llamalove5
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- Jan 16, 2021
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My bf and I took in a one year old dog from an old co-worker of mine who could not provide for the dog any longer. Overall, she is well behaved. Knows basic commands, is housetrained, and knows how to walk on the leash. We have been working on crate training which has certainly been tough but overall is improving I think. We’ve also been working on when is play time versus when is relax time and it’s getting a bit better.
And yet I can’t shake the feeling that something is just off and I constantly have anxiety. I don’t have much of an appetite, I average about a meal a day since we got her just over 2 weeks ago. Both my bf and I grew up with dogs and we’ve wanted our own for years and now felt like we were both financially stable and ready. We frequently dog sit for friends and feel like we understand the responsibilities. So I don’t understand why I don’t feel excited about this.
I think partially it’s due to the unofficial nature of it all. We were not making a lot of progress with rescues so when I saw this old coworker was looking to rehome her dog I figured it was fate. We met her and took her the same day so I didn’t have a lot of time to truly process it.
She also is a bit larger than what we were looking for (she’s 50 lbs and we were looking in the 20-30lbs range) and I’m ultimately afraid her energy level just isn’t a good match for us. She’s not crazy energy like a husky but definitely wants to run around a play more than I’m used to (both my bf and my parent’s dogs are very chill, like to play but don’t bother you to do so, very content to entertain themselves). Our trainer has said we need to be the boss of when play time is so we’ve put her toys away and we choose when to play. But when she cries and I can’t/don’t want to play (due to working or just simply wanting some down time) I feel awful. I keep hearing all the dog people from the internet screaming in my head saying I’m terrible for not constantly playing with her and giving her enrichment and all that.
It gives me doubts like yes she’s good and her life with us isn’t bad but maybe another family could give her an even better life. I worry she is bored and doesn’t like us that much. I don’t know. Sometimes I find myself going about my day, she’s not even doing anything, and I still feel off. Like something just feels not right. I can’t tell if this feeling will fade with time or if it’s just simply not the right fit for us (and that it’s not anyone’s fault). I wake up with anxiety daily, feeling very forgetful/brain fog, can’t really focus on work although it has gotten better between week 1 and 2. Whereas with my parent’s dog, I would die for him no question. I love him so much, I tear up even thinking of the day he is no longer with us, and I don’t find myself feeling burdened by him at all. And to be clear we are doing daily training with our dog and I am truly actively trying to bond with her, I guess it’s just not coming as naturally to us. It feels like our love languages are different, so to speak.
Like I said, I’ve wanted a dog for years and I know dogs are family. They are a big responsibility and I know that. But I find it comes so naturally to others like they get a dog and it’s no big deal and I am seriously struggling with it. I know “puppy blues” exist and I certainly am dealing with that but I wonder if it’s more than feeling a little sad (and I know that nobody can really tell me for sure). My bf and I have told ourselves after one month of having her we’re going to do a little mental check in with each other to discuss if we feel better after some time or if we’re still not sure. That makes me feel better. I’m not looking for training advice necessarily but looking for coping mechanisms for my anxiety. I see a therapist and have discussed this with her but hopefully someone here can tell me strategies to reduce anxiety. Her telling me to breath deeply isn’t really cutting it haha. Also if you’re going to be rude and tell me I’m terrible or I don’t deserve a dog please save it. Rest assured I have spared no expense or effort truly doing my best to make her life great.
And yet I can’t shake the feeling that something is just off and I constantly have anxiety. I don’t have much of an appetite, I average about a meal a day since we got her just over 2 weeks ago. Both my bf and I grew up with dogs and we’ve wanted our own for years and now felt like we were both financially stable and ready. We frequently dog sit for friends and feel like we understand the responsibilities. So I don’t understand why I don’t feel excited about this.
I think partially it’s due to the unofficial nature of it all. We were not making a lot of progress with rescues so when I saw this old coworker was looking to rehome her dog I figured it was fate. We met her and took her the same day so I didn’t have a lot of time to truly process it.
She also is a bit larger than what we were looking for (she’s 50 lbs and we were looking in the 20-30lbs range) and I’m ultimately afraid her energy level just isn’t a good match for us. She’s not crazy energy like a husky but definitely wants to run around a play more than I’m used to (both my bf and my parent’s dogs are very chill, like to play but don’t bother you to do so, very content to entertain themselves). Our trainer has said we need to be the boss of when play time is so we’ve put her toys away and we choose when to play. But when she cries and I can’t/don’t want to play (due to working or just simply wanting some down time) I feel awful. I keep hearing all the dog people from the internet screaming in my head saying I’m terrible for not constantly playing with her and giving her enrichment and all that.
It gives me doubts like yes she’s good and her life with us isn’t bad but maybe another family could give her an even better life. I worry she is bored and doesn’t like us that much. I don’t know. Sometimes I find myself going about my day, she’s not even doing anything, and I still feel off. Like something just feels not right. I can’t tell if this feeling will fade with time or if it’s just simply not the right fit for us (and that it’s not anyone’s fault). I wake up with anxiety daily, feeling very forgetful/brain fog, can’t really focus on work although it has gotten better between week 1 and 2. Whereas with my parent’s dog, I would die for him no question. I love him so much, I tear up even thinking of the day he is no longer with us, and I don’t find myself feeling burdened by him at all. And to be clear we are doing daily training with our dog and I am truly actively trying to bond with her, I guess it’s just not coming as naturally to us. It feels like our love languages are different, so to speak.
Like I said, I’ve wanted a dog for years and I know dogs are family. They are a big responsibility and I know that. But I find it comes so naturally to others like they get a dog and it’s no big deal and I am seriously struggling with it. I know “puppy blues” exist and I certainly am dealing with that but I wonder if it’s more than feeling a little sad (and I know that nobody can really tell me for sure). My bf and I have told ourselves after one month of having her we’re going to do a little mental check in with each other to discuss if we feel better after some time or if we’re still not sure. That makes me feel better. I’m not looking for training advice necessarily but looking for coping mechanisms for my anxiety. I see a therapist and have discussed this with her but hopefully someone here can tell me strategies to reduce anxiety. Her telling me to breath deeply isn’t really cutting it haha. Also if you’re going to be rude and tell me I’m terrible or I don’t deserve a dog please save it. Rest assured I have spared no expense or effort truly doing my best to make her life great.