Anxiety about rejoining world

[chickentender]

I've recently noticed that since staying home starting in 2020, my anxiety had gotten to a better place.

Now that people are learning to live with covid and rejoining society, I am being left behind. I have always had germaphobia and I suffer from health anxiety. I am still avoiding people to the point that I am behind by one booster dose because I am afraid to go inside to get it. I have delayed check ups of any kind since 2019.

When I think of rejoining the world, even with precautions, I start to get panic attacks and flare ups of health anxiety (not about any one particular health issue, just general anxiety over any little part of my health).

How did you all manage to rejoin society after this despite your health anxiety? I can't speak to my therapist because she and I have never seen eye to eye on this topic and when I talk to her, it doesn't help me and makes me feel worse and more lonely.

 

[Cuchculan]

You could start by doing small things. Not simply running back out there and think everything will be as it was before. Short walks. Just to get used to been back outside the house again. Maybe a little bit further by the day. Might be a small shop close to were you live. Make that a challenge for yourself. To enter that shop. Buy something. Then walk back home again. Simply build it up over time.

If that was my therapist I would be looking for a new one. Just been honest. if you can't speak to her over something that is not very good at all. Granted she might have her ways of doing things. So not trying to be unfair to her. But there should be a common ground for most things. Were you feel safe talking to her about anything.

 

[Jonathan123]

I've recently noticed that since staying home starting in 2020, my anxiety had gotten to a better place.

Now that people are learning to live with covid and rejoining society, I am being left behind. I have always had germaphobia and I suffer from health anxiety. I am still avoiding people to the point that I am behind by one booster dose because I am afraid to go inside to get it. I have delayed check ups of any kind since 2019.

When I think of rejoining the world, even with precautions, I start to get panic attacks and flare ups of health anxiety (not about any one particular health issue, just general anxiety over any little part of my health).

How did you all manage to rejoin society after this despite your health anxiety? I can't speak to my therapist because she and I have never seen eye to eye on this topic and when I talk to her, it doesn't help me and makes me feel worse and more lonely.

First of all if you don't see eye to eye with your therapist and feel worse after a visit get another therapist. This so so important for your mental health. There should never be any question of not seeing eye to eye with a therapist because the therapist's job is to remain entirely neutral. It is often difficult for a counsellor to remain neutral in the circumstances of many consultations, but it has to be so. I speak from experience as a counsellor. Your agoraphobia, because that is what it is, has become a habit. You fear the feeling of fear! Who wouldn't? Overcoming that fear is not easy by any means, but it can be done given the will. It can be done by acceptance.
It does sound as if you are 'struggling' with 'IT'. Fighting, struggling all add up to more anxiety, more fear. You feel better at home because you are in your safe zone. But what is different from you at home and you going out? It's the same YOU so what is the difference? Fear!! As soon as fear enters the picture all logic and reason go out of the window. There is no alternative in agoraphobia but to do it. Slowly one stage at a time. Just down to the corner and back, then to a shop, but with complete acceptance of how you feel. Nothing will come to you. YOU have to come to it! Panic is harmless although it may not seem so. I am not for one moment minimising your fear, God knows, been there!! It takes courage to do it all, but believe it or not, you do have the courage, everyone has. So from this moment on. not tomorrow or next week, but now, accept it all without adding 'second fear'. That's the OMG's and the 'what ifs'. You can and will enjoy life again. oh yes you will if you persist with acceptance.

 

[chickentender]

Thank you for your replies. To be clear. I do leave my house, but I only walk to secluded areas where I see very few people and the people I see, I can stay very far away from. I am afraid of close human contact now and entering inside of places that are not my house.

Unfortunately, where I live does not have many options for therapists. To the point that I see my therapist and a family member sees my therapist's spouse because for years, they have been the only ones taking on new patients of the few therapists we have here.

My area is having a mental health crisis due to lack of access to mental health care and has recently had to open a drop in center where people can go to be stabilized in mental health emergencies because due to lack of access to care, those are up a lot now especially since the start of the pandemic.
I should add that I thought of trying Better Help to find a new therapist when that was being promoted everywhere but then I read that they weren't reputable. If any of you know of a service that I could look into otherwise that is upstanding, please let me know.

I'm in the US by they way, so it has to be a place where I can use health insurance so I can afford it.

 

[Jonathan123]

Thank you for your replies. To be clear. I do leave my house, but I only walk to secluded areas where I see very few people and the people I see, I can stay very far away from. I am afraid of close human contact now and entering inside of places that are not my house.

Unfortunately, where I live does not have many options for therapists. To the point that I see my therapist and a family member sees my therapist's spouse because for years, they have been the only ones taking on new patients of the few therapists we have here.

My area is having a mental health crisis due to lack of access to mental health care and has recently had to open a drop in center where people can go to be stabilized in mental health emergencies because due to lack of access to care, those are up a lot now especially since the start of the pandemic.
I should add that I thought of trying Better Help to find a new therapist when that was being promoted everywhere but then I read that they weren't reputable. If any of you know of a service that I could look into otherwise that is upstanding, please let me know.

I'm in the US by they way, so it has to be a place where I can use health insurance so I can afford it.

Unfortunately I am in the UK so I can't direct you to any good places. My experience of US healthcare has not been good. It seems that without insurance you can be left to die. That may be a misconception, but it so often feels that way. But even in the UK with the NHS mental care is not what it should be. We are only seeing the tip of the iceberg as far as mental heath goes after covid.
It does sound like you have a social anxiety problem. Meeting and talking to people is so often difficult in anxiety. As for partying or going anywhere where there are lots of people, that is out. But as I and others have said, do it in stages. Invariably, when you get on the subject of health with most people you get an 'organ' recital, until it comes to mental health then they clam up.
Any sort of mental health problem seems to frighten so many. But anxiety is an illness just like any other, and recover is always possible as with any other illness. Because it can't be seen or diagnosed through tests and so on, many professionals put it all down to 'nerves' and dish out the antidepressants! Anxiety has so many facets, and that's what is so bewildering. And what I call the 'YO YO' effect, up one day, down the next, is not only confusing but frightening.