Anxiety but don't feel anxious?

[Betty]

I have a question, I have been having a pretty bad year. I went through a really hard phase back in June where I had a surge in anxiety symptoms along with some physical stuff I had going on at that time. Now, fast forward to the last month or so and I am in the midst of what I am being told is a health anxiety crisis. I am convinced that I have bulbar onset ALS. I am scared of the thought of it, but on some level I think I am disconnected too, because I am so sure that I have it. So here is my question: Can what I am feeling be anxiety if I don't FEEL anxious? I am used to anxiety coming out as a distinct feeling of a sort of terror. What I am experiencing now is different. I have loss of appetite, I went through a couple weeks of pretty much full body aching and weakness in my arms and legs, twitching all over and now I am left with tingling in my hands, feet, face and mouth/tongue. My jaw feels weird, like it is swollen a little and my bite feels off so I am having trouble eating because chewing feels just...off. I have horrible dry mouth from another condition, and I am constantly stumbling over my words, cant seem to pronounce thins properly and I sound almost like I have developed a lisp at times (these are the symptoms that have me thinking ALS right now, but 2 weeks ago it was arm and leg weakness so who knows). I saw a neurologist who wants to rule out MS so I am going for an MRI on Nov 4. But I am just not my usually shaky, anxious, panicky self so I am having a hard time associating how I am feeling with anxiety. Is it really possible that this is anxiety or is it what my mind is telling me that I am dying and that the doctors are only thinking anxiety because of my history?...I am so tired.

 

[Foxtrot]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It must be very scary. I’m no expert, but there have been a few times when I didn’t realize I was anxious until something was over. It usually manifested itself as gastrointestinal issues, general irritability, speaking at a faster rate difficulty focusing and difficulty expressing myself and finding the right words. I know this is not the same as the physical symptoms you are experiencing but I do feel that anxiety can change and manifest in different ways. For me when I am exhausted from trying to deal with the anxiety I can feel less terror, but I don’t feel well like I do once my anxiety episode is over. I think there is probably a limit to how long the body can stay in that heightened panicky arousal state that anxiety causes. You’re body might be tired.

I know the fear of doctors jumping to conclusions based on your history is a real one. I have had it happen, but it seems like your doctor is taking your symptoms seriously by ordering tests. If he or she were only considering your anxiety, they would have written you off and sent you home without sending you for an MRI. I hope you feel better soon and that you can get some rest. Proper rest can help alleviate some of the anxiety. Pleasekeep us updated.

 

[Betty]

Thank you Foxtrot, you are very kind and making a whole lot of sense. I wish I didn't need reassurance of things I should know (I mean, I am not new to this, my first brushes with strong anxiety started more than 25 years ago), but alas, I am still needing reassurance. Thank you for understanding, I truly appreciate it.

 

[Foxtrot]

That’s why this forum is so great. We all need support. It doesn’t matter how long we have had anxiety symptoms or how we have been managing, there will always be times where it gets the best of us. I’m a new member and I have already found so much value in this site.