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Anxiety and Parenting..

AMcSwain

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#1
I have been dealing with anxiety since the end of July last year. It usually consist of me over thinking stuff that may never happen and just random things would trigger me. Recently my son who is 9 has been questioning things that he is curious about and it has had my anxiety as high as I think it can possibly go. I haven’t slept in 2 nights, I’m exhausted and I don’t know how to handle this. Any tips on dealing with your anxiety and your child will be greatly appreciated.
 

triceps

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#2
I have been dealing with anxiety since the end of July last year. It usually consist of me over thinking stuff that may never happen and just random things would trigger me. Recently my son who is 9 has been questioning things that he is curious about and it has had my anxiety as high as I think it can possibly go. I haven’t slept in 2 nights, I’m exhausted and I don’t know how to handle this. Any tips on dealing with your anxiety and your child will be greatly appreciated.
Hi AMcSwain. With as much kindness as possible but being very direct with you, even though he is your son, think about being as "anxious as you possibly could be" because of a 9 year olds' curiosity. I would suggest just being as honest as you can with his questions without "dumbing it down" trying to make everything understandable for him. If there's things he says he doesn't understand just explain, "you will when you get older". You can't get burned by telling the truth and the sooner you can have the discussion, the sooner you'll feel better. You owe it to any of your children to be as honest as possible so that they know they can trust what you say in the future.
 

AMcSwain

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#3
Hi AMcSwain. With as much kindness as possible but being very direct with you, even though he is your son, think about being as "anxious as you possibly could be" because of a 9 year olds' curiosity. I would suggest just being as honest as you can with his questions without "dumbing it down" trying to make everything understandable for him. If there's things he says he doesn't understand just explain, "you will when you get older". You can't get burned by telling the truth and the sooner you can have the discussion, the sooner you'll feel better. You owe it to any of your children to be as honest as possible so that they know they can trust what you say in the future.
I have been as honest with him as possible and letting him know I love him and will always be here for him if he needs anyone to talk to but I just can not stop thinking about the things he is questioning. I’m sure he hears stuff at school and tv and YouTube and I just wish I could put him in a bubble lol. Thanks for the advice.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#4
OH, this is a hard one. :) Being a mom is my biggest anxiety trigger, too - mostly because I just feel so lost half the time, and I like to feel in control of things. LOL Why don't these tiny humans just come with instruction manuals??? My son is 5, so the questions he asks are different than the ones they ask at 9, I'm sure - but we have been having some behavioral issues that have had me on edge for a while now. We just got an ADHD diagnosis, and we're starting some occupational therapy at school, etc. It's just plain hard. Like triceps said, we just have to do our best to be as honest as we can on a level that they can understand. I agree that hiding the truth from kids usually backfires - they are going to get some version of "truth" from SOMEWHERE - better from you than from somewhere else (i.e. school and TV and YouTube...). In fact, we have to be proactive about talking about certain topics and making our kids comfortable talking with us. I'm really thankful for the help that we've gotten in the past few weeks, and I'm a big fan of family counseling when it's available. It's a daily struggle....
 

AMcSwain

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#5
OH, this is a hard one. :) Being a mom is my biggest anxiety trigger, too - mostly because I just feel so lost half the time, and I like to feel in control of things. LOL Why don't these tiny humans just come with instruction manuals??? My son is 5, so the questions he asks are different than the ones they ask at 9, I'm sure - but we have been having some behavioral issues that have had me on edge for a while now. We just got an ADHD diagnosis, and we're starting some occupational therapy at school, etc. It's just plain hard. Like triceps said, we just have to do our best to be as honest as we can on a level that they can understand. I agree that hiding the truth from kids usually backfires - they are going to get some version of "truth" from SOMEWHERE - better from you than from somewhere else (i.e. school and TV and YouTube...). In fact, we have to be proactive about talking about certain topics and making our kids comfortable talking with us. I'm really thankful for the help that we've gotten in the past few weeks, and I'm a big fan of family counseling when it's available. It's a daily struggle....
Ughhh parenting anxiety is horrible. It’s so hard to let go and know you just can’t always be there to protect them.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#6
Ughhh parenting anxiety is horrible. It’s so hard to let go and know you just can’t always be there to protect them.
Yep. And nope. We have to get them ready instead - get them equipped to make it out here. Which is hard when sometimes I feel like I'M barely making it. :) But it's what we signed up for when we made tiny humans. lol
 

AMcSwain

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#7
Yep. And nope. We have to get them ready instead - get them equipped to make it out here. Which is hard when sometimes I feel like I'M barely making it. :) But it's what we signed up for when we made tiny humans. lol
It just drives me crazy because one minute I’ll be fine and then he just says something that of course takes my mind to a whole other level and I can’t come back down.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#8
It just drives me crazy because one minute I’ll be fine and then he just says something that of course takes my mind to a whole other level and I can’t come back down.
I'm so sorry you're going through that. :( Do you think there's something behind it that makes it trigger you so much like that? Like maybe something from your own upbringing? If you're going to counseling/therapy right now for anxiety, it might be worth bringing up. I know that a lot of my trouble with my son has to do with how I was raised and some things that were still buried in there - ways I react to him, anxiety I feel, ANGER I feel...it's not his fault, of course, but it really hits me hard sometimes.

You sound like a great parent - the bad ones don't worry this much. :) You got this...
 

AMcSwain

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#9
I'm so sorry you're going through that. :( Do you think there's something behind it that makes it trigger you so much like that? Like maybe something from your own upbringing? If you're going to counseling/therapy right now for anxiety, it might be worth bringing up. I know that a lot of my trouble with my son has to do with how I was raised and some things that were still buried in there - ways I react to him, anxiety I feel, ANGER I feel...it's not his fault, of course, but it really hits me hard sometimes.

You sound like a great parent - the bad ones don't worry this much. :) You got this...
I don’t go to counseling but I have been considering it. I just know how hateful the world is and it’s hard for me when something is bothering him and I know something is but he will only tel bits a pieces. i Just want to make everything ok for him and I know I can’t but my anxiety won’t listen lol
 
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