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A day with the mind of an hypochondriac

Kaynil

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So, you realise some symptoms popping up in you in a short period of time. You think about it and remember how Sumonelse who is very sick with Ascarilness started up with the same symptoms that you are experimenting. Heck, if you think about it in more detail you could swear that they even appeared in Sumonelse in the same order you are experiencing it right now. You tense up and try very hard to remember what's next. You rationalise that if the next symptoms come up then you definitely have it. You have Ascarilness too!


What was that pain? It is quite similar to that next symptom, remember how Sumonelse used to describe it? Does that wording fit with what you're feeling? No... no, your pain is less concentrated. Although, Sumonelse said it started being mildly at first. However, you know better than to panic, for all you know this is nothing. You try to reassure yourself that there are many different things that your current symptoms could mean, most of them pretty petty... except for that weird disease your uncle had.


Now that you think about it, the way your uncle described his pain fits very nicely with the pain you are feeling just now. Did he also felt any of the other symptoms? Not all, but he did share some, is that enough to be concerned? Maybe he just ignored the other two. Oh, but what are the chances? Unless the disease is genetic, then the chances are high. Yeah. 


You look at the wall clock and realise that hours have gone by, you were too busy circling the living room with your hand rubbing your sore area. Maybe you should let it go. You know you;'ve done this before and it turned to be nothing or go away on their own.It is probably just a coincidence, nothing serious. Besides yesterday you spend most of you day out, maybe you're just sore. You can't convince yourself to stop, it just doesn't make sense. You go out all the time? Why having this symptom today of all days? Too much of a coincidence too that it cam,e with the other ones. What if this time your hunch is right?


Oh, but you know what they will say when you talk about what's worrying you. As usual, their first impulse is to try to reassure you. You know they mean well but at the same time it is annoying just how easily they dismiss it all by saying "it's nothing". You try to explain the pattern, plain as day, and they think you're just obsessing over nothing but their reasoning to dismiss it sounds even more flimsy than what you have. How is it that just hoping is nothing has more weight than actually spotting a pattern that brings at least some sort of probability of this being something serious.


You know what is going to happen so you just keep it to yourself. You decide to wait a bit for the next symptoms and as soon as they come, then they will have to agree that there is something going on. Before is too late. You hope that you're not letting go of your only opportunity to pick it up in time. 


You only have yourself to talk to about it and you know going online will backfire, but you go anyway. You go and cling to every piece of line that sounds like what you have, and you feel it.


You think you pretty much got the info and confirmation you needed, but before closing the browser you clicked in related articles. You read it with a lazy gaze until you realise it is describing you. You raise your body and keep reading.  It resonates with you. You definitely got this. It explains everything, even those things you thought were traits turned out they were symptoms all along. You feel like a weight was lifted and can't wait to share your findings.


* * *


What started as a simple thread asking if you guys have ever compared yourself with other sick people, ended up in this writing.  Anyway, does any of this ring any bells? Can you relate to any of this? Maybe you have someone that is a bit a like this.


I am not like this often, but I can't say I have never been a hypochondriac. This is probably putting together all my experiences into one. Haha.
 

Lyndra

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Thank you for this. It is a really good piece of writing, and I've been Sumonelse sometimes as well. There's a reason I blocked WebMD and several other medical sites, since it seemed to say everything was either cancer or something bizarre, rare, and tropical: "Call your doctor now".

It was normally a cold.
 

Concernedgal

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Yeah. Web md and google. Every symptom you Google .. well, let me give you an example. Fatigue and headache. You knw what pops up? Anywhere from early signs of heart attack, cancer , and even hiv pops up. What? Ok . So I have a yearly exam. I know I have neither of those conditions. It's just crazy. You know what else causes headache and fatigue? Not getting enough sleep , side effects of the anti anxiety medication, . So why do they always show the worst possible scenario? It doesn't make any sense to me. :arghh:
 

man of God

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They are required to show the very worst possible scenarios in each case. This serves as a pre-warning and consumer discretion. Many of these side effects do happen often and regularly, making things truly get a bit more scary than one might expect....
 

ptahm22

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I've had anxiety attacks about having diabetes. I remembered my friend who carries a syringe for injecting insulin every day. I also read the symptoms and some of them matched my situation. I even went to the hospital and unfortunately their machines were malfunctioning and they even confirmed I had diabetes. It was the worst day of my life. I visited another hospital and that's where everything was made clear and I was just having some side effects due to some pills I had taken. :smug:
 
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