Anxiety about social situations

[Pandora593]

How do I get a handle on being around people? I feel bad. My bf always wants me to hang out with his friends and do couple things but I just absolutely HATE group social things. It’s almost like... overstimulating. To be around many people for long periods of time and thats not just with friends. I get like that in the city, at festivals, etc. i just get so burned out being around people.. but with his friends I always feel like I’m the odd one out. Imtthe youngest in the group. My job is totally different. My hobbies are totally different... etc. they’re super nice and inviting but In my head i feel like theyd have more fun without me there since I don’t blend in with the group:/...A billion “ what ifs” play out in my head and make me physically ill. I sweat, my heart races, i get stomach pains.. and what’s worse is it’s become the situation with even MY friends. I find myself freaking out like that with people even I know, but its a thousanndddd times worse with people he knows since theyre strangers to me. I always have this feeling of “if I dont fit in then i dont belong” which i know isnt true but that doesnt stop me from freaking out when im invited to things:/..... I’ve become the person who makes plans or agrees to something rhen day of , I run away saying im sick:/.... the person who will drive an hr away to an interview but turn around and go home if I can’t find a parking spot or dont know what door to go in... my social anxiety is getting so much worse and idk what to do idk how to not feel like the odd one out.. how to not look lost or idk do something embarrassing in public...how to not feel like people are going to judge or hurt me... and how to not feel so drained around groups of strangers...


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[Rosie123]

It does sound like you have social anxiety, but for sure you are an introvert and probably highly sensitive. I would suggest Elaine Aron's book 'The Highly Sensitive Person' if you haven't heard of it; you might just recognize yourself in it. But basically you are right, you do find large groups of people to be overstimulating, and that is OK. It's not likely to change, but you can manage your life differently in order to do social things on your terms. Just because other people enjoy big festivals or certain hobbies or whatever doesn't mean you have to. Your job will be to focus on what suits your true nature.