EddieMaverick123
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- Joined
- Feb 21, 2020
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Hello everyone, my name is Edward, I am posting this is because I have been very hard on myself lately about wanting relationships/friendships with people. I find it very difficult to feel myself around other kids my age and I will sometimes stutter when talking to them. (will get nervous) I notice too when I try to form relationships/friendships I will try too hard and will try so hard to make a long conversation with most kids my age at times. I really have no problem talking to adults and family though since I feel myself around them. I feel like the conversations with the other kids have been flowing better but yet I am still hard on myself about wanting to "get it all right." At times I will set unrealistic goals which don't set well in the long run and I am always worrying about getting out of my comfort zone when it comes to going up to girls and talking to them (It has been much better too, however, it is just I am looking to make it "100 percent.")
For the last six months I have been obsessed about getting out of my comfort zone and wanting to form friendships. (I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. GAD makes it hard for me to relax too.) People see how much I have actually overcame the comfort zone worry however I still don't accept it as something I can overcome unless it is 100 right%.
Going back to the conversations, when I noticed I can't relate to others due to being self - consciousness and hesitant, it makes me angry and annoyed (always causes me to ruminate a lot.) I always felt like if I want to meet new people and make a natural connection I need to go take a walk somewhere (ex: park, mall, etc.) and see what is going on and try to open up. Just get out there. Let me know if you think if this is a really beneficial strategy.
I was always in question too, if I have a little SAD or if I just need to learn more social skills in order to feel more confident talking to people. I mean in the past, I've sung a song in front of a crowd of people before and I always was a leader when doing a DECA project with a group of kids. It is just I feel unconfident being around people when it is verbal communication. (talking and making conversations) I always thought this stemmed from the criticism of my family and when my mother would hit me, however at 5 years old I became addicted to video games and I did miss out on some social skills. I just do not know what is affecting me now, I can't tell if it is the lack of social skills, little SAD, desperation, etc. I am not addicted to video games anymore however.
It just kills me to believe I can't hold a conversation with most people unless those people have similar weaknesses or that I view as "weaker" than me. I am not an evil person I just feel vulnerable to most people and view them as "stronger" than me. This is why I am self conscious and not my natural self, I feel afraid and feel in danger. I remember a couple of times I have been able to hold a natural conversation with some people however, it is not very often.
Please let me know what you guys think and please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Thank you!
For the last six months I have been obsessed about getting out of my comfort zone and wanting to form friendships. (I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. GAD makes it hard for me to relax too.) People see how much I have actually overcame the comfort zone worry however I still don't accept it as something I can overcome unless it is 100 right%.
Going back to the conversations, when I noticed I can't relate to others due to being self - consciousness and hesitant, it makes me angry and annoyed (always causes me to ruminate a lot.) I always felt like if I want to meet new people and make a natural connection I need to go take a walk somewhere (ex: park, mall, etc.) and see what is going on and try to open up. Just get out there. Let me know if you think if this is a really beneficial strategy.
I was always in question too, if I have a little SAD or if I just need to learn more social skills in order to feel more confident talking to people. I mean in the past, I've sung a song in front of a crowd of people before and I always was a leader when doing a DECA project with a group of kids. It is just I feel unconfident being around people when it is verbal communication. (talking and making conversations) I always thought this stemmed from the criticism of my family and when my mother would hit me, however at 5 years old I became addicted to video games and I did miss out on some social skills. I just do not know what is affecting me now, I can't tell if it is the lack of social skills, little SAD, desperation, etc. I am not addicted to video games anymore however.
It just kills me to believe I can't hold a conversation with most people unless those people have similar weaknesses or that I view as "weaker" than me. I am not an evil person I just feel vulnerable to most people and view them as "stronger" than me. This is why I am self conscious and not my natural self, I feel afraid and feel in danger. I remember a couple of times I have been able to hold a natural conversation with some people however, it is not very often.
Please let me know what you guys think and please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Thank you!
