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Angry as hell

XmasCarol52

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I didn't celebrate new years either.
They make way to much of it my husband use to say it is only an excuse to get drunk.I was up when it came in but it meant nothing to me.When I was younger it did I remember one time I went to my cousins for New Years even i drank to much the next day I was so sick and my mother was laughing she said that is what you get when u drink so much.It was awful I never felt so sick in my life.
 

janemariesayed

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It is just another day, but.....

It is a new year!

I didn't go out, but the friend who took me out for Xmas dinner, I am going to take him out in January for a winter carvery and a bottle of wine. That is good enough for a new year for me. I had a nice early night last night and woke up in good time to walk the dogs this morning before the world woke up. I don't like to take them out when there are people about. Part of my agoraphobia. lol
 

XmasCarol52

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It is just another day, but.....

It is a new year!

I didn't go out, but the friend who took me out for Xmas dinner, I am going to take him out in January for a winter carvery and a bottle of wine. That is good enough for a new year for me. I had a nice early night last night and woke up in good time to walk the dogs this morning before the world woke up. I don't like to take them out when there are people about. Part of my agoraphobia. lol
I was talking to a male friend of mine who suffers with anxieties he had a thought well you know when you are up in heaven we wont be like this he told me squeeze a little bit of hope from heaven so then maybe it can take away some of our mental pain,i like that
 

janemariesayed

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I was talking to a male friend of mine who suffers with anxieties he had a thought well you know when you are up in heaven we wont be like this he told me squeeze a little bit of hope from heaven so then maybe it can take away some of our mental pain,i like that
That is such a lovely thing for your friend to say. Well, here is squeezing a little bit of heaven's hope your way Carol. ;)
 

janemariesayed

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son of a bitch my heat went out again .
Oh, that brown smelly stuff! Well, if it is any consolation I am freezing right now. I'll have heating tomorrow but I'm wrapped up in so many layers. Go wrap yourself up Carol, please get warm. I even have a duvet downstairs in the lounge to wrap myself up in while I watch TV. Go get warm and put a bobble hat on.:happy: I really, really wish that sending you a hug would actually warm you up.
 

XmasCarol52

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The kid is here to work on it.again i dont think he knows what he is doing he is only 21.he is reading the manual.oh get this my next door neighbors went out too twice in two days that makes Shelia,Eric,Annette,and now me all the same issue the furnaces aRE over 7 years old and they havent cleaned them yet.so i got the little heater they gave me on
 

XmasCarol52

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so here is another day and my anxieties and deopression are very high right as of now.Why because I had no heat again this morning ,i tried calling my land lady no answer then my handy man no answer i was so upset and fed up I yelled like crazy,So my mom suggested I call 911 which I did they cut the power on the furnace and called my land lady at a different no she is such a bitch,she says you dont call 911 unless u have no heat and i had a small heater running she told me because my heat is 72 that is good we have to talk about it talk about what she expects me to sit here until it gets to be like 68 then i can freeze she says i have heat how can i have heat when the damn thing isnt running?That is so lame she could care less most likely because she got caught not helping me out,to bad how can i call the handy man when his phone doesnt even work he told me to call that witch oh sure and i will have to listen to here again mouthing off ,i am so anxious today I just cannot relax.I have tried but my heart is racing and i am scared,how can you live like this being scared you may freeze to death.SHe isnt any help I have had it it isnt as if my anxieties arent bad enough I have to put up with her ****. SHe doenst know Jack **** lets see her lose heat and see how she likes it
 

janemariesayed

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The kid is here to work on it.again i dont think he knows what he is doing he is only 21.he is reading the manual.oh get this my next door neighbors went out too twice in two days that makes Shelia,Eric,Annette,and now me all the same issue the furnaces aRE over 7 years old and they havent cleaned them yet.so i got the little heater they gave me on
Surely your landlady must be responsible? When I had property in the USA I had to make sure that it was all up to date and working properly. You go ahead and call 911 if you don't have heating. And get yourself wrapped up in a blanket or something to keep yourself safe from the cold.
 

XmasCarol52

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She is I think she loves to bully me and others she actually threatened to evict my neighbor once because of the cat being outside that cat is a good cat never bothered anyone .I think she didnt like me calling 911 because she doesnt want anyone to know outside of this housing authority to know that I have no heat those little heaters are nice but boy can they ever dry your sinuses out.NOw I have been so scared to be alone,this isnt easy for me having to handle things on my own,Gosh I wish my husband was still here he would know what to do and have anxieties doesnt help matters either but i have a friend next door is cares about me can you believe she stopped by last night to make sure i have heat also she offered me a heater but i showed her i got some,SHe told me when she goes out today she is going to check in on me she did about 8am she also told me she would be home later,well at least I got her. I should asks for her phone number,just in case,She is a very nice person she brought me a pkg of coconut dream cookies fcr christmas and a pkg of land o lakes vanilla hot chocolate it was kind of like a birthday gift too.She cares more about me then my own kids do I told my son about it he said to trip the furnace thing then to go and reset the furnace i have no idea how to do that and guess what he never even came by to see if I was alright but he had no problem going to my moms which is further away in brought her some dinner,O f course I am upset it wouldnt have hurt him to check in on me,
 

Concernedgal

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Getting people to give 's crap about you because you have an anxiety disorder sucks. You would think that the people you codo rely on most would be your family. I have a mother that would rather take my sisters anywhere they wantedto go and do whatever they want to but with me....it likepulling teeth. I am so sick and tired. I'm tired in my heart,my soul and my mind. It's not fair! I'm lying here in bed right now in a strong pit of depression. I don't want to get up or do anything. I want to sleep. And I want to eat. I want to stay in bed. But most of all.... I do think want this. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Whats it gonna take to be loved and cared about? What's it gonna take to be understood? They are your family carol. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. But, i'm glad that you found that with someone. Focus on that. Your a great person carol and it's their loss...not yours. Although you may feel like it is .
 

XmasCarol52

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Getting people to give 's crap about you because you have an anxiety disorder sucks. You would think that the people you codo rely on most would be your family. I have a mother that would rather take my sisters anywhere they wantedto go and do whatever they want to but with me....it likepulling teeth. I am so sick and tired. I'm tired in my heart,my soul and my mind. It's not fair! I'm lying here in bed right now in a strong pit of depression. I don't want to get up or do anything. I want to sleep. And I want to eat. I want to stay in bed. But most of all.... I do think want this. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Whats it gonna take to be loved and cared about? What's it gonna take to be understood? They are your family carol. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. But, i'm glad that you found that with someone. Focus on that. Your a great person carol and it's their loss...not yours. Although you may feel like it is .
the witch called me lat night just to see if I was alright.Who does she think she is kidding I am not buying it i just told her I am very anxious I cannot help but think she had a motive for calling,probably is worried because i went and called 911 and it made her look bad she probably didnt want anyone to know about the heating problems we have been having outside our apt well to bad Maybe she is also worried about getting reamed out,I do not trust this woman asa far as you can throw here perhaps her family handyman went and told her what I said about me not wanting to call her,oh ya dhe tofd me i could call her anytime but when i mentined what if something happens in the middle of the night cannot call you then.Guess what she said that is right well I am sorry she is the land lady of this building she is responsible for what goes on here and the people living her she should be on call 24hours a day.I think all she cares about is bullying people and the rent money,This woman could care less how i feel let alone being anxious.She needs to read a book on anxieties ,depression and bipolar She could care less if we freeze one guy last week when the temps didnt make it out of the teeens one man was sitting in his apt with a coat hat and gloves on,I was told this no heater maybe she should go and sit in that apt and see how it feels with no heat.She is nothing to me just a snob and I do not trust her as far as i can throw her.She can be mean and she thinks she knows everything to.I hope someday when she is ill she feels what we feel then lets see her talk.This morning i havent beenm up for ten minutes and my anxieties are already high why do i even bother to get up? I could cry
 
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