality of life by placing these restrictions (avoidant behavior) on yourself. Life is hard on everybody, no one goes thru life untouched by tragedy or rough times. There are no promises of a happily ever after. It’s those who face life head on that understands and perseveres successfully despite the pain.