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Am i being unreasonable or not?

Helpme555

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Mar 13, 2019
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#1
Hi all. This could be a long post.

In may of last year I remember feeling some stiffness in my neck when moving my head left. For some reason the first thought that popped in my head was cancer. I immediately started googling and began to poke and prod at my neck.

I made my first doctors appointment after noticing a bubble on my vein which turned out to be a vein valve. The doctor saw how worried I was and ordered a blood test which came back fine.

I felt better for a week or so and still felt the neck tension and started having a weird sensation when swallowing which would come and go. The neck tension seemed to come and go as well. I continued to poke and prod and found a bump on the back of my neck. I made another appointment.

Doctor said the bump was a cyst and no big deal. Again I felt better for a little while and then the familiar worry came back and I started looking again. I then noticed I had a tonsil larger than the other and I freaked.

I went to see another doctor who said she thought there was nothing at all wrong with me but she noticed what she said was a bump on the front of my lower neck but she didn't offer any more explanation. She saw how worried I was and asked if I wanted to see an ENT to which I agreed.

That same night I was looking for the bump she noticed and found it and I absolutely flipped out and knew then and there i was going to die. It felt kind of like a vein but a little firmer and would wobble side to side. Then I found another on the right side that was a little bigger but softer.

That night when i went to bed I woke up sweating. There goes the night sweats I thought to myself. I then started checking my temperature every 5 minutes throughout the day.

When I saw the ENT she said she didn't feel what I was talking about but ordered an ultra sound.

The ultra sound lady had to ask me where the bumps were and she scanned where I showed her they were.

The results came back 1.6 x .6 on the left and 2.0 x .8 on the right. I was then referred to a general surgeon. While waiting for this appointment I started Palpating my groin area really hard trying to find any lumps and couldn't find anything. But I palpated my groin so hard that I couldn't hardly walk for a few days after.

After my groin wasn't sore anymore I went back to check again and there is a new bump that definitely was not there before. It almost feels like a jagged firm vein that sticks up especially if I flex my muscles.

I met with the general surgeon who looked at them with an ultrasound and said he couldn't find anything at first and then he said that they were not lymph nodes and to forget about them. I didn't mention the bump in my groin because I was so happy about the news about my neck.

It's now been about 3 weeks since the bump in my groin appeared and it has no signs of going down. I'm starting to panic again and want to let a doctor check it out. My wife is extremely frustrated with me and has said there is nothing wrong with me from day one and so has my mother. They are both discouraging me from going back to the doctor but I am afraid maybe the surgeon was wrong and I have some kind of cancer spreading around my body. I feel fine and the only symptom is sometimes I sweat a little at night. But I always wake up and my anxiety goes through the roof as soon as I wake up.

Should I continue seeing a doctor or should I just forget about these bumps and hope for the best?
 
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
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#2
I think you know the answer to that. If anyone here told you to forget about it and move on, would you? Could you? My bet would be no. Believe me there is no judgement here as I have very high health anxiety, myself. Since you didn’t get the bumps in your groin area checked, have them checked. My thought is that it isn’t anything serious, just like the other issues you had turned out to be. But until you have someone of authority (doctor) tell you this, you won’t let up. Nothing anyone here will tell you will make you feel any better. My question for you is, are you getting any sort of therapy for this health anxiety or are you just trying to stay ahead of each episode that comes up?
 

Helpme555

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Mar 13, 2019
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#3
I realize everything I say makes me look unreasonable, but I catch myself saying this time is different I know this time it's something bad.

I have not had any counseling my particular job required me to have it together and maintain my composure but it's been really tough lately feeling like my days are numbered all the time.

I've missed out on so much precious time with my family because of this crap and it makes me so mad/sad.
 
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#4
I have to assume because I do not know you, just how health anxiety works, that when you say this time is different, that you probably have said that before. I feel for you, I really do. I understand this pattern so well, because I live it. However, if you don’t get some professional help for this you are going to continue to look for things that are wrong with you. Believe me, you keep digging long and hard enough, something will come up...doesn’t mean that something is dangerous or deadly...you will only think it is and head down that same rabbit hole each and every time. If there is one thing you can do for yourself that would be the most beneficial for you and your family is seek some help for the anxiety. Find someone you can talk open and honestly with and someone who can help you climb out of this hole.
 

Helpme555

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Mar 13, 2019
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#5
That's what I keep telling myself is that maybe I made this knot in my groin pop up because prior to that I was digging and prodding in there so hard it made me extremely sore and walking hurt for a few days afterward. And then all of a sudden there it was.

Thank you for all of your insight so far I know I need to do something to get myself together.
 

Guen

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Feb 25, 2019
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#6
I know I caused my own symptoms when found what felt like a "lump" in my neck (turns out it was a tense muscle, probably from panicking and stressing over the C-word) and kept worrying at it. That only made it tighten and feel worse, and I think it actually started messing with my hyoid (the bone in your throat) making the inside of my throat feel swollen. If you can, make a deal with yourself not to touch it for a few days and see if the pain decreases or the lump shrinks. That's what I did and the neck pain only returned a few days later when I started messing with it again.
 
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