anxiety about having fun.

[beautifullybree]

This topic might seem a little strange for you all. Lately I've been having anxiety over fun! By that I mean anytime I want to enjoy myself I feel like I don't deserve it and get anxious and usually don't follow through. I got invited to a concert this past week and I've never been to one before. I didn't end up going even though its always been on my bucket list. I made up a bunch of implausible scenarios in my head and reasons I shouldn't go..so I didn't . Does anyone else "rain on their own parade" or is that just Me?

 

[Sarah8924]

You do deserve it. That is your own self telling you differently. Have you tried any mediation? If not look into that it has helped me greatly. Also look up Les Brown motivational speaker. His speeches help me so much to get through the hard time or just through the day.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I don't really get anxious over this one, but sometimes when I'm having fun, I'm worried for something bad to happen to me or the people that I am with, and I'm mostly worried about how am I going to return to my house, it's stupid, I know! But I have had really bad experiences when it comes to this... If I don't have anyone to get me a ride I need to look for public transportation, and on my country, itdoesn't work that well, but I think that unsafety is one of my biggest concerns when it comes to having fun.

 

[rz3300]

Well this immediately reminded me of another thread on this forum about the question of whether or not we are afraid of being happy. This is pretty similar to that one, and I actually had to sit and think about it a little bit. When you start to think about things have happened in your life and just look at the surface, sometimes you can come away with thinking about how it just sounds like someone who does not een want to have fun. The effort is not there, and of course that would come from knowing that it is not worth the efforts (or having that mindset).

 

[Panic57]

I get anxious about having fun when I'm with other people because I feel like I'm expected to act as hyper and happy as everyone else or I'm a buzzkill. I can't get out of my head enough to really enjoy being with other people that I start feeling like a voyeur as I enjoy everyone else really have fun while I fake it. It's a horrid cycle where I feel anxious about having fun and then fake it and feel guilty, then I feel more anxious that people will know I'm faking it and not invite me again.

 

[Corzhens]

For me, life should be enjoyed so I guess I am positive when it comes to fun. In fact, I even spend when I want to have fun. But I understand that there are people who have their own types of anxiety. And I believe that it is up to the person to conquer whatever fear is in his mind. But on the positive side, once you conquer the fear, it is something like "been there, done that" and the experience you gained particularly in the conquest of your anxiety would make you a stronger person. I cannot think of a person with anxiety on having fun right now but I'm there is at least one in my circle with that kind of anxiety.

 

[Alex]

It's not just you at all. I get told to have fun and relax more, but I do in my own way and not what people assume is fun. I'm quite a serious person anyhow and also have always had responsibility so to let my hair down has always been harder for me. I do feel there is pressure and even my parents keep telling me to have more fun, but to me responsibility always comes first. I derive pleasure from things that others may not like eating chocolate cake, and sitting and reading a book by the beach. Each of us has different ideas of fun and we should respect that.


I do have my festival loving friends and I have enjoyed them too, but I do have to be in the mood. I have cancelled outings because I wasn't in the mood, as that is important for me to be in the right frame of mind.

 

[AlysBunny]

I have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy things but I think a lot of it is self-talk. I talk myself into being anxious. It's all in my own head after all. No matter how much I was looking forward to something, at about 24 hours before, I get really worried about it. What if there's no parking? What if there is parking but I end up parked in so that I have to stay longer than I want to? What if no one talks to me and I just sit there silent and alone? What if I have a panic attack? What if ....? It is never ending. Sometimes I end up skipping things if I can't turn the thoughts back around to something even remotely neutral. If there's no parking, I can park farther away and walk to the event. I can choose not to park somewhere I'll get parked in and let the event organizer know that I may need to leave early.I can actively try to talk to people. I try to take the pressure off myself by defining success differently - like saying that just going and staying for 30 minutes is enough. If I'm not having fun, I can always leave. A lot of the time, if I can just get myself through those first few minutes, I'm fine.

 

[MissTea]

There are instances where you think that you want something and yet when you really think about it, you wanted the idea of it. Then there are times when people are actually afraid of the very things that they think they want, like fun or success. And then when we are faced with those situations, we tend to sabotage our own efforts. It's something that we have to really dig deep and find out where it originated from otherwise it will always stand in the way of us experiencing the life that we would love to live.

 

[djordjem87]

This is actually a misunderstanding of a sort because I have never been anxious about having fun, I was anxious about having the same kind of fun everybody else have. Some people, for example, like rock and roll music but still, they can go on a hip hop party. Sometimes I cannot do that. If I have to participate is someone else's understanding of fun I just get very anxious about every step of it. I project all possible variations and it is devastating in the end of all of them. How can I explain that right now having fun for me is laying in my bed and listen to Bach?

 

[SirJoe]

I can understand why people would become anxious about having fun. If you decide to go to a theme park for instance and you have planned the trip months in advanced, it's natural that there might be a certain amount of nervousness and anxiety as the date of the trip approaches. What if it's not all that it's cracked up to be, what if something goes wrong. I find that focusing on the positive side of things helps put these thoughts to the side.

 

[beautifullybree]

Thanks everyone! I'm always questioning the day before every time. I ask so many questions that you all are asking as well. Its comforting to see I'm not alone.

 

[L.Snowflake]

I used to get like REALLY anxious before any event, at some point I was convinced that I could predict that there was gonna happen something bad, but now whenever I get those feelings I tell myself that even if something bad might happen I can deal with it, but as soon as you get out of the house, even if you kinda force yourself to, you understand that there are too many good memories waiting for you. What helped me have less anxiety is having a person I trust near me all the time, at least until that doubtful part of you is convinced that you not only deserve to have fun and be happy, but also there are manyy more amazing adventures ahead .

 

[SirJoe]

I used to get like REALLY anxious before any event' date=' at some point I was convinced that I could predict that there was gonna happen something bad, but now whenever I get those feelings I tell myself that even if something bad might happen I can deal with it, but as soon as you get out of the house, even if you kinda force yourself to, you understand that there are too many good memories waiting for you. What helped me have less anxiety is having a person I trust near me all the time, at least until that doubtful part of you is convinced that you not only deserve to have fun and be happy, but also there are manyy more amazing adventures ahead .[/quote']
I think that is really the key. If you release that even if something could go wrong it's important that you know that there is nothing that we can't handle and deal with. If you worry about what might happen you won't really have that much fun.

 

[LovelyLiz]

I get this feeling a lot - especially when a social event means running into people who I've not seen for a while, and I'm nervous about what they'll think of me. I think it's just a matter of putting more importance on the one social interaction than is appropriate, imagining that there'll be deeper and longer consequences for things going wrong than there actually would be.


I think the key has to be to push yourself to challenge your fears, but not so far that you feel totally overwhelmed.

 

[Sue]

I do all the time but not because I don't think I deserve it but just because it makes me anxious at the thought of going anywhere to have fun. I just get all worked up about it and then I usually talk myself out of going and make an excuse. I know if I were to go I would probably have a good time but the thought of going is too much for me to handle.

 

[KW2496]

I sometimes feel this way, and it has increased a lot since I started working from home. When there is things I know I need to get done, I have a hard time switching into fun mode. The trouble is there will always be other things that need to get done so I can't just never let myself have fun. I think that it's good to do those fun things though, because we all do deserve them.

 

[thecorinthian]

Well I think this is an experience everyone has felt in one way or another. When I have fun sometimes I just stop to think, do I deserve to be happy? or I stop and think that later I will be sad or angry because this is the cycle of life and emotions. The thing about anxiety is sometimes it makes us think about unnecessary, often paranoid scenarios when all we have to be is to be in the moment of things. Don't think about having fun and just do.