Something I really struggle to explain to people is that just because I have a PhD in applied maths doesn’t mean I am super confident or quick to learn. People assume just because I have this, in addition to other good achievements in my past, that I will be some kind of genius to address every problem at hand.
Even when it seems as if the problem is related to something I specialised in for that PhD, very often I’ve found that they are in fact worlds apart.
These other achievements include a First in maths at Undergraduate and a Distinction in statistics at Masters, which at first glance seem as if I must be really smart, but the truth is I am very hesitant and not confident in my ability. For my entire life I have struggled immensely to concentrate and also take a long while before I learn the ropes so it feels like a true paradox. I believe I have some form of dyslexia but when I’ve said this to others they laugh and say you have a PhD so no.
The impact is people expect big and I achieve small, and feel I am constantly being judged and constantly failing. This happens among my family, friends and colleagues at different workplaces.
As a result, I constantly see colleagues with far fewer achievements yet more confidence and drive get to heights I don’t feel capable of taking on.
This has been the hardest struggle in my whole life, and I stress is ever present, and I wonder if anyone else has felt similar. Would be so interested to hear your thoughts.
Even when it seems as if the problem is related to something I specialised in for that PhD, very often I’ve found that they are in fact worlds apart.
These other achievements include a First in maths at Undergraduate and a Distinction in statistics at Masters, which at first glance seem as if I must be really smart, but the truth is I am very hesitant and not confident in my ability. For my entire life I have struggled immensely to concentrate and also take a long while before I learn the ropes so it feels like a true paradox. I believe I have some form of dyslexia but when I’ve said this to others they laugh and say you have a PhD so no.
The impact is people expect big and I achieve small, and feel I am constantly being judged and constantly failing. This happens among my family, friends and colleagues at different workplaces.
As a result, I constantly see colleagues with far fewer achievements yet more confidence and drive get to heights I don’t feel capable of taking on.
This has been the hardest struggle in my whole life, and I stress is ever present, and I wonder if anyone else has felt similar. Would be so interested to hear your thoughts.
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