Anxiety for loved ones

[triceps]

I worry about just about everything. Luckily I don't have health anxiety which doesn't make sense as I worry about many things much less important. However, I get very anxious over the health issues of my loved ones. My wife has had a rough couple months. Unbelievably, 6 weeks ago she was attacked by our usually friendly Yak bull. Easily could have been killed but ended up with 30 stitches and some internal bleeding. She just got back to work where she fell and injured her shoulder. She's going in for x-rays in about ten minutes and I'm too anxious to go with her. She assures me she can drive and is fine with my not going. I'm not fine with it and am tearing up, ok maybe crying a little, feeling sorry for my anxiety-ridden self. I was able to drive her to the hospital after the yak attack (Ward, the yak is now in our freezer) but only because I was in emergency mode where the situation overrode my anxiety.
My main point is asking how can I change my thinking from obsessive worrying about my loved ones' health? My current wife's situation is legitimate worrying but I can spend an hour worrying about my kids or my brothers' health with no basis for it. I can't go a day without worrying about them or others close to me. I welcome any suggestions.

 

[He Man]

Triceps, I hear u.. Anxiety can heighten those protective, fatherly instincts & worries.
Something that helps calm my fatherly anxieties is acceptance. Do as much as u can, but then realistically, we can only protect so much, then things are out of our hands.. if you believe in a benevolent God, pray that He'll mercifully care for/protect your loved ones. If u don't believe in God, the reality is still the same.. some things are out of our hands.. no amount of worrying can ever change (or fix) that reality. The more I've come to accept this, the more relief I've felt. /Peace

 

[scharley1973]

so sorry triceps about your wife im sure its very hurtful for you at times not being able to do for your loved ones as they could probobly do for you without any problems. i think about those things also, the family events i miss, the important milestones in my niece and nephews lives, ect. but it sounds like your a very lucky man to have such an amazing and understanding wife. i got a good one that stands by me too. hes been thru alot with me, physical and mental. i thank god for him everyday. i wish i could say some encouraging words that might help you or something to try to help stop the worry...my anxiety manifests more in the physical form so most of my worrying is done on myself but we both know what we have and lived with it for many years so why do we give it so much power over us to even have the worry??

 

[Steven]

Hey triceps. That is a super crazy scary story about the yak bull attacking your wife. What a freak accident. I know what you mean about worrying about loved ones. I sometimes worry about my two best friends and their health. It’s silly to do because I have no control over it. One of them for example eats REALLY unhealthy and I sometimes wonder what his numbers would look like if he ever had a blood work done. I’m talking fast food like several times a week bad. But then I try to remember I have no control over what other people do. I could suggest to him a healthier life style but at the end of the day there’s not much we can do. I totally relate to your condondrum.

 

[triceps]

Hi Steven. Thanks very much for your advice. From the outside looking in, I realize how irrational it is to worry about the health and safety of others. I can even tell myself how silly it is when my anxiety takes over my thinking making me very uncomfortable with the doom and gloom thoughts about someone I care for. It's frustrating and a bit embarrassing how I seem to give so much advice to others that I can't seem to take to heart myself.