Am I ever gonna move on from my past

[Rana]

I’m started to feel ashamed that at my age I’m still effected by the way I was treated at school. To this day I never could like myself or even feel comfortable going out of the house. If I think I look good it doesn’t last. I’m triggered by songs movies that remind me of the way I’ve felt. I was rejected by every guy I liked. It wasn’t that that didn’t like me that is what hurt me I’d was what they said and way they treated me after. They would all tell my that I was very unattractive and would rub it in my face the girls they liked. I was made to feel less than. For years after they would be nasty and I would see them give me dirty hateful looks like I don’t deserve to be near him when I was just going to school.

Hearing how I’m not attactive for years it’s difficult to just forget it. I don’t think I look bad or even then there was nothing wrong with me. Its made me angry and I hate that i feel this way. To this day I don’t think these guys even think they did anything wrong I do t expect them to ever say they were wrong. I don’t even care about them but they made me feel like a hideous girl makes it that I’ll never be able to find love and that I’ll be alone forever. I want to like myself even if no guy ever does I serene to like myself and not go through years hating myself cause of them. What should I do to stop feeling this way

 

[Izthewiz]

Those memories can dig deep i know how you may feel.
But you have to let go of them if you want to move forward what someone thinks of
you shouldn't matter especially if its hurtful and abusive.

look in the mirror and note the positive features you do have, for me personally vanity is skin deep and almost meaningless
but heart is what matters.

 

[MATD]

The way we perceived our past and how we reacted to it then set the stage for now. We’ve carried that garbage with us. It is widely known that children can be very cruel and your post confirms that. When we are kids we are learning about the world around us and about ourselves. It’s highly likely your parents did not nurture you in a positive manner, a very common theme in folks with anxiety issues. Therefore you didn’t develop a sense of self confidence needed to help you through the rough times. But you can recover and develop that confidence you need. Practicing acceptance is not only the key to anxiety recovery but the practice in itself will help build confidence. Keep at it. Have compassion for that young girl who was hurt and work toward putting it in it’s proper perspective. It’s not as much about how you look but about your level of confidence in yourself. Stop looking in the mirror and start looking inside yourself. That’s what really counts.

 

[Rana]

Deleted

 

[LostMyWay]

I don't like to say much about myself publicly anymore because I know that there are people that like to judge, even on forums like this, but I relate to a lot of what you've mentioned especially the rejection and feeling like you'll be alone forever. It can really mess with your self esteem, because it starts to make you think no one can or will like you and those sort of thoughts can really hurt. I've had a couple of women say they like me and whatnot, but it never felt genuine because after so many years of rejection and just not having someone I simply can't believe anyone could possibly like me. So just like you, I'm not sure if I can ever really move on either even though I know I need to.

You seem to focus on your physical appearance, or at least that's the impression I'm getting. I like to tell people that you should forget about your physical appearance and show people what sort of person you are, because if a person can't like or love you for who you are then I'm sorry but they're liking you for all the wrong reasons anyway. I know personally I couldn't care less about the way someone looks, what matters to me is who they are as a person, because if they aren't a good person or someone I can connect with then I don't care how physically attractive they are. I'm sure you're a good person, hell I bet you're a good looking person too, but you just have to find someone that will see you for the person you are instead of caring about your looks.

Don't let anyone say that you aren't attractive, especially if they don't know you as a person because there's much more to being attractive than just looking pretty.

 

[Rana]

I don't like to say much about myself publicly anymore because I know that there are people that like to judge, even on forums like this, but I relate to a lot of what you've mentioned especially the rejection and feeling like you'll be alone forever. It can really mess with your self esteem, because it starts to make you think no one can or will like you and those sort of thoughts can really hurt. I've had a couple of women say they like me and whatnot, but it never felt genuine because after so many years of rejection and just not having someone I simply can't believe anyone could possibly like me. So just like you, I'm not sure if I can ever really move on either even though I know I need to.

You seem to focus on your physical appearance, or at least that's the impression I'm getting. I like to tell people that you should forget about your physical appearance and show people what sort of person you are, because if a person can't like or love you for who you are then I'm sorry but they're liking you for all the wrong reasons anyway. I know personally I couldn't care less about the way someone looks, what matters to me is who they are as a person, because if they aren't a good person or someone I can connect with then I don't care how physically attractive they are. I'm sure you're a good person, hell I bet you're a good looking person too, but you just have to find someone that will see you for the person you are instead of caring about your looks.

Don't let anyone say that you aren't attractive, especially if they don't know you as a person because there's much more to being attractive than just looking pretty.

Thank you I’m sorry you go through all the same thing. It’s not fun. I’m feeling sad about my age. Sometimes I actually feel like I might not be very young but I’m still young and I shouldn’t waste these years missing the years that ocd ruined. Your around my age I feel that we should never feel old. I think its society that makes you feel any year out of your 20s is old when it’s not. I think for me and you it’s not our age but that we missed out and were treated bad. I’m sorry I don’t have an advice but I been trying to find a good therapist that does the therapy I need it’s not easy though. It would be nice if we could fix it without therapist but I’m that’s hasn’t worked for me. I really would like to meet a guy but more than anything I just want to have my mind not torturing me every second. Hope you are doing good though it would nice to have somebody to talk to who understands really nice to find others who care about others

 

[LostMyWay]

Thank you I’m sorry you go through all the same thing. It’s not fun. I’m feeling sad about my age. Sometimes I actually feel like I might not be very young but I’m still young and I shouldn’t waste these years missing the years that ocd ruined. Your around my age I feel that we should never feel old. I think its society that makes you feel any year out of your 20s is old when it’s not. I think for me and you it’s not our age but that we missed out and were treated bad. I’m sorry I don’t have an advice but I been trying to find a good therapist that does the therapy I need it’s not easy though. It would be nice if we could fix it without therapist but I’m that’s hasn’t worked for me. I really would like to meet a guy but more than anything I just want to have my mind not torturing me every second. Hope you are doing good though it would nice to have somebody to talk to who understands really nice to find others who care about others

It's definitely not fun, that's for sure. I feel the same way about my age too. I mean I know it isn't that old, probably only halfway through life, but it feels so much older. And I think it is just as you said, and it's that we missed out. It seems we both missed a lot of things in life because of what we've dealt with, and when we look back it really hurts us more than we should probably let it. I wish I had some advice too, but those are answers I just don't have either. I like to think that if I could find that woman in my life that my mind could finally be free, and that I'd have something better to focus on, but like you said anything to keep my mind from torturing me would be really nice.

I don't know if you would want to, but if you'd like to chat about anything I don't mind if you message me. You seem to deal with some of the same things that I do, so I feel like you would understand more than most would and I'm always looking to meet people that can actually understand. Obviously I'm no therapist, I wish I was lol, but I do like to try and help others even if it's in little ways so maybe just chatting can make a small difference. I struggle badly most days, so I know having someone to chat with would help me a little too since I don't really have people I can talk to.