Afternoon all :)

[atillasmum]

I've known for many years that there was something wrong with how my brain did things, it has only been over the last year through teaching my partner about his depression that Ive grown to have an understanding of my thought patterns, behaviou's and such. I haven't spoken with a medical professional yet, though I know it is coming very soon as my anxiety is heavily affecting most of my every day life. This is one of my first steps in my healing nice to meet you all!

 

[triceps]

I've known for many years that there was something wrong with how my brain did things, it has only been over the last year through teaching my partner about his depression that Ive grown to have an understanding of my thought patterns, behaviou's and such. I haven't spoken with a medical professional yet, though I know it is coming very soon as my anxiety is heavily affecting most of my every day life. This is one of my first steps in my healing nice to meet you all!

Hi and welcome atiiasmum. You've come to a compassionate and understanding place here. It does sound like you've made a good decision on your next step being talking with your medical professional. Sorry your partner is dealing with depression.

 

[Chris]

Welcome atiiasmum, nice to meet you as well.

 

[Rinka]

I've known for many years that there was something wrong with how my brain did things, it has only been over the last year through teaching my partner about his depression that Ive grown to have an understanding of my thought patterns, behaviou's and such. I haven't spoken with a medical professional yet, though I know it is coming very soon as my anxiety is heavily affecting most of my every day life. This is one of my first steps in my healing nice to meet you all!

Welcome to the forum. It’s funny how we can not realise that we are suffering from anxiety, because we have developed advanced and from time to time unhealthy cooping mechanisms.
I hope we can support you here in your journey

 

[atillasmum]

Thank you very much Triceps, Chris and Rinka. I have spoken to a doctor before and been put on medication but the doctor just treated me like a number not a person and I didn't trust her view of me as she didn't care enough and I didn't take the meds. Where I'm at now, I can barely hold a proper conversation with my partner without getting crippling anxiety or a panic attack, I spend hours every thursday morning forcing myself to go to work once a week with my mum and getting to any other normal everyday thing over the last couple weeks comes with a whole lot of persuasion and calming in my head. Its got real bad, I feel those extremely tight reigns I've held over my whole life are slipping and im struggling to hold on

 

[triceps]

Thank you very much Triceps, Chris and Rinka. I have spoken to a doctor before and been put on medication but the doctor just treated me like a number not a person and I didn't trust her view of me as she didn't care enough and I didn't take the meds. Where I'm at now, I can barely hold a proper conversation with my partner without getting crippling anxiety or a panic attack, I spend hours every thursday morning forcing myself to go to work once a week with my mum and getting to any other normal everyday thing over the last couple weeks comes with a whole lot of persuasion and calming in my head. Its got real bad, I feel those extremely tight reigns I've held over my whole life are slipping and im struggling to hold on

Can I ask if you picked up those meds and what they might be? Sounds like you're in crisis and need to do something.

 

[atillasmum]

yes I did, they were Lorazepam. Yes I am, I had a very long and deep chat with my partner last night, and have finally got his verbal acknowledgement that he is going to consistently and verbally support me so the world isnt so scary today for now