Abdominal and back cramps, fear of cancer

[matisworried]

can u help me ease my fears with specific way/time of twitching

check out this link. if you have anymore questions or concerns, post 'em here, start your own thread or feel free to send me a DM if you have specific questions for me! hopefully this helps!

IS MY TWITCHING RELATED TO ALS?

 

[anxiousinamerica]

I typed up a long initial reply, and then realized I'm doing a whole lot of speculating, which is not helpful. I'll just outline my main concerns here.

I'm just worried that I'm not getting the full story, and that the MRI will reveal something that the previous test didn't. It's like, if they already know what it is, then why would I need another test?

But I think I am doing a little better since receiving the diagnosis. I still have the same aches and pains, but my mind doesn't immediately jump to the worst case scenario. So that's an improvement. (I do get the unsettling image of a blood vessel rupturing in my liver, though.) Not looking forward to my MRI at all, but at least I feel like I can get through this weekend without feeling like I need immediate answers.

Just thinking about what purpose worrying serves me, and why it's often so difficult to stop...I think traditionally it's just been my way of bracing myself for bad news. I feel like if I let myself get too comfortable, I could be completely blindsided. But I also admit that it has often caused me needless stress.

 

[matisworried]

I typed up a long initial reply, and then realized I'm doing a whole lot of speculating, which is not helpful. I'll just outline my main concerns here.

I'm just a bit worried that I'm not getting the full story, and that the MRI will reveal something that the previous test didn't. It's like, if they already know what it is, then why would I need another test?

But I think I am doing a little better since receiving the diagnosis. I still have the same aches and pains, but my mind doesn't immediately jump to the worst case scenario. So that's an improvement. (I do get the unsettling image of a blood vessel rupturing in my liver, though.) Not looking forward to my MRI at all, but at least I feel like I can get through this weekend without feeling like I need immediate answers.

Just thinking about what purpose worrying serves me, and why it's often so difficult to stop...I think traditionally it's just been my way of bracing myself for bad news. I feel like if I let myself get too comfortable, I could be completely blindsided. But I also admit that it has often caused me needless stress.

there is usually very specific protocol for officially diagnosing a condition. from your ultrasound, it's likely they saw enough to be confident enough to pass on the info but because mri is gold standard for official diagnosis, that's what they're gonna do. heck... it could be partially related to your anxiety. while i don't encourage scheduling follow-ups, if you have some sort of a patient portal, you could always email your doctor to ask why they're going ahead with the MRI. you could also ask if it's even medically necessary.

worrying is worthless. it helps nothing, it changes nothing. it is literally the most useless emotion we have.

 

[SuperAnxious]

Hi @anxiousinamerica . I feel that I need to respond to this post as I relate to it in many different ways. I am 37 years old, male, so perhaps my story can help your anxiety a bit.

Back in 2009 my mom was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and I was shocked. She was only 50 at the time and we were (are) very close. Coincidentally or not, a few days after I got the news, I started feeling pain on the right side of my abdomen and it would spread to my back and even to my belly button. To me it seems very similar to yours. I've been having the same pain for 10 years now and after several ultrasounds NOTHING was found that could justify the pain. I can only assume it's related to gas or IBS which attacks me once in a while. (By the way my mom is doing super well 10 years later).

I also totally understand that the worst part is waiting for results. The first time my doctor asked me for a abdominal ultrasound I had to wait for 2 weeks for results (quite unusual) and honestly I'm not sure how I managed to survive. So you are not alone brother !

I am sure you will be fine and see that it was just a hiccup. The biggest problem for people like us (anxious) is trying to find answers on Dr. Google...

 

[anxiousinamerica]

Hi @anxiousinamerica . I feel that I need to respond to this post as I relate to it in many different ways. I am 37 years old, male, so perhaps my story can help your anxiety a bit.

Back in 2009 my mom was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and I was shocked. She was only 50 at the time and we were (are) very close. Coincidentally or not, a few days after I got the news, I started feeling pain on the right side of my abdomen and it would spread to my back and even to my belly button. To me it seems very similar to yours. I've been having the same pain for 10 years now and after several ultrasounds NOTHING was found that could justify the pain. I can only assume it's related to gas or IBS which attacks me once in a while. (By the way my mom is doing super well 10 years later).

I also totally understand that the worst part is waiting for results. The first time my doctor asked me for a abdominal ultrasound I had to wait for 2 weeks for results (quite unusual) and honestly I'm not sure how I managed to survive. So you are not alone brother !

I am sure you will be fine and see that it was just a hiccup. The biggest problem for people like us (anxious) is trying to find answers on Dr. Google...

Thanks for sharing your story. I also sometimes get it near my belly button...slightly to the right, but very very close. Clearly if you've been going a decade with these symptoms, something would've revealed itself by now if there were anything wrong. So hearing that certainly makes me feel a little better, considering my symptoms are so similar.

Maybe some of it is anxiety-related, especially if you literally got it days after learning of your mom's illness. Glad she got through it OK. Me and my mom are very close too, and she'll be turning 70 soon. I worry about her almost as much as myself, but obviously she doesn't tell me about every little ache and pain she has. I do ask her if she visits the doctor regularly, and of course, she'll never let me forget the time I persuaded her to get a colonoscopy. Apparently it's unpleasant. Lol But I'm glad she went through with it, even if it was just to humor me.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and have been trying to figure out single life again, so I wonder if the stress of that could have contributed to my symptoms. But I can never really know. I also noticed that they seemed to come on less than a day after I got my flu shot. But I think that's probably coincidence. Or it could simply be from sitting, lying or kneeling in one position for too long. I have a habit of that too.

I have to say though, that these past few days, ever since getting back the results of the ultrasound, I've been feeling a lot better mentally. The symptoms still come and go, but I've been able to focus on other things I enjoy, rather than just thinking about my health 24/7. I still have to get an MRI, so I don't feel like I'm out of the woods yet. But I am more able to say to myself that I don't have to worry about it this second, and can more easily imagine it being something other than the worst case scenario. Don't know how long this will last, but at least the past few days have felt like a brief respite from all the chaos, and I sorely needed it.

 

[anxiousinamerica]

there is usually very specific protocol for officially diagnosing a condition. from your ultrasound, it's likely they saw enough to be confident enough to pass on the info but because mri is gold standard for official diagnosis, that's what they're gonna do. heck... it could be partially related to your anxiety. while i don't encourage scheduling follow-ups, if you have some sort of a patient portal, you could always email your doctor to ask why they're going ahead with the MRI. you could also ask if it's even medically necessary.

worrying is worthless. it helps nothing, it changes nothing. it is literally the most useless emotion we have.

Well, I didn't ask for the MRI, so I think that must mean it's medically necessary. My doctor's office does have a patient portal, and that's how I messaged them the first time, which is what led to all these tests.

I almost mentioned in my previous reply that I wonder if doctors have a protocol in dealing with health-anxiety sufferers where they are trained to only tell them what they feel is absolutely necessary for them to know. I kinda want to avoid messaging my doctor too often, because if I seem to them like too much of a hypochondriac (although, honestly, that cat is probably now out of the bag), I'm a bit concerned they might just sugar-coat things, instead of giving it to me straight.

When this is all over, I do feel like I'd like to finally do something about this health anxiety though...just not sure what. I feel the same way you do about medication, but I'm also having second thoughts about whether more therapy is really the answer either. I'm already seeing a therapist, and have been in and out of therapy for various things since I was 12 or 13. I'm already familiar with some of the aspects of CBT, and can probably google most of the techniques online if I really want to practice them. I do believe therapy is helpful, but I think that maybe it can only take you so far. After a certain point, it's up to you how succesful you are at applying it. These past couple of weeks have been a bit of a relapse, but I do think my anxiety overall has gotten better over the years. So I'm not confident that seeing yet another professional is going to make that much of a difference for me anymore.

 

[Stressed out]

I'm 40 and male, and this is my first post here. A couple weeks ago, I started getting a cramp in my right abdomen, radiating to my back, which I am still experiencing. I went to the doctor two days ago, and they couldn't figure out what it was.

I went home and googled my symptoms (which I know I really shouldn't do), and now I'm convinced I have pancreatic cancer, and will probably die within five years. This thought has been consuming me for the past couple of days, to the point where I can think of little else. I may start the day feeling more positive, thinking I'm starting to feel better, but every time the symptom hits, it sends me into a negative spiral, to the point where I'm afraid of the symptoms themselves, and the anxiety just makes them worse.

I know that I have a pretty long history of health anxiety, and I thought it had improved considerably in recent years. But because the symptom in this case is so specific, I can't help think that if I get tested, I will be proven right this time. I feel like my GP is either missing the obvious, or (more likely) doesn't want to send me for a lot of tests until they have enough information. The "wait and see" approach.

I don't know what good posting this is, but I guess it can't hurt. I do go to therapy once a month, and usually I have ways of managing my anxiety better. I've been trying to read articles about overcoming health anxiety. But in this instance, I can't get past the thought that my fear is justified. The alternative explanations I am trying to come up with in my head aren't convincing enough to me. So maybe by posting here, I can get different perspectives? Maybe someone has gone through something similar, or is able to manage their fear better. I don't know. I just want to escape this negative thought cycle and get on with my life, but I can't seem to.

Pain on right side or left? Pancreas is on left. I had that too some time ago. Totally convinced myself I had pancreatic cancer. I got my dr to order Bloodwork focusing on pancreas and it came back good. Then that wasn’t good enough for me so I ask her to order an ultrasound on my abdomen. That was clear. That satisfied me but then eventually I moved on to another body part. It’s draining. Hope you feel better. Ask your dr to order the Bloodwork.

 

[anxiousinamerica]

I just got a text from the MRI center to call them so that they can get the necessary medical information in preparation for my procedure next week. So I did, and now I feel my anxiety level starting to rise again. There's an event I was planning on attending after work, and part of me is wondering if I should just cancel. I don't know if I'm going to be in the mood to socialize.

I went online to look up MRIs and what they entail, and it looks like it's a pretty accurate test, more so then the ultrasound was. They inject you with a dye so they can see all your organs in detail, which sounds pretty off-putting in itself.

But what really makes me nervous is that I feel like if anything is wrong, this test is going to find it, and my life may be significantly altered as a result. I find it hard to believe my symptoms don't have some underlying cause. And even if they don't, the ultrasound I had a few weeks back already turned up something unexpected...which initially seemed to be nothing serious...but I don't know what other things next week's MRI may uncover, and it makes me uneasy.

Sometimes I feel like ignorance really is bliss, and maybe I don't really want to know what it is. Because then I could go on believing in the possibility that I'm still healthy, and get on with my life. Even though rationally I know, if something really is wrong with me, I have a much better chance of survival if they find out sooner rather than later.

Mercury retrograde has been in effect for several weeks according to astrologists...so I also keep thinking it means that crucial information is currently hidden from me, and once I get the results from the upcoming test (which is after the retrograde) is when I will find out the real truth. I'm aware it may be a superstitious and irrational thought (and that astrology may actually be BS), but it's just an example of how my brain is tripping me up lately.

 

[anxiousinamerica]

UPDATE: The doctor finally called back this morning, and thankfully the MRI results turned up nothing new. It confirmed that I do have a liver hemangioma, which is not life threatening. But it didn't exactly give me closure either. Because now they say they have to check up on it every six months to make sure it doesn't grow in size. I'm not completely sure what happens if it does grow...but I think I remember reading that in such a scenario, I might have to go under the knife. I'll do my best to resist looking up any further information, since it isn't relevant to me at this moment.

I keep referring to the rabbit hole, and what happens when you go down it...how you may wind up finding out things that you could have been better off simply not being aware of. Ignorance really can be bliss sometimes. On one hand, it's good that the doctor is keeping an eye on my condition, in case it does get worse. On the other hand, there's probably an equal chance that it will never change or become a problem for my entire life, in which case I just created more future worry and stress for myself by having to now get tested for it again every six months. And what they're testing for likely isn't even related to the reason that I went to the doctor to begin with.

But I am glad the doctor didn't wait until after the holiday weekend to call me back, because at least for now, I think I can put it to the back of my mind and try to enjoy this Thanksgiving.

 

[matisworried]

this is excellent news!

i know exactly what you mean about the rabbit hole... but the reality is that even though this isn't what they were initially looking for, it IS ultimately probably a good thing that they found it because now it can be monitored. just try to keep in mind that this is not life-threatening and that your follow-up scans are likely standard procedure. i'm guessing you won't require scans that frequently for life. they'll probably do them every six months for a year and then drop it back to yearly, then every other year/five years or maybe never again.

 

[klemmeri]

exercise is very helpful for reducing anxiety.

like they say "idle hands are the devil's playthings." if my (health) anxiety is particularly bad, i NEED to stay active. sitting around only gives my brain time to think and that's the last thing i need. learning CBT techniques are very beneficial during these times as well.

I would like to underscore matisworried’s point. Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. I’ve had GAD all my life, health anxiety in particular. In 1994 it blew up into full blown constant panic. No relief. I found a psychiatrist who prescribed 3 mg Xanax per day. I remember him saying to me “if you want me to talk you out of it you need to see someone else” (I.e. no behavior mod therapy). The Xanax worked. Unfortunately, over time I developed a tolerance to the drug and it now works ‘less well’. Also, I retired as a university professor. Now my wife and i are ’relaxing’ in retirement... well she is anyway. My health anxiety issues have returned mostly because I don’t have much to occupy the brain. While I now have a psychiatrist who devels out the Xanax he doesn’t talk, literally. Given the thought that things have changed a lot in 25 years I made an appt. with a psychologist yesterday in the hope that something like CBT might help. We’ll see.

Aa far as pancreatic cancer, my dad and a cousin died of it. I have another cousin current with it. You did the right thing in going to the doctor but note it is relatively rare. One of the classic symptoms is jaundice caused by a tumor blocking the bile duct. They all had that. People would notice that. Your eyes and skin would be yellow. Even then that’s not a definitive diagnosis. Pain in the back is caused by many things including anxiety. Loss of appetite and weight loss are also common. All this took a good month to come on in all cases. I’m certainly not a good advice giver since I have HA too. But when your current ‘issue’ is not the one being discussed you tend to look at someone else’s issue a bit more objectively.

 

[matisworried]

I’m certainly not a good advice giver since I have HA too. But when your current ‘issue’ is not the one being discussed you tend to look at someone else’s issue a bit more objectively.

don't sell yourself short! this is solid advice!

i'd actually argue that fellow sufferers are often the best advice givers since we have such intimate knowledge of this illness ticks.