Anxiety easing or mood cycle

[Matticus1983]

For whatever reason this past weekend my anxiety eased off and I could relax. Felt like myself again. I'm crossing my fingers it will last. Everytime I began to feel anxious I was able to focus in and remember just what train of thought started the cycle, and then remind myself I haven't died or passed out yet in 16 years and actually believe it. Lately I've prayed more became more interested in others and tried to live in the present rather than the future. Only problem is I was also diagnosed with Bipolar 2 a few years back and hope this isn't just another cycle. I take 200 mg of Lamictal for it along with Lexapro and Klonopin for panic and anxiety. I just got some relief this weekend. I pushed myself physically and got things done, more or less showing myself I was more than capable. My anxiety has been the hypochondriac type fears of Blood pressure and heart brain type things. And a deep fear of being alone in my own head .I also finally after this quarantine crap spent some time with friends and family. I believe that was a big game changer. It put me back on my path. I realized there was a life outside this hell I'd been living in. I never actually new how this covid thing exaggerated my emotions. Really I thought I never paid attention to it. Subconscious is a very real thing indeed!! I pray this is the beginning of a life change I've been needing. And also that this is not just a hypomanic cycle. I don't believe it is so I'm gonna emmbrace it while I've got it!

 

[Bobnnat]

Good to hear Matt! I believe the medication and changes you have made in thought processes and activities are paying dividends for you. I totally agree that the COVID thing really messes with your head; even if you're not an anxious person it does; for folks like us it can be downright brutal.

Interestingly, i told my wife last Friday that I just had to get away overnight. In normal times I have my diversions such as spending an evening at the casino and spending the night, returning in the morning. I'm in Ontario and the few casinos we have are still closed; but i went away Saturday night to a nice lakeside town an hour north. I stayed at a good hotel that was clean as a whistle; I took a couple of long walks in town and by the lakeside. I drove around the area as I've never done so before.

I said to myself on a few occasions Saturday that I actually feel normal again! I wasn't depressed or irritable. It was a relaxing break and if anything it let me know that I'm not "broken" if that makes sense. I'm still me. I can be happy. i can have fun. i can enjoy life. I love my family, but working from home, trying to help school 3 kids along with my wife (who is also working from home), as well as trying to discipline the kids as necessary just wears me out.

I told my wife I'd fully support her getting away for an overnight. She said no, but has decided to take up golf of all things. She's looking forward to that new adventure.

Congrats and I'm sure this is not just a mood!

Bob

 

[Matticus1983]

Thanks Bob! I think getting past that imaginary brick wall we put up that makes us stay in a safe place is key. I told my wife the other day, "I'm getting tired of this crap" I'm about to take off running down my field full speed stop and see what happens. Let's just see if my heart explodes! She quietly said, go ahead, " youll live". Haha.. And she was probably right. I never took that run but in context I understood to get past my fears I have to face them head on and not get overwhelmed by my thoughts. If your scared youll have a heart attack, take off running! If your scared you have a brain tumor, balance yourself on a 4×4. If your scared you have cancer, go to the damn doctor! Quit placing that brick wall for fear of result. Ya know
This is all coming from a guy that used to be a gym rat! Lifting crazy heavy weights, running jogging. One day my anxiety got the best of me.

 

[JLD]

I am almost afraid to post this for fear of jinxing myself but I, too, feel as if I turned a slight corner this weekend. I don't know why, exactly, but I feel better than I have in weeks. I don't think that I am out of the woods yet completely but I am not as bad as I was this time last week and that is saying something.

I hope both of you have continued success and relief!

Oh, and you said something that makes me cringe. Rather, I cringe because it hits close to home. I was a gym rat too, for many years, and I have gained a bunch of weight. I used to run a lot as well when I wasn't lifting heavy. One period in my life saw me lifting heavy and running at the same time and making strength gains at the same time. I wish I could get back to that.

 

[Matticus1983]

I am almost afraid to post this for fear of jinxing myself but I, too, feel as if I turned a slight corner this weekend. I don't know why, exactly, but I feel better than I have in weeks. I don't think that I am out of the woods yet completely but I am not as bad as I was this time last week and that is saying something.

I hope both of you have continued success and relief!

Oh, and you said something that makes me cringe. Rather, I cringe because it hits close to home. I was a gym rat too, for many years, and I have gained a bunch of weight. I used to run a lot as well when I wasn't lifting heavy. One period in my life saw me lifting heavy and running at the same time and making strength gains at the same time. I wish I could get back to that.

Me too buddy

 

[Joshua1]

For whatever reason this past weekend my anxiety eased off and I could relax. Felt like myself again. I'm crossing my fingers it will last. Everytime I began to feel anxious I was able to focus in and remember just what train of thought started the cycle, and then remind myself I haven't died or passed out yet in 16 years and actually believe it. Lately I've prayed more became more interested in others and tried to live in the present rather than the future. Only problem is I was also diagnosed with Bipolar 2 a few years back and hope this isn't just another cycle. I take 200 mg of Lamictal for it along with Lexapro and Klonopin for panic and anxiety. I just got some relief this weekend. I pushed myself physically and got things done, more or less showing myself I was more than capable. My anxiety has been the hypochondriac type fears of Blood pressure and heart brain type things. And a deep fear of being alone in my own head .I also finally after this quarantine crap spent some time with friends and family. I believe that was a big game changer. It put me back on my path. I realized there was a life outside this hell I'd been living in. I never actually new how this covid thing exaggerated my emotions. Really I thought I never paid attention to it. Subconscious is a very real thing indeed!! I pray this is the beginning of a life change I've been needing. And also that this is not just a hypomanic cycle. I don't believe it is so I'm gonna emmbrace it while I've got it!

Covid19, is doing a lot of good and bad in this world as it stands. The good thing is freedom, and communication. (Although there are a lot of people that do not take advantage of this) the bad things it is doing is pretty obvious. I do not need to mention them.