And there I go again

[Anonymous_12343]

Hi, good evening.
I know I've been bothering you quite a lot these two days. I'm really sorry
Today I have been quite serene, even if I felt lonely, but it's ok. But then, I did, again, three things:
1. I lied to my parents about my friendships (they think I'm friends with all my classmates but it's not true and I don't wanna disappoint them because, in fact, I didn't really fit in the classroom);
2. I felt stupid again, because I didn't understand an exercise;
3. I skipped studying again and hid in my fictional world again. I thought "Hey, it will be just five minutes"...but it wasn't true. I've been repeating all the afternoon to myself that I'd hurry up and then start studying, but I just kept depressing myself. I also lied to my parents about this too.
Why do I always do progress, and then fall back into the same mistakes? I hate myself for this! I'll have to study during this night while my parents don't know and I'll probably cry. And tomorrow I'll be exhausted as always. It is a cycle that doesn't end. I hate this.
I am really sorry if I keep writing here, but I really struggle expressing my feelings in real life and writing them down in an anonymous way makes me more comfortable. Again, sorry for bothering

 

[MATD]

What you describe is procrastination, putting off what you need to do. This is typical in anxiety and depression. The way forward is honesty, with yourself and your parents. The longer you put it off, the longer you will suffer. And there is no need to suffer. So your parents might be disappointed, but I can assure you the disappointment will be because you were dishonest, not because you weren’t the most popular kid in school.

 

[Anonymous_12343]

What you describe is procrastination, putting off what you need to do. This is typical in anxiety and depression. The way forward is honesty, with yourself and your parents. The longer you put it off, the longer you will suffer. And there is no need to suffer. So your parents might be disappointed, but I can assure you the disappointment will be because you were dishonest, not because you weren’t the most popular kid in school.

I know, sorry... it's just that I see people around me with a lot of friends and I see myself always alone. When I talk to my classmates, they look at me as if I'm stupid and I feel so unsure and insicure. I've always been isolated at school, because my interests don't fit with other people's and because I like studying. I always fear being hurt again but I see my parents so worried about me making friends and I don't want to make them worry. I feel like I'm not the daughter I should be

 

[MATD]

You need to be yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are who you are. You don’t have to be a copy of someone else and as you can see for yourself, you are making yourself miserable trying to “fit in.” If everyone was identical, it would be a very boring world. Individualism is what sets us apart from another person. Start looking at yourself from this perspective because it is true. If you like yourself, it shows and it actually draws others to you. So start thinking of yourself as an individual, not someone who has to “fit in.” Start accepting yourself for who you are, allow yourself to be who you are. You are good enough. Also be aware that there are plenty of other people who feel like you do. This is so very common in the teenage years, we are trying to figure out where we “fit in” in the grand scheme of life. But we fall victim to comparing ourselves to others instead of looking at our own positive traits and learning to appreciate ourselves for those traits. We put ourselves through a lot of needless misery when all we really need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

Our parents want the best for us, but sometimes parents don’t teach us important things like being who we are and liking ourselves. Parents are not perfect, no one is perfect. So while it may seem your parents may be disappointed, what they really want is for you to be happy and able to cope with all the ups and downs in life. Sometimes this point is not brought out and we misinterpret what our parents expect from us. And it seems you are assuming what others think, which is not based in reality, but upon what you feel about yourself. This is a self imposed judgment upon yourself. Very typical, but also very not necessary. Stop assuming what others think, it only compounds your self doubt. Like yourself, appreciate your good qualities, stop comparing yourself to others, stop judging yourself, allow yourself to be happy and part of the imperfect human race. There you will find the much happier an peaceful person that you are.

 

[Anonymous_12343]

You need to be yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are who you are. You don’t have to be a copy of someone else and as you can see for yourself, you are making yourself miserable trying to “fit in.” If everyone was identical, it would be a very boring world. Individualism is what sets us apart from another person. Start looking at yourself from this perspective because it is true. If you like yourself, it shows and it actually draws others to you. So start thinking of yourself as an individual, not someone who has to “fit in.” Start accepting yourself for who you are, allow yourself to be who you are. You are good enough. Also be aware that there are plenty of other people who feel like you do. This is so very common in the teenage years, we are trying to figure out where we “fit in” in the grand scheme of life. But we fall victim to comparing ourselves to others instead of looking at our own positive traits and learning to appreciate ourselves for those traits. We put ourselves through a lot of needless misery when all we really need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

Our parents want the best for us, but sometimes parents don’t teach us important things like being who we are and liking ourselves. Parents are not perfect, no one is perfect. So while it may seem your parents may be disappointed, what they really want is for you to be happy and able to cope with all the ups and downs in life. Sometimes this point is not brought out and we misinterpret what our parents expect from us. And it seems you are assuming what others think, which is not based in reality, but upon what you feel about yourself. This is a self imposed judgment upon yourself. Very typical, but also very not necessary. Stop assuming what others think, it only compounds your self doubt. Like yourself, appreciate your good qualities, stop comparing yourself to others, stop judging yourself, allow yourself to be happy and part of the imperfect human race. There you will find the much happier an peaceful person that you are.

Thank you...really...