prismpower
Member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2019
- Messages
- 70
- Reaction score
- 44
Even as a small child my mom told me that I worried way too much and always thought the worst was going to happen. I would always say that an anvil would fall on our house. Even though anvils I watched on cartoons were silly and just for laughs, I thought a real grimdark anvil would just smash our home to bits and kill off everybody inside. I dunno... I always went to the darkest place possible even if it was ridiculous, illogical or just plain outlandish. I think I would even scare a lot of people, with how dark and morbid I got.
I wonder now if I just wasn't trying to prepare myself for a real life disaster, that if a real tragedy happens I would get some mastery over it. As I feel that a lot of ppl just kinda go through life in naive blissful happiness.... I think I thought why be happy or allow myself to be happy, when I know bad **** can so easily happen in life. I know bullying/teasing can turn into school shootings, the cold can turn into the flu which can turn into pneumonia which can turn into DEATH etc. Its better to be doom and gloom and cynical and then be pleasantly surprised, compared to being positive/hopeful and think something good will happen only for it to be cruelly ripped away from you, right. Right?
I think now that it doesn't quite work this way though, that its not really much of a life if you're always doom and gloom 24/7 ... that happiness and good thoughts tend to bring more good things for the most part, even if sad/bad things will inevitably happen. I am trying to reprogram my brain to um stop 'stinking thinking' (lol) for lack of a better phrase. I still don't know the 'happy medium' to a lot of it yet, or the nuances... but I will learn as I go.
I wonder now if I just wasn't trying to prepare myself for a real life disaster, that if a real tragedy happens I would get some mastery over it. As I feel that a lot of ppl just kinda go through life in naive blissful happiness.... I think I thought why be happy or allow myself to be happy, when I know bad **** can so easily happen in life. I know bullying/teasing can turn into school shootings, the cold can turn into the flu which can turn into pneumonia which can turn into DEATH etc. Its better to be doom and gloom and cynical and then be pleasantly surprised, compared to being positive/hopeful and think something good will happen only for it to be cruelly ripped away from you, right. Right?
I think now that it doesn't quite work this way though, that its not really much of a life if you're always doom and gloom 24/7 ... that happiness and good thoughts tend to bring more good things for the most part, even if sad/bad things will inevitably happen. I am trying to reprogram my brain to um stop 'stinking thinking' (lol) for lack of a better phrase. I still don't know the 'happy medium' to a lot of it yet, or the nuances... but I will learn as I go.