Afraid of fear

[Concernedgal]

The thing about having mild agoraphobia is that it takes your life away. I don't live anymore and it's killing me inside. What I would givery to be able to jump to the chance to go with my husband on weekend dates..but.. I can't because of this mild agoraphobia so I decline everytime. I have most of my panic attacks in a car so.. I try to avoid those situations where I am stuck in a car for long periods of time. You see....the longer I am in a car... the more likely I am to have an attack. My husband is trying too be understanding he offers too stop the car when I feel anxious or nervous but...my brain tells me ( no! It's too risky ) and I don't go. This sucks. But...this is my life now. I guess I don't have 1.

 

[Brad66]

Have you ever read a Claire Weekes book she wrote a lot about agoraphobia and how she successfully treated it. You might want to check her out if you haven't already.

 

[SinceDayOne88]

Another book I may suggest is called From Panic To Power by Lucinda Bassett. I have a hard time with reading books myself, but I actually got into this book. She talks about anxiety and agoraphobia in this book. Maybe it could help.

As much as it sucks, I also understand that exposure therapy can sometimes be the best way to face your fears. I would suggest doing this with a licensed counselor if possible. But outside of that, when you have the anxiety in a vehicle, are you the one driving? If not, do you think that it could possibly be a fear of not having control since you're not the one driving? I have this issue myself.

Good luck, and much love and peace!
Arizona

 

[Concernedgal]

Oh lord...the dreaded exposure therapy.
How can you convince yourself to purposely put yourself in that position? Tried it a couple of times (unseccessfully ) . Maybe eventually I will get back out there but.. for now I think I will have to just inch myself back into it. Thank you SinceDayOne88 and Brad66. I will definitely check these books out.

 

[SinceDayOne88]

I know it seems extreme and could be terrifying. Let's say someone wanted me to conquer my fears of spiders, and I had to put one in my hand. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!! So I get it! And you're welcome for the suggestion. I hope everything works out for you Concerned!

 

[Concernedgal]

I know it seems extreme and could be terrifying. Let's say someone wanted me to conquer my fears of spiders, and I had to put one in my hand. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!! So I get it! And you're welcome for the suggestion. I hope everything works out for you Concerned!

Thank you

 

[triceps]

Hi. I'm an agoraphobic and relate to everything you describe. I make myself leave the house twice a week that helps me feel that I'm not a complete hermit. Even that's very hard even though I go to a very good friend's house for coffee and an AA meeting. Same activities done hundreds of times but still extremely difficult. Exposure therapy obviously hasn't worked for me.

 

[Concernedgal]

I had it force myself to get a job. That was 4 years ago.
I still have that job but, my place of employment is 10 min away.
But...other than that...I don't do much else.
When i'm out and about,my stomach gets all messed up, I have a difficult time breathing and I swear i feel as though I will pass out at any moment.
I was lucky to find this place that I work at and it wasn't an easy thing g to do to get "used" to it.
My employer started me out at 1 day a week (very understanding guy) and slowly .. I was (weaned ) into it. It took a lot of time to get used to the fact of having a job.
I'm proud of that accomplishment however. ...being there offers an escape...it has doors and it's not going 40 to 80 miles an hour on a road. That's my problem with being in a car.
If I have a panic attack in a car . ..there is no escape.
I'm sure you know how that feels .
No means of escape....it's a no go for me. And I suppose that also why I won't go to a public indoor event. If you start freaking out during those events... you look like an odd ball ...a weirdo....a freak.
And besides...my job is also 10 min away from an emergency room too.....big plus.
I have been successful in this but...when it comes to riding in a car and being at an event or even a family get together.
I cannot.....I will not do it.

 

[Wanting to get better]

I want you to know that I connect to your struggle. I feel the pain of isolation and fear along with you. Do your best to be kind to yourself, and remember that many of us are with you.

 

[Concernedgal]

I want you to know that I connect to your struggle. I feel the pain of isolation and fear along with you. Do your best to be kind to yourself, and remember that many of us are with you.

Thank you very much. That's very kind of you.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hey there - just wanted to also say that lots of us can relate, and to be kind and loving with yourself. It's great that you got that job! Celebrate that, and remember that the things you CAN do are just as important as the things you can't.

 

[Concernedgal]

Aww. That's so sweet of you .
I'm always a negative person now.
Which is sad because I didn't used to be.

 

[triceps]

We have such difficulties going anywhere that involves driving. That is a big handicap. But you've got a job, a huge accomplishment.Can I ask what has you feel has made you so negative?

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

I was wondering the same thing. I know that in MY case, there have been some traumas along the way that brought on a lot of my symptoms, and also made me really negative for a very long time. I have been able to heal a lot in the past few years, but I know I will never see the world the same way I did before. And that's okay.

Anyways, you're doing great and you're not alone!