Anxiety anvils

[prismpower]

Even as a small child my mom told me that I worried way too much and always thought the worst was going to happen. I would always say that an anvil would fall on our house. Even though anvils I watched on cartoons were silly and just for laughs, I thought a real grimdark anvil would just smash our home to bits and kill off everybody inside. I dunno... I always went to the darkest place possible even if it was ridiculous, illogical or just plain outlandish. I think I would even scare a lot of people, with how dark and morbid I got.

I wonder now if I just wasn't trying to prepare myself for a real life disaster, that if a real tragedy happens I would get some mastery over it. As I feel that a lot of ppl just kinda go through life in naive blissful happiness.... I think I thought why be happy or allow myself to be happy, when I know bad **** can so easily happen in life. I know bullying/teasing can turn into school shootings, the cold can turn into the flu which can turn into pneumonia which can turn into DEATH etc. Its better to be doom and gloom and cynical and then be pleasantly surprised, compared to being positive/hopeful and think something good will happen only for it to be cruelly ripped away from you, right. Right?

I think now that it doesn't quite work this way though, that its not really much of a life if you're always doom and gloom 24/7 ... that happiness and good thoughts tend to bring more good things for the most part, even if sad/bad things will inevitably happen. I am trying to reprogram my brain to um stop 'stinking thinking' (lol) for lack of a better phrase. I still don't know the 'happy medium' to a lot of it yet, or the nuances... but I will learn as I go.

 

[He Man]

Prism, interesting perspective.. that I have also thought about.

Anxiety can be a miserable experience. But I believe everything in Nature has a God-given purpose. Perhaps the anxious personality is designed to survive subtle environmental or cultural changes that other people won't sense, and ultimately won't survive (?) Sort of like canaries in the coal mines, the heightened senses & intuitions of anxious people (if properly managed) will help them survive some growing, future threat/disaster..
Who knows.

 

[solaine]

I can totally relate to you. As a child I had an irrational fear that our flat would burn down or get robbed while we were at my grandparents' for the weekend. And ever since that, it's only gotten worse and I always keep seeing the worst case scenario. And I also always tell myself that it's better to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed but as you said, fearing the worst all the time keeps you from enjoying life.

I think it's important to prepare beforehand where it's possible and try not to worry about things that you cannot influence. I always try to do that trick of "postponing" the anxiety, telling myself that I'll worry about that tomorrow. And the next day I say the same thing. It's not easy but we can get there!

 

[Kelculator]

As a child I somehow always think that my parents would die in an accident someday and leave me behind. Well, they still haven't. I just always had something to worry about. My advice is to recognize that anxiety is just an emotion. It doesn't mean things are actually going to go wrong, it's just your feeling. Perhaps we are both born with anxiety and it just progressed as we got older and had more to worry about?

 

[prismpower]

Telling me anxiety is just a feeling helps somewhat, but the problem is I feel way too deeply and everything is hyper-exaggerated. And anxiety is often based on some physical sensation in my body not just a feeling so it's not that simple. You are right though, it's good advice to balance your anxiety with looking at how bad the situation is, objectively. I tell myself logically I don't know something yet so try not to freak out. And ... even if IT IS objectively and physically bad, being anxious about it seems worse.... as with anxiety, there is no real limit to how bad it could be, the imagination can be so terrifying and overwhelming.

 

[Kelculator]

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Telling me anxiety is just a feeling helps somewhat, but the problem is I feel way too deeply and everything is hyper-exaggerated. And anxiety is often based on some physical sensation in my body not just a feeling so it's not that simple. You are right though, it's good advice to balance your anxiety with looking at how bad the situation is, objectively. I tell myself logically I don't know something yet so try not to freak out. And ... even if IT IS objectively and physically bad, being anxious about it seems worse.... as with anxiety, there is no real limit to how bad it could be, the imagination can be so terrifying and overwhelming.

Sorry about that-- I get it, and I can see the flaw of my advice. I remember my psychiatrist telling me how our anxiety is an overwhelming illogical emotion that is unresolved. Logical comes second. There is no logical reason behind such anxiety, so it can be very difficult to manage. I shouldn't have said it like we can just will ourselves into thinking more logically, because that just wouldn't help the anxiety that comes with it.
Therapy remains one of the greatest possible help. CBT can be useful, and I plan go going back to it one day when my financial situation allows. While we cannot willfully make anxiety go away, I find that each experience provides me with evidence and methods towards anxiety attacks and flares, like what symptoms arise and how to lower my anxiety level. That way I would be possible to access the situation without being worried about why the symptoms were happening. I know it's hard, and I cannot give a single straight solution. I hope you're doing fine!